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Posted: 5 months ago by donteatpoop:
Have you ever read Letters from a Nut by Ted L Nancy (Jerry Seinfeld)? He made two or three of them as I recall. I own(ed) the first two at least, and read through them. They were amusing letters written to various companies asking stupid questions... It's actually kind of hard to explain if you haven't read it so I'll just post two examples:
So anyway, I was thinking that we could do something similar for fun and post any results you may get here.
We could write to celebrities or contact companies like the book did. Whatever. It could be fun, especially with you brilliant b*****ds.
Anyone interested?
(this idea came to me when I considered writing a "thank you" letter to Tim McGraw for this gem)
Score: [-] 291 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by cheeselog1234:
SOUNDS LIKE A JOB FOR THE...
(LOL i should have kept the original with spelling errors - would've added to the irony)
Score: [-] 54 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by hOOsker:
More letters
Special thanks to Mersh
Score: [-] 37 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by Beeeny:
19-April-1991
Ms. Dorothy Puccini
Manager, Consumer Services
Procter & Gamble Company
P.O. Box 599
Cincinnati, Ohio 45201
Gentlemen....
My anus is very important to me.
....
Roffle.
Score: [-] 55 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by donteatpoop:
Any interest in trying this out?
Score: [-] 57 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by hOOsker:
« donteatpoop:Any interest in trying this out? Yes...but I don't know when. business is brutal at this moment...
Maybe late next week I can pop one out for you.
( ↑↑↑↑Almost exactly the same words your mom said to me last night↑↑↑↑ )
Score: [-] 329 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by cheeselog1234:
maybe. any ideas for what corp to write to?
Score: [-] 37 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by donteatpoop:
« cheeselog1234 : maybe. any ideas for what corp to write to? Creative intuition?
I was going primarily with celebreties, just because there is more... material to work with.
You could always write to some food manufacturer and ask questions about roaches... I don't know. I'm gonna brainstorm and come up with a few before I type them and send them out.
Score: [-] 0 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by hOOsker:
britney i love you so much oh my god i wish i was you.
i think we have so much in common my frends tell me i look like you and i noe all of your songs i shave the exact same as you (dont tell my dad)and all the time im say stuff like "ooops i did that again"
i love LOVE LOVE YOU. your man kevin is so hawt and looks exactly like my boyfrend coletus. we been going out for 2 in a half weeks and we finally "did it". it was so great cuz i made him put on your cd befor i let him do anything. im only 13 but i ben arond and have ben threw so much. ahole lot more then most peple my age. coletus is a bit older then me and has a job and a car and the hole flore of a basement of his perents house wich is like having your very one house really. we are happy and i hope you are too.
love jenny,
Gloucester High School,
Gloucester, Mass.
Score: [-] 191 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by bluenutria:
I'm doing this!
I need to mull it over. I have to pick a target and create a persona.
Score: [-] 18 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by pocksucket:
Extra upvotes for the first person to get issued with a restraining order.
Score: [-] 267 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by smarty1052:
oh oh oh sounds fun .. I wanna play.. i like restraining orders
Score: [-] 105 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by xiatethebish:
« smarty1052 : oh oh oh sounds fun .. I wanna play.. i like restraining orders You seem like a guy who would get them a lot. ;]
Score: [-] 52 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by madhatteraggie:
oh the damamge i can do....
Score: [-] 17 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by leehblanc:
Oh, count me IN! (You knew you could count on me, DEP) I will try to get something done by the weekend.
Score: [-] 55 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by ReBoot:
I received a letter from a couple of nuts just the other day:
Dear [my name],
We are writing to respectfully request that you stop using us so much. We're worn out! Honestly, do you ever sleep? We can't keep up with the demand. We're beginning to wonder if dropping was such a good idea after all. Give us a break, or we're going back.
Sincerely,
Nuts
Score: [-] 162 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by cheeselog1234:
celebrities are played out. unless you plan on writing d-list celebs who would probably orgasm at the sight of fan mail.
Score: [-] 94 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by smarty1052:
« xiatethebish : You seem like a guy who would get them a lot. ;] you love me, lol... oh yea, can you bring another roll of film out to my car I seem to have left my extras back in Michigan.. and if you have a spare laptop battery that would help ;-)
Score: [-] 18 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by MUPPETMAKER:
This may possibly be the funniest writing campaigns to a company ever...
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to
continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a
species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply
pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and
splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one
immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are
tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I
have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive
long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern
candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is
misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost
invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare
occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the
species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the
strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat
this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it
to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ
17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use
this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon
for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this
"grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand
tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the
True Champion.
There can be only one.
Score: [-] 159 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by leehblanc:
Okay, my letter is coming along nicely. I just need a couple of things. If anyone can PM me with the overall size of a "typical" Pringles can (you know, the one that is approx 10") and the TOTAL height of one crisp, oriented as packed in the can (I'm thinking this is around 1"-1.5") I would appreciate it.
Score: [-] 37 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by doggylives:
« leehblanc : Okay, my letter is coming along nicely. I just need a couple of things. If anyone can PM me with the overall size of a "typical" Pringles can (you know, the one that is approx 10") and the TOTAL height of one crisp, oriented as packed in the can (I'm thinking this is around 1"-1.5") I would appreciate it. Typical Pringles can/container:
3.1 x 3.1 x 9.2 inches
Score: [-] 0 [+].
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