If the Super Bowl was really for football fans, every year's halftime show would be the same: John Cougar Mellencamp, Bruce Sprinsteen or Kid Rock covering songs from Bon Jovi's Slippery When Wet as an attractive woman blows up household furniture with M-80s. In actuality, the Super Bowl is the Jerry Maguire of television events, pretending to be about football while catering to people who think a first down is something you pull off a baby goose. This year's show will feature Tom Petty, Paula Abdul and hopefully a few other things that were cool in the early '90s and now make us sad. But if you think this is the strangest lineup, you obviously don't remember ... picked by MasterPiece 10 months ago