I am SO There...

The grill and the pool will be waiting.

I'll expect to see a Silverback Gorilla Butler there, mister...

The Man Rules



We always hear

'the rules'
From the female side

Now here are the rules from the male side


Please note... they are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!







1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail, and witchcraft.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. ; We have NO idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.


1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

I see now why you are single.

Hey, I've been married twice. Practice makes perfect. Good to hear from you tonight. How's things. I have my boyz over for the weekend. It's 105 degrees here. How warm is Seattle?

No where that hot. It got up to 80 I think, it's only 65 now.

Poor bebe...We hit 75 today, but the marine layer just rolled in and it's 54 now. Need to close the windows before the house drops too far.

Say hiya to the boys!

It was nice here until 8 AM, then temps went up to 92 and terribly humid, stayed that way until sundown. For once, I'd like to have all the humidity at night, when I don't have to be out in it.

Would that be in late January? I volunteer to make grapefruit juice for everybody.

Hmm no I think that we should meet in the summer. Yes, I know, its hot. It was about 106 today and 108 yesterday. BUT:

1. Pool. You cannot swim in January
2. AC. You'll be inside a lot anyways.
3. I am still drinking fresh juice now, so no sweat there. I'll save you the spot in front of the juicer.
4. If you're going to go to all the trouble of coming to Arizona, at least EXPERIENCE the damned place already. That means the baking heat. Which leads to:
5. One word: Car cookies - they can only be made in July or August
6. A nice frosty one tastes SO much better when it is 112 outside

And yes...I am totally serious about this. You folks want to come, I am all for it. But we only have enough sleeping space for a very few people, so that will be on a first bribed, first served basis. The rest of you lot will have to camp out back or get a hotel.

Put me #1 on the list :)

Well actually, Maven and Kero both mentioned their pending arrival prior to you, so that would put you at #3. But hey, #3 is a pretty good spot too.

There will be a virtual BAND of them. All in matching dyed fur I might add.

Hhhmmpphh!!

fine!

:P

I just saw a cute saying on another website. Yes I know...there are other websites...yes...I know. I know. Anyways, here is the cute saying:

Some people use a parachute when they fall in love.
Others just go Splat!

Farah Fawcett will be buried this Tues. at

"The Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels"


that is all.

Heidi Fleiss is marrying Dennis Hof (owner of the Moonlight Bunny Ranch)

Hardly front page worthy, but I wanted to post it because this image proves that Michael Jackson faked his own death and is impersonating Heidi Fleiss. I hope Hof knows who he really marrying

She looks like she wants to cry.

and not the happy kind...

What would you do?