Comments: 21 Score: [-] 1065 [+].
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Posted: 5 months ago by lynxears:
Wow. Alcohol and sex seems to make for really really awful texts.
Score: [-] 177 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by suebe:
dammit. Now I'll never get any work done.
Score: [-] 95 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by soreen:
for the love of god, I hope I'm not in there..
Score: [-] 156 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by Moe:
(650): I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Score: [-] 146 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by beckinacea:
Added to the list. :)
Score: [-] 40 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by Moe:
We have a winner:
(269): After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Score: [-] 130 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by Moe:
Oh damn...wait...this is actually better:
(401): This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Score: [-] 222 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by icepigs:
This one made me laugh:
(970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
(303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Score: [-] 201 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by maven:
I think I can safely say my bits have never been discussed via text.
I feel slightly smug now.
Edit to add:
(734): I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
*giggles*
Score: [-] 131 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by WeeBeastie:
(575): This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Score: [-] 112 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by bunnysutra:
« icepigs : This one made me laugh:
(970): I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
(303): Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick. Colorado people are awesome witty! ha!
Score: [-] 60 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by keroberos32:
(918): After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
"..."
Score: [-] 196 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by DaftGretel:
(847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Score: [-] 183 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by deedlezx:
man i wish i could text.
Score: [-] 0 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by alton:
I gotta stop reading these in front of my mom and brother. They keep asking what I'm laughing at, and there's really no easy way to explain.
Score: [-] 75 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by Moe:
(480): I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Score: [-] 57 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by titojuante:
A few that made me laugh.
(212): i want you now
(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
-
(305): considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my d**k (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
-
(352): I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
(904): You stay classy.
(352): The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
-
(727): My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Score: [-] 115 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by shillelagh:
I have just wasted two plus hours reading these texts... I feel so dirty...
Score: [-] 19 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by xiatethebish:
« titojuante :
(352): I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
(904): You stay classy.
(352): The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Great, 352, my area code. >_<
Score: [-] 83 [+].
Posted: 5 months ago by alton:
« xiatethebish:Great, 352, my area code. >_< So what did you end up doing with those boxers, anyway?
:D
Score: [-] 32 [+].
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