"Last man standing...Cool" Bornbad uttered, "ruler of the Universe."

...and then, one more body rose from the dust...

and danced like there was no tomorrow.

Which there wasn't, really, because...

just then a freak electrical surge in 2007 took out the Plime server and the website (gasp!) was no more.
A dreary silence fell across the land for days, broken only by Bornbad's anguished cries and . . .

girlish whelps.

Bornbad set about learning HTML code, in the hope he could create a rival to Plime. However, the result was much, much inferior, and was called...

"Plorn"... it consisted of one small picture of monkey's having sex, surrounded by 182 advertisements and pop-up windows.

Sensing the lameness of the site, the Internet Police...

lolled, really really loud, so loud it killed all the birds.

For which they would have arrested themselves, had it not been for...

NINJAS, WHO JUMPED OUT OF EVERYWHERE!

The ninjas were very aggressive, and killed all the Internet Police, because they used their secret weapon:

.

timewarp projectors, which caused the Internet Police to murder their own parents, thereby sucking them back into a single, shrinking, and shortlived dot .

Then bornbad spontaneously combusted.

...only to be resurrected by a Ninja Penguin at their base, deep within the sun.

and then came a huge machine transformer with the magical ability to eat cheese, he took advantage of this by

...feeding it some cheese, effectively slowing it down. He then enlisted the aid of the Ninja Penguins to slaughter the beast. As he was walking away from the carnage with his new penguin buddies, he wondered,"...

where do babies come from? So he decided to ask...

God.