granted these numbers are from the 2000 census but...


There are about 5.5 million single mothers in the US raising 1 or more children. I'm not willing to accept the argument that there are that many whacked out little hoodlums running around!

Attention seeking behavior in children has nothing to do with the number of parental units present. It also has nothing to do with the surroundings in which the child was raised. Excellent day care produces children with little or no more attention seeking behavior than those watched at home. The reason I stay at home with our kids, is that we couldn't afford that kind of day care. We could only afford the kind where children are fed, cleaned, kept from poisoning, drowning, and electrecuting themselves. I was in 3 of these daycares as a child and one that was (rarely found) quality despite the price. I'm an only child so I doubt that my lack of quality daycare had anything to do with my attention seeking behavior or lack there of. Additionally I decided to stay home because my oldest son has a learning disability. I knew that even with the best care, he would not recieve the attention he would need to catch up. He is now in first grade, and tearing up the class. Yesterday he got all down on himself for getting a 99 on a reading unit test. That kind of drive you can not teach or nurture, that is all him, and I hope he always has it.

Maybe it's because my wife is a pediatric nurse practitioner who works in an emergency room and has had to take courses in child psychology.

Maybe it's because 7 of her cousins (she's Irish, her family is HUGE) are psychologists and 4 of those are child psychologists in and around the Newark NJ area.

Maybe it's because my sister-in-law is a psychologist.

Maybe it's because I've actually talked about these issues with them as we watch our kids play together every summer in Maine.

Nah. Let's just base our argument on anecdotal evidence and not bother to actually talk to professionals about the matter.

I completely agree. It's quality that matters, not quantity.

One caring parent can raise a child better than two indifferent ones. Some of the wildest, most attention-seeking kids I went to school with came from homes with two parents, but both parents worked full-time and chose to spend their evenings "unwinding" in front of the TV instead of spending time with their kidlings.

I'm not rebutting you in anyway but...

Clinicians see people who have problems, no one goes to a shrink if their life is good. I think seeing these cases day in and out can lead to a distorted outlook. Statistically your opinion may hold water in a certain geographical and socio-economic strata.

Have I mentioned what I do for a living?

And speaking of anecdotal evidence, I'd love to have a peek at those statistics you keep referencing.

These are my sources:

Maybe it's because my wife is a pediatric nurse practitioner who works in an emergency room and has had to take courses in child psychology.

Maybe it's because 7 of her cousins (she's Irish, her family is HUGE) are psychologists and 4 of those are child psychologists in and around the Newark NJ area.

Maybe it's because my sister-in-law is a psychologist.

Maybe it's because I've actually talked about these issues with them as we watch our kids play together every summer in Maine.

I'm not sure how I'd give you a peek at that without a huge logistical effort.

I think something that is being overlooked is that we are seeing the first generation of kids who have been raised by kids. How many people did you know in high school who got pregnant? I had 5 friends who ended up pregnant before they graduated. Now we have even younger children having babies thinking it is cool to be pregnant and have a baby. What they don't think it about is, that in 10 years the baby will be on the verge of becoming a teenager themselves, and they(the "parent")will be 25 or perhaps younger. I was 27 before I had my first child. It is a serious business raising children. They are not an accessory--which I feel is how they often viewed by some people--and to raise a child requires maturity and an actual scope of the reality of being a parent. A 15 year old doesn't see that.

Now that isn't saying there are not bad parents out there, because obviously there are. Whether they are single parents or married or partners or whatever.

The whole thing is disturbing.

Crap, I got a phone call and forgot to answer this part.

My answer:

Dress up like a rabbit and use WAYYY too much ketchup?

;-)

I think the answer to the question of the thread is 1. One messed up parent can mess up all the kids under said parent's control.
Now what is the chance that a parent is messed up. Lets say "p" for man and "q" for woman.
What is the chance there will be at least one messed up parent in a 2 parent family:
1-(1-p)(1-q)=p+q-pq
Is this smaller or larger than max(p,q)?
since p>pq
therefore p+q-pq>q
similarly q>pq
therefore p+q-pq>p
Hence p+q-pq>max(p,q)

So we can safely say the chance that a kid gets messed up is higher if the kid has two active parents.
Muwhahaha....

Let me repeat myself: Slightly NSFW

???
Where have you seen this?
I have seen only day cares from bad to terrible.
for example I have categorized for myself Montessori as bad, Kids R Kids as terrible, etc...

BELIEVE me if you have the money in my area...you can get AWESOME daycare.




Gilman also has a pre-first program and the Waldorf School (while kinda loosey goosey) has a great reputation in Baltimore.

Where I grew up there was a Pre-K that now offers a full day program for 4 year olds that is 10,792/year. Quality care is out there....if you can afford it.

Awesome. That just made my day!

Are you an engineer by any chance, though?

Nein!
What else could I answer on a Friday like this?
The closest thing I ever did to engineering was when I worked (3 years long) in a botanical research institute as a mathematician.

Montessori is bad? I studied the montessori method in college and thought it was awesome. Did you or a child have a bad experience in one?

I'm going to have to agree with vexingmodstwo, to a point.

I was listening to an NPR bit about this, just the other day, and I've been looking for it on their website ever since bb made this thread, but I haven't found it yet.

They stated, statistically, children from a two parent household have a greater chance of success, especially when one of the parents stay at home. I think the story was more about there being less amount of families that have one parent at home, but they touched on other aspects.

That doesn't mean single mothers or fathers can't raise great children. Many do, but statistically, kids have better chances with two parents, especially if one stays at home.

I don't agree with his assessment of this particular girl though. The only thing I got from that video is that she's probably crazier than a bedbug. Most well balanced people don't repeat statements like "I'm gonna file a complaint", over and over and over again. Her craziness could be a result of many different things.

Go to a Montessori and see how many of their teachers are qualified to teach there. In a good case they have some actual teachers, with maybe one of them certified as a Montessori teacher, but most of them are not. Maybe not even childcare professionals.

The question is how do these schools become Montessori schools? I think they work the system.
This might be better at stabilized older settlements, but the city I live in grows like crazy. There is not enough professional. My experiences might be biased by this situation.

Indeed. I'd be interested to know what started this incident. She's obviously on the defensive the entire time, and is threatened and intimidated by the old woman (who, incidentally, reacted wonderfully by completely ignoring her). I would think the "rapping" is something of a coping strategy, and was also encouraged to some degree by the other passengers. But I think you'd have to talk to her to uncover factors that motivated her distress.

shame on you blur for leading people astray

friends, gilman, roland park...these aren't "day cares" in the traditional sense