Thank you Kero, it's now my bio :)

I'm still waiting on my prize, good sir.

Yes...I'm tired of mine.

Her mother was the midwest's only female juggler and her father a rich investment banker from Manhatten. Their marriage was secret. And so was Suebe's birth. Raised by elephant handlers in a traveling circus, Suebe would come to learn the finer points of sword swallowing and contortionism. Taxed by the years in the circus, Suebe settled down and learned to crochet. She currently lives in an abandoned Taco Hut creating a large crocheted map of her travels.

Suebe was born into her family young, hairless, and kinda wet. After a few years, she had developed the skills to walk, talk, and eat. Occasionally she used the bathroom. Curiously short, Suebe soon joined a traveling actors troupe that only preformed 'The Wizard of Oz.' Starting out playing Munchkin #3, she soon worked her way up to playing a ballerina Munchkin with a featured dance number.

After seven years of playing the ballerina, one night during sleep she mysteriously grew 15 inches. Now at a normal height Suebe enjoys reaching the Saltines on the top shelf at the grocery store, painting ceilings, and of course, brushing her hair, an feat she was incapable of doing because she was to short to reach the top of her head.

She has recently moved to Africa, to live with the pygmies, where she is held in Goddess status for her incredible beauty and height. She bestows her people with top shelf Saltines and brushes their hair.

Can someone make one for me, please? :)

Now changed. I feel like I'm born anew!

Xiatethebish was born into royalty. In her native tongue her name means, "I am a wealthy princess and you must revere me or my daddy will have you beheaded." Despite her name she had trouble making friends, and those she did have often mysteriously left the kingdom, never to be seen again, after disagreements with her. Her father, the heir to the throne, had many wives, livestock, fields, orchards, and strangely enough penguins. After a revolt, though, her entire family was executed and she was the only one to escape. She now resides in Florida and waits for her homeland to repent and return her to her rightful place on the throne.

I want one!

Do me, do me...

Don't you have a basement full of girlscouts for that?


OK, Blue, gimme your best shot.

(Shhhh, they'll hear you.)

Mr P has lived a long and hard life. Coming to America as a Canadian exile, Mr P fought bears in a freak side show for a living until a bear accidentally ripped off one of his testicles. Moving out of Maine, and away from the testicle hungry bear, Mr P began training monkeys to wear ties and smoke cigars. After five months of intense training, Mr P managed to assemble a group of 16 monkeys, who all wore their own color tie, and smoked Cigars like there was no tomorrow.

The monkey troupe called themselves 'One Horny Monkey and 15 Registered Voters' and began touring the east coast. Mistaking a condom for chewing gun, one monkey got polio, and ended up, due to the high sexy drive of this one horny monkey, spread the disease to all other 15 Monkeys, placing them in wheel chairs for the rest of their days.

Sullied by this tragic event, Mr P decided to live out his life as a husband, butcher, and avid yodeler.

The P stands for Paradox. Figure that out.

I gots me a brand spankin new bio!

Bornbad wasn't actually born. A pidgeon s**t on a rock and a few months later the sun hatched him.

Shortly after his hatching he began working at a Grocery store, stocking shelves, and learning our language. One day he stumbled into a thrift store and found his true love, a 84 year old typewriter he aptly named 'Betty'

After piecing together his memoir on Betty, he submitted it to a publisher, and soon found himself in the guest seat of Jay Leno. Where he met the second true love of his life. A chain smoking stage hand named 'Trisha.' After a night of hot sex, Trisha became pregnant and nine months later gave birth to sextuplets.

Being strict yet caring, he parented his children and created a family band, much like the Partridge family, but with more fireworks. They now ride around in a van with a giant Vagina painted on it's hood.

Bornbad was born in the usual way. He attended school and met all of his developmental milestones within normal parameters. In high school he was an avid basketball player and enjoyed chemistry. As a graduation present he received a Chemistry Set™. Bornbad quickly became very adept at mixing various common chemicals in precise quantities to create new, and dangerous, substances. One day one of his "potions" became self aware and created a telepathic bond with him. Little by little Bornbad became more introverted claiming that Sidney (for that is what it claimed its name was) required his attention. Things were beginning to unravel in his life. Finally things came to a head, no pun intended, when Bornbad stole his neighbors drill and drilled a hole in the back of his skull. He was found in his room with the back of his head pressed against the jar he had kept Sidney in. He was rushed to the hospital but before the ambulance arrived he awoke, with no evidence at all that there had ever been a 1/2 inch hole freshly drilled into his head. After this Bornbad lost interest in basketball and chemistry and is now known world wide for his skill in embroidery and for his faithful support of the girl scouts.

Bahahahaha
I love it.
Thank you!

I can has biahgrahfy?

I want one :-(

This thread, dear Mr. Smarty, is not the right place for you. No work of fiction could top your real life. :D