...people responded to my emails, even if it's "OK" or "I'll get back to you"

...you said what you really want to say, without using the "politically correct" filter. Something like, "Pay $2300 to my campaign of world domination." instead of, "Pay $2300 for lemon herb chicken."

...you would refrain from gaseous emissions while visiting my cubicle.

...everyone who reads this sends $1 to my paypal account.....

...if I could think of one of these.

you upvoted this comment. (i'll start)

... ^^^^^ what he said :D

you would stop posting naked pictures of yourself on the company web site.

...people wouldn't get their panties in a knot over some constructive criticism. No-one's perfect, and some people could be a little more grateful for feedback (even though watching them make fools of themselves is WAY funnier).

... you would stop requiring that I actually *come to work* to earn my wage.

...teachers would stop using the phrase "you're not working up to your potential" and just tell you that you're being lazy.

...people didn't make assumptions about others based on appearances.

...someone would get good grounds on which to impeach the president.

...mental/emotional disorders were discontinued.

...I were more appreciative.
...I were more appreciated.
...donuts were calorie free.
...I had more time to spend w/ my wife and kids.
...I could fly.
...people were nicer.
...my dog barked less.
...my bird talked more.
...the price of gas would go way down.
...it was not so easy to think of a million of these things.

...when people asked me to help them with a project they would actually stick around and let me help instead of do while they're off beating their gums.

..bornbad stopped posting weird stuff.

...I could just get these voices out of my head.

...my family would be just 1/2 as damn generous when I need help as I am when they do.

I could have a long vacation.

I could give my kids lessons(for piano, ballet, etc)

it was truly okay to say what you are thinking.

I could be more outspoken(in reality--virtually speaking I am way more outspoken).