The Gentleman's Guide to Dressing -- Because you obviously need help

• DO NOT wear anything associated with the "gangsta" or "ghetto" image. This includes flat-billed hats, oversized shirts, "bling", entire outfits in one color, and baggy pants worn at the knees. Unless, of course, your sole aspiration in life is to emulate a talent-less, drug-addicted womanizer. In which case, please dress like this so that your clothing can serve as a blazing signpost and warn the rest of us away from you.
  
  
• DO NOT wear a cowboy hat or boots, unless you actually live and/or work on a livestock ranch. In any other circumstance, you look horribly tacky. This also includes western-cut shirts. Think of these clothes as work clothes only.
  
  
• Sweat pants are the least flattering article of clothing you could put on your body. DO NOT wear them outside of the gym. And no, tucking in a nice tee and putting on nice shoes does not make your ratty old sweat pants acceptable. Take them off and burn them.
  
  
  Don't:
  
  
• Don't wear wildly colored and patterned shirts and pants, unless you enjoy looking like a clown.
  
  
• Don't wear a black belt with brown shoes. Contrary to popular belief, a man's belt, shoes, and pants all must be of complementary hue. Black belt, gray to black pants, black socks, black shoes. Brown belt, olive, navy, tan pants, brown socks, brown shoes. I can't stress this enough.
  
  
• Don't wear a tie with jeans. Denim is appropriate only in a leisure setting. And no, I don't care how much you paid for them. If you think you should wear a tie, you should at minimum be wearing khakis. Dress slacks are even better.
  
  
• Don't wear sneakers with dress clothing. This also includes crocks and sandals. I don't care what brand they are, they do not qualify as dress shoes. Do not wear them as if they were. Sneakers and the like are only acceptable footwear with jeans.
  
  
• Please Don't wear socks with sandals. The sandal was meant to cover the sole of your foot only. Wearing socks with them is just ignorant. I was hoping I wouldn't have to touch on this, but of late I've noticed it happening an alarming amount. Shame on society.
  
  
• Don't wear a cap with a tie. Hats and caps should be worn with jeans only, with few exceptions. Baseball caps do not qualify. Never wear a cap with dress clothing. In fact, it's technically considered impolite to wear a hat indoors or while eating, and you look better without one. So strongly consider ditching it altogether.
  
  
• Don't wear work boots unless you're working. Same goes for hiking boots.
  
  
• Don't buy it just because you think it will make you look like a celebrity. Remember, celebrities tend to be people with a lot more money than taste.
  
  
  Do:
  
  
• Do size your clothing correctly. You will look and feel your best if your clothes fit properly. If you need help, most clothing stores will take your measurements.
  
  
• Do put some thought into dressing. Again, you will look and feel your best when you've put some care into your appearance.
  
  
• Do dress appropriately for the occasion. If you're unsure, overdress. You can always shed the coat and tie.
  
  
• Do color-coordinate your clothing. It's not that difficult. (Note, this does not include wearing all one color. Please see the first entry in the "Extreme DO NOT" list) Also, I know this may be a shock to some of you, but black isn't the only color. Try a few on, you'll be surprised.
  
  
• Do iron or have your clothes pressed. You'll be amazed at the difference.
  
  
• Do take care of your clothes. Hang them up or fold them carefully. Get rid of them as soon as they begin to look warn and frayed.
  

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