I'm sure there are several other Plimates out there who've kept diaries. Our recent diaries are never as fun as the old ones, though.

I just stumbled across a few of my old ones. I kept them in sketchpads, some of my "entries" are drawings, while others are poems or just plain, ol' writing.

As I read through parts, I still felt myself cringe through some of the more awkward moments, while others make me laugh now (at the time, I thought I'd never be able to look back and laugh... does this mean I'm getting old?).

Anyway, I'm willing to share a few of my old entries if anyone else wants to join......

I never kept things in chronological order. I'd open to an empty page and start writing/drawing, as I still do now.
*I tried to replicate emphasis as well as spelling errors*

Dear Ducky (this was my diary's name at the time),
Today is may 10 1995. I hate dumb trevor. Evil Ms. Moret made me work with him on bookre port and he stinks and just tries to pull jackie's hair and I want to read my book but he can't read. At least I don't have to work with retarded graam. Jenny and I think he's retarded but ryan says no.


September 13 1994
Amy eats chapstick.


14 July 1993

I hate my brothers and shawn and kevin and all boys I want them to go away and never come back. I hate how mom gives them icecream but not for me because there isn't any because the boys ate it all. I HATE BOYS!!!!!!!! !




January 04 1996
I don't have a name for you, new dairy. I got lego for christmas but Ben ate a piece already. (scribble of stormcloud) I don't want to go back to school. It's -42 outside. I have pink mittens.



November 7 1994
Dear Ducky,
I have a crush on Tyler but I think I'm too nerd to him to talk to me. I don't understand ------------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> (picture of banana) why are smart girls nerds and smart boys cool? Dana and her meanies are so mean. I want to grow up and be done school and go to science school.

The only diary/journal I can remember ever having was the one we were required to keep in grade 1. There is only one entry that sticks in my head because my mom stumbled across this journal a couple of years ago. Boy did it bring back memories.

-can't remember date

Today I got in trouble for throwing paper wads at Shannon. I was told to sit in the hall. Ms. McGee came oot to talk to me and asked if I knew that what I was doing was wrong. She knelt in front of me when she was talking. I looked down her shirt. Her boobies have freckles.

(Ninja Turtle drawing)

Okay, so I looked through a whole bunch of my old journal entries (since I've been keeping a journal since the age of 13) and can't believe how much of an angry whiney b***h I was. It's kind of funny. I'm going to try and make it just like I wrote it in my journal.



10/25/05

Tuesday 3:26 PM

Dear Journal,
So much has happened since I last wrote to you. I told Leslie how I feel about her. Nothing happened. She didn't want to break up with her boyfriend. Why? I have no clue. I've fallen out of love with Leslie anyway. Now, I'm having feelings for Leslie's friend, Verlene. She is so beautiful, and she's on the newspaper with me. It's like WTF? I asked her to homecoming, and she said yes. Yay! I have a job @ Burger King now, so I paid (or am going to) for both tickets. I haven't paid yet, because of Hurricane Wilma. Category f**king 3. We have no power. We can't use the water from the faucet (not to wash our eyes or brush our teeth, anyway). There is no school for the rest of the week. F**k. F**king weather. No TV, no PlayStation 2, I can't even use my GBA, because I gave it to Eric (stupid me). This is boring as hell. No computer. No internet porn! lol ;) <--boredom? See what this s**t does to you? Geez, it sucks ass. F**k! I hate this f**king s**t! AAAAAAH!

-Jeremy
17 years old


P.S. F**K!!!

Yes, that would've been a great way to avoid boredom.
You were a smart kid Jerry.

Was?

: P

I do have a sketch book around somewhere that I put a few entries in, but I have no clue where it is. For the most part, I kept all of that stuff on my computers, and it's all gone now. Now that I think about it, I did really good, I kept all of it until I had a total hard drive failure about 3 years ago.

I did do something odd with my journal once (since it was on my computer, a printed copy). I decided to send it with a Christmas present to my cousin when I was about 13. I don't really know what I felt motivated to do that.

About 4 1/2 years ago, a few days before my late partner, Peter, passed away, one of my friends suggested that I write down one sentence every day about something I liked. Only one sentence and had to be positive.

Here's my second entry:

12/24/03

I liked teaching Svetlana new words today - "shed" and "nativity". She called me teacher.

I kept it up for over two years. It was very healing during a bad bad time for me.

I hate to be a thread killer....anyone else want to share?

I was gonna go Home and get my older journals, but that apparently won't be happening. First entry in my most recent journal:

June 13, 2007:

Tips for guys hitting on me in the bus
* Don't refer to other women, particularly your ex-girlfriend, as "this chick"
* Don't talk about yourself just to talk about yourself; say things that are relevant
* If I don't appear interested, chances are, I'm not. Quit while you're ahead.
* Don't ask me questions only when you need another steppingstone to talk about yourself. Ask questions because you're genuinely interested.
* Don't keep blabbering about 'coincidences.' They aren't.
* Don't try to impress me with all the people that you know and that know you. I don't care. If a woman does care, she isn't really interested in you, she's interested in yusing you to meet those people.
* I can see you checking me out. Quit it — it's creepy. At least pretend to have some decency!

It's late, I'm feeling lonely, and I can't sleep. So I'm adding to this thread. I hope I don't regret it in the morning.

Some self-analysis for you; All questions are rhetorical, thanks:

June 27, 2007

You are always calling me crazy. "Crazy [lynx]," you say with a chuckle and a grin.
— Oh, don't worry, it isn't *just* you. Almost everybody does. It's just that, recently, I've started to wonder why. I understand that it is because I can be silly, sometimes, but I only have a general understanding of the reasons.
Every time I ask, of course, people just chuckle and shake their heads, as if questioning it is just further proof of the craziness.
But what about me is 'crazy' or lends itself to being called 'crazy?'
I can only postulate based on my own observations of the times people have said this to me.
*Silliness, as I've said before. Any time I say something...irreverent, perhaps, or simply childish; feigning/pretending to be something I am not. The problem here is that these things, while sometimes intentionally whimsical, are generally completely earnest on my part. I really am meaning whatever I am saying.
Does this mean that people, if they really truly knew me, would think me crazy?
I don't know. This is one of those times I wish I could read minds.

*Child-like. A slight differentiation. These are actions that are silly. Spinning around, dancing with happiness, playing. This is often 'crazy.' But why? Why is it crazy for me to still be in touch with my childhood sense of fun? Should I have sloughed it completely?
The odd thing here is that many of my companions act similarly, if not often, at least some of the time. Are they condemning this part of themselves as well?
Now, I acknowledge that my friends don't call me 'crazy' out of cruelty but out of humor.
This doesn't stop it, however, from coming from a root of disapproval, I believe.

*Analyzing - On reflection, the very act of thinking about this question this way might mark me as 'crazy.' Most people evidently don't self-analyze to this point. They just accept things and move on. I don't understand that. I want to know, to understand. Particularly because I write this in a rather detached manner, it might seem like a farce. Another reason to question me, I suppose.

But if these are things that get me marked as 'crazy,' I don't know how to *not be* them. Sure, I can be serious and quiet for awhile, but it would kill me socially and it makes me sad. I feel better when I can express myself the way I am. Is there something I can do, I wonder, to get people to be happy with me the way I am?
Not that they don't love me - they just love *their version* of me.

...Followed by a sketch of the obscenely fat man sitting across from me on the bus.