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Posted: 3 months ago by ReBoot:
Lately, I've heard a lot of complaining about the marked increase in "Drama" that Plime seems to have experienced lately.
Now, I realize that with this many people from all walks of life in one place, there is going to be friction. That's natural. What's not natural is the expectation that some of us have that we can just plug our ears and hum and the conflicts will all go away. They won't.
The common response to "Drama" is a downvote. "Keep it out of the forums," we say. "Can't we all just get along? Be mature." We're also quick to label heated debate as the dreaded D-word, and so squelch an important aspect of the site.
My friends, it's time for us to recognize the fact that this response isn't working. The tensions continue. The malicious downvoting continues. The whining continues. We need something more substantive.
Again, let me reiterate: The canned "Be Mature" speech isn't working. If it were, the amount of drama we experience would decrease every time it's repeated. This is decidedly not the case.
I would like to hear some constructive ideas for dealing with User Issues. If we can create and follow a clearly defined conflict mediation protocol, I'm confident that 95% of the stuff we label "Drama" will disappear completely.
Suggestions?
Score: [-] 225 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by unzercharlie:
Firing squad.
Score: [-] 54 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by vexingmodstwo:
Wait... so are you asking for suggestions on how to eliminate drama or the drama caused by trying to eliminate drama?
Score: [-] 172 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by Nunkii:
« unzercharlie : Firing squad. Agreed.
Score: [-] 0 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by unzercharlie:
The universal anti drama solution is to learn to live with the fact that you will be downvoted, and speak your mind. If you want to argue/debate/discuss anything with anyone, you better expect to receive votes, up and down, for that action. I'm almost just as tired of the "hey let's all hold hands" attitude. This is the internet, you don't have to like everyone, and not everyone is going to agree with you.
Now, stop crying about it.
Score: [-] 212 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by DORK:
If you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen. (in regards to heated discussions)
Score: [-] 130 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by ReBoot:
« vexingmodstwo : Wait... so are you asking for suggestions on how to eliminate drama or the drama caused by trying to eliminate drama? Right.
The way I see it, drama is the result of users dealing with conflict in an immature way. They often feel that they have no other recourse than to create a thread, make offensive comments, send harassing PM's, or start a downvote war. The trouble is, we currently offer nothing more than a poorly defined and enforced "Do Not" list.
We need more than that. We need solutions. We need a protocol. Designated mediators, perhaps. Someone or somewhere to turn to when you feel that you're being wronged by another member.
Score: [-] 151 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by unzercharlie:
« ReBoot :
We need more than that. We need solutions. We need a protocol. Designated mediators, perhaps. Someone or somewhere to turn to when you feel that you're being wronged by another member. If you're wronged by another member, work it out with them, if they're not interested in working it out, suck it up.
Score: [-] 102 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by ReBoot:
« unzercharlie : If you're wronged by another member, work it out with them, if they're not interested in working it out, suck it up. Ok.
I've heard a lot of complaining about drama, and I've seen a lot of it. I was just interested in finding a substantive solution. But if we'd all rather plug our ears and hum, that's fine with me.
Score: [-] 45 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by vexingmodstwo:
Is it wrong for me to actually enjoy the drama a little?
Score: [-] 69 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by unzercharlie:
« ReBoot : Ok.
I've heard a lot of complaining about drama, and I've seen a lot of it. I was just interested in finding a substantive solution. But if we'd all rather plug our ears and hum, that's fine with me. Who's plugging their ears and humming? What do you want to do form a conflict resolution committee? Who wants to listen to someone who can't work out their own problem whine about how so and so did such and such?
Score: [-] 15 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by SkandarGraun:
I love you. Believe me: it hurts me more than you to downvote your comment. You see, I care about you enough to vote on your b s post. Your personal improvement is important to me. I prune your way into oblivion enlightenment.
Score: [-] 137 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by ReBoot:
« unzercharlie : What do you want to do form a conflict resolution committee? Would that really be such a bad thing?
Who wants to listen to someone who can't work out their own problem whine about how so and so did such and such?
Well we listen to it now, so what's the difference?
Score: [-] 62 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by Jerry520:
« ReBoot : Right.
The way I see it, drama is the result of users dealing with conflict in an immature way. They often feel that they have no other recourse than to create a thread, make offensive comments, send harassing PM's, or start a downvote war. The trouble is, we currently offer nothing more than a poorly defined and enforced "Do Not" list.
We need more than that. We need solutions. We need a protocol. Designated mediators, perhaps. Someone or somewhere to turn to when you feel that you're being wronged by another member. If need be, I'll volunteer to be a mediator. Plugging our ears and humming has gotten us nowhere, so I'll be willing to help as much as I can.
Score: [-] 95 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by suckersklub:
« Jerry520 : If need be, I'll volunteer to be a mediator. Plugging our ears and humming has gotten us nowhere, so I'll be willing to help as much as I can. If he's made a mediator, I'll volunteer, too.
Score: [-] 108 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by Chez:
« Jerry520 : If need be, I'll volunteer to be a mediator. Plugging our ears and humming has gotten us nowhere, so I'll be willing to help as much as I can. Well, if that's not incentive to avoid drama, I don't know what is!
I KEED I KEED!
Score: [-] 398 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by badbud:
« Chez : Well, if that's not incentive to avoid drama, I don't know what is!
srsly
Score: [-] 91 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by jhordie:
My name is Jhordie and I'm seeing a Plime therapist.
ahahahahahahaha
oh sorry
People have issues. They should be allowed to vent and debate without being labeled drama just because it makes someone else uncomfortable. If the thread makes you uncomfortable, leave and go to another thread.
The only thing I don't like is trolldom.
And we all know the way to get rid of trolls is to not feed them.
That goes for nasty PMs as well. If someone receives one and feels the person is just being a jerk, ignore the message. Don't feed it.
As for downvotes, that's another lesson that's learned in life. Don't take s**t personal. Yes, it stings a little, but it's not the end of the world.
Score: [-] 81 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by Moe:
No one will take a mediator seriously. Other than pledging to not get caught up in it, the only other thing I can see possible is to pledge that I will downvote any thread that goes there, and if it goes negative, it is gone for good.
But then you get into whether or not I thought it was "drama" and you didn't.
At this point, I pledge to not even read such threads if I feel it is going there. That way I won't see it, so I won't be able to get pissed at it, so I won't post about it.
Score: [-] 136 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by Moe:
And I mean it too!
Score: [-] 42 [+].
Posted: 3 months ago by bingo:
« jhordie : People have issues. They should be allowed to vent and debate without being labeled drama just because it makes someone else uncomfortable. If the thread makes you uncomfortable, leave and go to another thread.
The only thing I don't like is trolldom.
And we all know the way to get rid of trolls is to not feed them.
That goes for nasty PMs as well. If someone receives one and feels the person is just being a jerk, ignore the message. Don't feed it.
As for downvotes, that's another lesson that's learned in life. Don't take s**t personal. Yes, it stings a little, but it's not the end of the world. I agree with this.
While I really commend Reboot for trying to find a solution, I really don't think there is one.
People will start threads when they feel wronged. Some of us will ignore it, some will scorn and downvote it, and some will try to make the person feel better. For the most part, I think they get it out of their system, feeling better for having brought it out, and move on. It falls down the pages and that is that.
If these threads really bother you, stay out of them and let the person get it out of their system. Let them vent. Is it hurting you? It isn't hurting me and they feel better.
Done deal.
Score: [-] 118 [+].
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