Because they look nothing like the Woody Wagons from back in the day and they are a ridiculous excuse for an automobile. Oh, and they are manufactured by Chrysler.

Why do you hate basket weaved floor tiles?

Too busy! I think floors should be either natural woods or a solid color. Busy patterns on the floor draw the eye down, making rooms appear smaller and ceilings lower.

Why do you hate t-shirts?

Because they make me look even skinnier than I already am.


Why do you hate Jerry520?

Because he is an easy target!

Why do you hate pickled onions?

They look like blind eyeballs, and are slimy.

Why do you hate prostitutes?

Because they won't allow you to slide your debit card between their butt cheeks for payment. I mean, I slide my debit card at the pump for fuel... what gives, eh!?

Why do you hate cell phones?

Because everytime I am doing something important the darn thing rings.....hold on
.
.
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okay, I'm back. Where was I. Right. Whenever I am trying to do some....hold on....geez..

Why do you hate cordouroy?

Because he reminds me that Captain Kangaroo is dead.

OMG I am so sad now.

Why do you hate ping pong balls? (with a tip of the hat to Mr. Moose)

Because sometimes, in Beer Pong, they get crushed, and that crushes me.


Why do you hate vitamins?

Because they are so arrogant, that they just HAVE to come before minerals!

Why do you hate vulcanized rubber?

Because they prevent little baby Mr. Spocks.

Why do you hate the sound of one hand clapping?

^ BWAHAHHAAHAHAAA!!!!

Because it isn't anywhere near as loud as one finger snapping.

Why do you hate ball point pens?

Because every time I grab one (usually while I'm on the phone and need to write something down), it's completely out of ink. Same with pencils... every time I grab one, the point is completely gone. That's why I prefer using wordperfect.


Why do you hate 7-Eleven?

Because, while not as difficult as the 7-10 split, the 7-11 usually leaves me without the spare.

Why do you hate Excel?

In a WORD, it always tries to make its POWERPOINT while still maintaining a positive OUTLOOK. I just don't have time to ACCESS that.

Why do you hate peanut butter?

Urggg. I actually do hate peanut butter. It's sooooo dry and sticks to the roof of your mouth and it tastes like poop.

Why do you hate polar bears?

[threadjack]
How would you know what poop tastes like?
If you don't take anything else away from Plime, you should know that you DON'T EAT POOP!
[/threadjack]

Because getting the algebraic curve to look like a bear is very difficult.

Why do you hate threadjacks?

Because if a thread cannot stand on its own, it needs to die. Using jacks to prop it up should not be allowed.

Why do you hate smart ass answers?

Because they're normally made by dumb-asses.

Why do you hate Viagra?

Because it makes men think that the key to their own sexual pleasure, as well as their partner's, is a throbbing erection. Whatever happened to the rest of the body??

Why do you hate your job?