Dear Unknown a*****e,
I wished that you would return my mail so the F*****G credit people dont come knockin..you B***H made me late late on 2 payments..theres goes my 800 credit rating....So when the mail comes to your address plz slip it in the mail back to me..
Mr. postamn your a B***H too...dammmit cant you read the theres a difference between North & South address's!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How bout this one right here from a different point of view. Gonna blow your mind!

Dear unknown a*****e,
Yeah, I hit your shiny new car. So what? F**k you. I'm only writing this note so the people who saw it happen think I'm a good guy leaving you my phone number and insurance info. Hope this doesn't cost you too much. Sucker.
Sincerely,
Fellow a*****e

dear delivery truck:

i understand your need to make your deliveries on time. i understand that the mail truck, that stops in the road to stuff bills and junkmail into people's mailboxes, made you swerve into the opposite traffic lane. but i don't understand why you didn't stop first to watch for oncoming traffic before doing so, especially since you and the mail truck was on the top of a hill, as well as at the end of a curve. i was approaching you in the opposite lane - if i never saw you first and slowed down some, i'd have easily hit your trailer. since i was on a scooter at the time, the crash would have easily caused me permanent disability, and likely to have killed me.

please don't do that again.

dear various automobile drivers:

please stop tailgating me. not only does it fail to make my scooter magically go faster than the engine is capable of going, it increases the chances of you causing an accident, and puts my life in danger. besides, i don't go on roads with speed limits that are higher than the top speed of my scooter, which is 40 miles per hour.

please stop that.

dear unknown a*****e...
if you spritz yourself with cologn/perfume or you try out some new lipstick ((especially this one)) be sure to use the tester and ONLY the tester. when you use the new bottle/stick and you don't buy it, you are screwing over the next poor sap who isn't the wiser. yeah! don't think others don't notice this.

In high school you (mr. unknown a$$hole) stole my relatively new 30 gig I-pod out of my backpack, the one single time I put it in the side mesh pocket of my backpack relatively absentmindedly. I would still have that today you wanker......

I think its one of those silly macho things, honestly I do whichever I feel like doing....I disposed of silly manly ideals quite a while ago.

You stole my keys, you jerk. All of them. WHY??? I WANT THEM BACK!!!!!!!!

Hopefully they don't know where to use them.....

Doubt it. I was in another town when they took 'em. Bloody hell.

dear a*****e

i hope that you got god use out of my car five years ago when you stole it. it was never found or nothing and the state police siad it was prolly taken down to Ca to shuttle illegals over tha border. i bet you werent too happy when you figured the ac was busted lol.

but yea it really screwed me over i needed that car and prolly didnt get a really good job i was looking at beacause of it.

so really i hope you crashed it into the pacific and were never heard from agian lol

I wish I could get god use oot of something. It sounds awesome!

ah dude im sorry i meant good use i guess. you prolly can tell im not much for spelling and stuff lol

and they'll call you on it every time.

Or punctuation. Or capitalization.

Dear Unknown a*****es at CASTA/ACSTAS WHATEVER,

I've been flying quite a bit lately, often through airports where I go through your security.

I'd just like you to know that I've had a roll of packing tape with a sharp blade in the side pouch of my computer bag for almost two months now, and you've never found it. I also just found a small pocket knife in another pouch, which I remember putting there back in the winter. I won't even mention the small bottle of HCl I snuck this time, because I was so confident you wouldn't find it.

So if you don't care that I have a sharp knife or tape and a sharp blade or some freaking ACID, why the hell did you have to confiscate my lip gloss, just because it wasn't in a plastic baggy??

Are you all required to fail IQ tests in order to work as airport security??

Dear Unknown Asshole:

Stop going through all of the boxes of Butterfingers, Caramellos, etc. and breaking the candy bars into pieces. If I wanted a package of little candies I would buy Smarties or M&M's or Reese's Pieces. Dickweed!

Dear Unknown a*****e,

I realize that my wife should never have sent a $3000 money order through the mail without having it registered. That was a mistake. But the fact that it wasn't registered did not give you the right to pocket it, deny that you ever received it, and bill me for another $3000. Yeah, maybe I made a mistake, but we both know that you're the a*****e in all of this. So I suggest you hang on to that $3000, Mr. Unknown a*****e. Because as soon as I find you, you're going to need it to cover your hospital expenses.

Dear Unknown Arsehole:
I love you, and all the wonderful thing you have done for me!

Hopefully, by the time you find UA, you will have thought of clever ways to make UA's life incredibly difficult without resorting to the possibilities of ending up in jail and actually having UA making your life even more miserable. You're too smart a guy for that reboot.

I love you too, buddy. You deserve it. *thumbs up*