inspired by this:

let's share all the myths and taboos about sex that you learned when you were young and impressionable - especially those bits that you believed, but didn't know they were wrong or misinterpreted.

i guess it would be polite if i shared mine ... but i don't really have any. i was so ignorant of sex during my public school years, i didn't know even any myths. well, except this summerization of all the public sex ed i got from public school: "this is a penis. this is a vagina. when they come together, babies happen. and then you get an STD."

Well.

I give her the money from my lemonade stand, she tells me that it's not quite enough, so I sell my hotwheels, and then she touches my hand and I get all tingly in my no-no place, and then she says she doesn't want to.
Then I go beat up the other kids.

NSFW

<a href='http://www.plime.com/redir.p?http://youtube.com/watch?v=ihSEBDHd78s' class='plime' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'><b>flash video</b></a>

Last week?

I used to think when I was about 7 or 8 that the man put his dinkle in the womans belly-button to have sexy-time.

Thats just me though

No. That's Cinemax after dark. Sounds like you fell asleep and left it on again.

wtf? Are you on the vicodin again? I thought we talked about this?! :D

I thought that God had a people workshop and the elves and God made babies all day long, and when they are ready God delivered the baby to the mommy in a sleigh. Clearly I had God confused with Santa Claus.

I was also totally bummed that I didn't have a penis like my brothers. But I'm over it now.

You can have my penis if you want

That came out all wrong.

Sorry, I was born knowing everything there was to know about sex.

That did too.

Moms go out in the cabbage patch and they find boy babies under the leaves of a blue cabbage and girl babies under the leaves of a pink cabbage. What's so difficult about that?

Punch it, Herb
Yo, I don't think we should talk about this
Come on, why not?
People might misunderstand what we're tryin' to say, you know?
No, but that's a part of life

Come on

[CHORUS]

Let's talk about sex, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let's talk about sex
Let's talk about sex
Let's talk about sex
Let's talk about sex

Let's talk about sex for now to the people at home or in the crowd
It keeps coming up anyhow
Don't decoy, avoid, or make void the topic
Cuz that ain't gonna stop it
Now we talk about sex on the radio and video shows
Many will know anything goes
Let's tell it how it is, and how it could be
How it was, and of course, how it should be
Those who think it's dirty have a choice
Pick up the needle, press pause, or turn the radio off
Will that stop us, Pep? I doubt it
All right then, come on, Spin

[CHORUS]

Hot to trot, make any man's eyes pop
She use what she got to get whatever she don't got
Fellas drool like fools, but then again they're only human
The chick was a hit because her body was boomin'
Gold, pearls, rubies, crazy diamonds
Nothin' she ever wore was ever common
Her dates heads of state, men of taste
Lawyers, doctors, no one was too great for her to get with
Or even mess with, the Prez she says was next on her list
And believe me, you, it's as good as true
There ain't a man alive that she couldn't get next to
She had it all in the bag so she should have been glad
But she was mad and sad and feelin' bad
Thinkin' about the things that she never had
No love, just sex, followed next with a check and a note
That last night was dope

Let's talk about sex, baby (sing it)
Let's talk about you and me (sing it, sing it)
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let's talk about sex (come on)
Let's talk about sex (do it)
Let's talk about sex (uh-huh)
Let's talk about sex

Ladies, all the ladies, louder now, help me out
Come on, all the ladies - let's talk about sex, all right
[repeat]

(Yo, Pep, I don't think they're gonna play this on the radio
And why not? Everybody has sex
I mean, everybody should be makin' love
Come on, how many guys you know make love?)

[CHORUS]

I thought that if you got real close to the tv and looked down you could see what the tv wasn't showing. I think I realized that didn't work after the first time of trying to see down a shirt on tv.

That doesn't work??? I thought I just wasn't getting the right angle!

Well don't just lie there... put it back in!

Okay, my story: A friend of mine told me when I was 9 or 10 that women had two holes. One was for peeing, and one was for sexy-time. I spent the next few years TERRIFIED of sex. How would I know which hole was which?

*I still get the wrong one sometimes, but I pretend it's an accident

I thought they had two holes so that you could carry them like a six-pack.

That just made me think of this

I thought animals had butt sex and just had different reproductive plumbing. This led me to believe that doggystyle was another term for anal.

This was after I was young but when I wasn't old enough yet to have out grown being naive.

I think you'll find that the proper spelling is buttsecks

The Blaster (otherwise known as the doggylives)

Hahahahaha I just knew it was only time before someone brought that up. I'm gonna try that one, I'll let you know how it goes.