Tales from our collective past : RSS 0.91http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/low.mtmen-usTales from our collective past : RSS 0.91http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/low.mtm<![CDATA[DoggyLives @ 12/8/2008 7:49:39 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q51« donteatpoop : 

Let's see... Called you an a*****e, admitted to being an a*****e myself, reconfirmed your a*****ery, worked in some education... Hopefully this will count towards my community service work.Pushing over that old guy on your way out and telling him you did his mum nullified all the good work you did here]]><![CDATA[donteatpoop @ 12/8/2008 5:31:52 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q50« DoggyLives : People on here make far "worse" comments on Plime, yourself included, so no, I didn't know what the downvotes were for, hence me asking.I agree whole heartedly. I wasn't trying to take a higher ground saying what I said. I was saying that if you say something that might be offensive you have to expect to be downvoted. Half the s**t I say I fully expect to be downvoted for.

I'm not saying don't make rape jokes. I'm saying, don't act surprised when someone downvotes you for making rape jokes. Same thing goes for pedophile jokes, necrophelia jokes, religious jokes, racist jokes, jokes about the handicap, etc, etc, etc. And if you didn't know that, if you seriously seriously didn't know that (which I'd be truly surprised to hear because you've never come off that dense), now you know. And as GI Joe would tell you, Knowing is half the battle.

For the record, I didn't know about anything happening to anyone in the real world either.

Also for the record, I didn't call you an a*****e as in "You're such a f**king a*****e" I called you an a*****e as in "Come on, you know you're an a*****e..." If that clarification makes any sense at all. Come on... I know I'm an a*****e.

What this made me think of is a documentary I saw about humor before. It predates history and seems to be an instinctive reaction to nervousness, surprise, and/or being caught off guard. (this is why offensive jokes tend to be extremely effective). Jokes focus on misdirection so that the punchline comes at you unexpectedly. Examine a joke and you will see what I'm talking about; even the most basic of jokes "Why'd the chicken cross the road?" The joke was probably funny once, before it was overplayed; because everybody is/was trying to rationalize what reason the chicken would have to cross the road; and the answer covers the most basic of reasons.

Let's see... Called you an a*****e, admitted to being an a*****e myself, reconfirmed your a*****ery, worked in some education... Hopefully this will count towards my community service work.]]><![CDATA[JoshSF49 @ 12/8/2008 4:41:43 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q49« DoggyLives : Obviously been playing Halo wayyyyy too muchhaha all i can say is that *something* was wrong]]><![CDATA[DoggyLives @ 12/8/2008 4:34:03 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q48« JoshSF49 :  Additionally, he declared war on her, and threatened her with a bunch of futuristic weapons. Obviously been playing Halo wayyyyy too much]]><![CDATA[JoshSF49 @ 12/8/2008 4:22:30 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q47
This one particular night, the managers scheduled me to host.

"Not a big deal," I thought.

I arrived at work, and not more than one hour after I clocked on, an older tattered (not tatted, tattered man walked through the door.

His body subtly shook as he asked me for a table. At the time, we were promoting our free, frequent diner cards, so I inquired if he owned a card. He became a little angry and started to raise his voice. "Everyone and their cards! They all just want to give me cards! Cards! Cards! Here! I have a bunch of cards!" as he tossed his credit cards onto the table.

At this point, my only goal was to get away, but he said "here's five dollars. Get me a water pitcher and a glass of water." So I did. And his waitress arrived to ask him what he'd like to order for his dinner.

I returned to his table with his water, and he informed me that he was fighting in World War VII. The manager eventually removed him from the restaurant. I found out later that he became irate at the waitress, because his pizza did not come out after 3 minutes. Additionally, he declared war on her, and threatened her with a bunch of futuristic weapons. She was crying.

It was the most unique experience I've ever had at a restaurant. I'll never forget it.]]><![CDATA[DoggyLives @ 12/8/2008 3:56:38 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q46« donteatpoop:Yeah, but really did you have to act like you weren't quite sure what brought on the downvotes?

I wasn't aware anyone on here was real-life raped recently until I got informed after I made that comment. People on here make far "worse" comments on Plime, yourself included, so no, I didn't know what the downvotes were for, hence me asking.

*Edit* My point is that if no one tells you that a comment is offensive because of a RL situation that's been discussed presumably in a different thread but instead just downvotes then I'm not to know why the comment caused offense am I?

Now I know that RL rape is a hot topic at this particular time, I've modified my original comment.]]><![CDATA[donteatpoop @ 12/8/2008 3:48:14 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q45« DoggyLives:They're as funny as Dead Baby Jokes are to some people.

Funny or not, it was a joke.Yeah, but really did you have to act like you weren't quite sure what brought on the downvotes?

Look, if you're going to be an a*****e (and it's cool if you are) you have to understand that not everyone is going to enjoy it. And as we know, there are two arrows for a reason.


Now, anyone have any actual tales from their past?]]><![CDATA[lynxears @ 12/8/2008 3:47:45 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q44« DoggyLives : They're as funny as Dead Baby Jokes are to some people.

Funny or not, it was a joke. It didn't actually happen. I don't even know any monkeysFunny or not, it was a downvote. They happen.]]><![CDATA[DoggyLives @ 12/8/2008 3:46:10 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q43« lynxears:Rape jokes aren't that funny. .They're as funny as Dead Baby Jokes are to some people.

Funny or not, it was a joke. It didn't actually happen. I don't even know any monkeys]]><![CDATA[lynxears @ 12/8/2008 3:44:09 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q42« DoggyLives : What would be nice is if people would give a heads up on what exactly got them clambering for the downvote button here.

Don't get me wrong I love downvotes but I'd like to know why they are here on this occasion.Rape jokes aren't that funny. Especially considering just two days ago, plimates were responding to an actual real-life rape.]]><![CDATA[DoggyLives @ 12/8/2008 3:41:28 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q41
Don't get me wrong I love kittens but I'd like to know why they are here on this occasion.]]><![CDATA[DoggyLives @ 12/8/2008 2:54:15 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q40« JoshSF49:At least it wasn't a gorilla...or was it?No, just a normal monkey

*Pssstt, don't look now but I'm pretty sure that dirty ape is downvoting us :D]]><![CDATA[JoshSF49 @ 12/8/2008 2:44:32 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q39<![CDATA[DoggyLives @ 12/8/2008 2:38:00 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q38« JoshSF49 : What a nightmareHorrible. It could have been worse I suppose, hard to figure out how right now though]]><![CDATA[JoshSF49 @ 12/8/2008 2:34:50 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q37<![CDATA[DoggyLives @ 12/8/2008 2:27:44 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q36
Police couldn't do anything because the filthy ape claimed it was consensual]]><![CDATA[T1000 @ 12/8/2008 1:55:31 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q35« dOntEAtpOOp : 

I never did find out what that noise was.Backfire.]]><![CDATA[lynxears @ 12/8/2008 12:49:33 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q34« donteatpoop : 
Kid still picks his nose and eats his boogers, but he faces away from everyone and tries to be conspicuous about the whole ordeal. Which is fine as far as I'm concerned. At least he's not whiping them all over the desk.You never said you worked with suckersklub! Why didn't you tell us?!]]><![CDATA[donteatpoop @ 12/8/2008 12:47:22 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q33this news post.

At my old job, a call center; we kept getting complaints about this one kid who was picking his nose and eating his boogers in the call center in front of everyone. It wasn't like he was turned towards his computer and doing it, he'd be turned around in his chair facing everyone and he'd be absentley fingering at the snot tunnel.

So his supervisor was charged with adressing the issue with the kid, but the supervisor (who was a younger guy) wasn't sure how to go about it. So he decided to throw the room rules at the kid.

He stops next to the kids cubicle and says "I just wanted to let you know that there's no eating allowed on the fllor."

The kid looked back at him absentley and said; "I wasn't eating anything."

"Are you sure?" The sup asks, "Because I kind of thought I saw you chewing on something."

"No," the kid says. "I wasn't eating."

Defeated, the supervisor returns to the sup office where the rest of us were laughing at the situation. He describes his encounter, which I thought was hilarious; and I tell him that I'll handle it. I told him to watch me to see how it's done.

So he went back to his desk (only a dozen feet or so from the kid who was eating his boogers) and I stop at booger-boys cubicle.

"Hey," I say.

He turns to face me.

"Stop picking your nose and eating your boogers in front of everyone like that. It's f**king disgusting and people are complaining."

-blink-

-blink-

"Alright?" I ask.

He nods.

I walk away. Supervisor has to leave the room to control himself from laughing.

Kid still picks his nose and eats his boogers, but he faces away from everyone and tries to be conspicuous about the whole ordeal. Which is fine as far as I'm concerned. At least he's not whiping them all over the desk.]]><![CDATA[donteatpoop @ 12/1/2008 9:42:08 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q32this post as it reminded me of an awkward situation that I found myself a part of once.

I walked into a gas station convenience store and saw my brother in law who I hadn't seen in like two years at the time. So I said "Hey Nick!" and walked up to him, but he didn't move, just kept looking at the Combo(r) or whatever in front of his face. As I got closer I realised that it wasn't Nick at all, but someone else entirely that I didn't know.

So I walked past him as though I was calling out to someone at the end of the isle. But there was no one there. So I just circled around the isle and exited the store.

It was definatley awkward for me.]]><![CDATA[Marz @ 11/30/2008 5:32:19 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q31« donteatpoop : Remember the other day when your mum was like "Hey Marz, Donteatpoop told me to tell you hello..." ?

It's kind of like that.So, really disturbing. Ok, got it.

Oh yeah, next time DEP, make sure you do whatever it is you do (Knitting? Petting puppies and kittens?) with my mother after she visits. She was too wrecked to do much.]]><![CDATA[donteatpoop @ 11/30/2008 5:26:47 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q30« Marz : I'm running on slow today. I don't get it? It's Sunday, I'm never all there on a SundayRemember the other day when your mum was like "Hey Marz, Donteatpoop told me to tell you hello..." ?

It's kind of like that.]]><![CDATA[maven @ 11/30/2008 12:16:30 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q29
Sir, I had no idea you wanted to replace DEP. Cheers on that.]]><![CDATA[Marz @ 11/30/2008 11:55:13 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q28« suckersklub : I was reminded of this thread by talking about Marz's Mom & reading DEP's blog a few minutes ago (why?!).

So earlier this year, I was working with a crew from another film school for a week or so. Somehow we got caught into a 7-day downward spiral of "your mom" jokes, especially us guys from the gaffer's crew. I guess I must have been worst, since I even got credited as My First Name "Your Mom" My Last Name in their graduate movie.
When I showed up for the public screening of that movie a few weeks ago, I was (not surprisingly) greeted with loads of snarky requests about why I hadn't brought my mom and such. I looked at the group of newly-graduates, and quickly discovered that of course most of them had in fact brought their moms for the big day. So later that night, when everyone (including me & the moms) were sufficiently drunk, I had a few cocktails with a few of the moms (I was super polite), and eventually asked them to send my best regards to their respective sons/daughters when I left.

I received a few confused emails and texts after that, to which I haven't responded yet.I'm running on slow today. I don't get it? It's Sunday, I'm never all there on a Sunday]]><![CDATA[suckersklub @ 11/30/2008 11:47:10 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q27why?!).

So earlier this year, I was working with a crew from another film school for a week or so. Somehow we got caught into a 7-day downward spiral of "your mom" jokes, especially us guys from the gaffer's crew. I guess I must have been worst, since I even got credited as My First Name "Your Mom" My Last Name in their graduate movie.
When I showed up for the public screening of that movie a few weeks ago, I was (not surprisingly) greeted with loads of snarky requests about why I hadn't brought my mom and such. I looked at the group of newly-graduates, and quickly discovered that of course most of them had in fact brought their moms for the big day. So later that night, when everyone (including me & the moms) were sufficiently drunk, I had a few cocktails with a few of the moms (I was super polite), and eventually asked them to send my best regards to their respective sons/daughters when I left.

I received a few confused emails and texts after that, to which I haven't responded yet.]]><![CDATA[donteatpoop @ 11/15/2008 12:09:07 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q26Over the Wall


At the catholic school I went to when I was younger (3rd-7th grade) the boys restroom was had a divider wall, one that was about a foot short of the cieling; with urinals and toilets on both sides.

When we were in the fourth grade the cool thing was to see how far back you could stand while peeing and still make it in the urinal. The janitor loved us, I'm sure.

It got to the point that we could have our backs to the wall and still make it in. I was the first to do so, by the way.

One day, one of my friends; Todd Fricker, said "I bet I can pee over the wall."

No on thought he could. "No way," we said.

Way.

A golden arc shot through the air, clearing the wall by several inches and coming just short of the ceiling.

We were all impressed.

And then our awed silence was cut short by a shout from the other side.

"Fricker! I'm gonna kill you!!"

And then Nathan Possert came over from the other side, his uniform white shirt drenched and yellowed like he just went for a swim in a pool of lemonade.

We laughed hysterically. To this day I can't figure out why he stayed there when the attempted feat was announced. Perhaps he didn't think it could be done. Perhaps he was already peeing and was trying to finish up in time. I like to envision him frantically peeing as fast as he can while the stream of piss closed in on him.

Catholic school. Good times.]]><![CDATA[maven @ 11/14/2008 11:49:13 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q25« Maven: Walmart 'short' door story OMG! Update! They took the short door out. I'm not sure if it's related or how long after this it happened.]]><![CDATA[suebe @ 11/14/2008 11:23:27 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q24Click here to show image

Too good a thread to not bump up]]><![CDATA[madhatteraggie @ 8/10/2008 9:41:11 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q23« mewhitenoise : That is SOOOO AWESOME!!!!!! heheh scaring those crazy Catholics with some exorcist s**t.....amazing.I wish I had a camcoder that day so I could watch it over and over again. The looks on their faces were priceless. Sister Maurine(the principal) looked like she was about to have a heart attack and the Bishop got on his knees and started praying! HA! I can be so horrible sometimes.]]><![CDATA[mewhitenoise @ 8/10/2008 9:27:44 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q22« madhatteraggie : OK, so I'm full of stories and I thought I'd share this one with everyone, this story had a major impact on my life which is why I am the person I am today.

I used to be Catholic, I'm now a Wiccan. When I was younger I was one of the biggest Jesus freaks you could ever meet. I went to Catholic school, went to Church at least 3 times a week and never really questioned my faith.

Then I hit the lovely age of 12 and started asking questions about why certain things were the way they were. I always got the same response, either it was "Because God made it that way" or "Because thats how it is".

Apprently my asking questions brought the wrath of my school and the Catholic Church down upon me because one day I get called to the principal's office and I see my mom, the church Bishop, and a few of my teachers sitting there.

When I sat down the principal turns to my mother and says, "Mrs. Dal Moro, you're daughter has been asking a lot of questions and some of them are a bit scandoulous. She's causing a lot of commotion amoung her peers and this has caused us to worry. She used to be such a quiet and obedient girl, that this sudden change in personality worries us greatly. So I've talked to a few of her teahcers and the Bishop and we all agree that we believe your daught is possessed by the Devil or some demon. With your permission and the permission of the Church we would like to perform an excorcism."

Needles to say I was outraged as well as my mom. She started going off on everyone there saying how can they be so stupid, she was only curious, and asking questions is a normal part of growing up, etc. etc.

Then the Bishop chimes in and says to her, "You don't knwo that for sure, her radical change of behavior could be the cause of something evil and we must do something at once."

So, being angry and the little b***h that I was at the time, I dropped to the floor, rolling around, and started talking gibberish which started freaking everyone out in the room. Before it go too out of hand I sat up and started laughing, which no one else thought funny.

To make a long story short, I was removed from the school that day and placed into a private school. Afterwards I started looking for answers, not wanting to completely give up on my religion, but never found anything so I searched elsewhere and today I am a Wiccan.

:-D.That is SOOOO AWESOME!!!!!! heheh scaring those crazy Catholics with some exorcist s**t.....amazing.]]><![CDATA[madhatteraggie @ 8/10/2008 9:22:37 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q21
I used to be Catholic, I'm now a Wiccan. When I was younger I was one of the biggest Jesus freaks you could ever meet. I went to Catholic school, went to Church at least 3 times a week and never really questioned my faith.

Then I hit the lovely age of 12 and started asking questions about why certain things were the way they were. I always got the same response, either it was "Because God made it that way" or "Because thats how it is".

Apprently my asking questions brought the wrath of my school and the Catholic Church down upon me because one day I get called to the principal's office and I see my mom, the church Bishop, and a few of my teachers sitting there.

When I sat down the principal turns to my mother and says, "Mrs. Dal Moro, you're daughter has been asking a lot of questions and some of them are a bit scandoulous. She's causing a lot of commotion amoung her peers and this has caused us to worry. She used to be such a quiet and obedient girl, that this sudden change in personality worries us greatly. So I've talked to a few of her teahcers and the Bishop and we all agree that we believe your daught is possessed by the Devil or some demon. With your permission and the permission of the Church we would like to perform an excorcism."

Needles to say I was outraged as well as my mom. She started going off on everyone there saying how can they be so stupid, she was only curious, and asking questions is a normal part of growing up, etc. etc.

Then the Bishop chimes in and says to her, "You don't knwo that for sure, her radical change of behavior could be the cause of something evil and we must do something at once."

So, being angry and the little b***h that I was at the time, I dropped to the floor, rolling around, and started talking gibberish which started freaking everyone out in the room. Before it go too out of hand I sat up and started laughing, which no one else thought funny.

To make a long story short, I was removed from the school that day and placed into a private school. Afterwards I started looking for answers, not wanting to completely give up on my religion, but never found anything so I searched elsewhere and today I am a Wiccan.

:-D.]]><![CDATA[dOntEAtpOOp @ 8/10/2008 8:57:09 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q20A pair of driving stories

A few years ago my wife and I were driving down a country road, she at the wheel. We're going a good ten miles over the posted speed limit, putting us at about 45-50MPH, when this a*****e in a truck starts riding our ass like we're crawling in the fast lane on the interstate highway.

So this b*****d rides us for about a minute before swerving around us, slamming his pedal down, and flipping us off while honking the horn as he flew passed us. He was really booking, because he was soon out of sight on the road. But like five or six seconds later we see a cop behind us, he turns on his lights and siren and speeds past us.

It's hard to convey the joy we felt when, moments later, we came upon the a*****e pulled over on the side of the road with the cop getting out of his cruiser to write him a ticket.

I told my wife to slow way down so that we were sort of in parade mode and I leaned real far out the window. I did my best Nelson Muntz impression, pointed at him and said "Haha" before we drove on.

Click here to show image






About a week ago my wife and I are driving along the highway when some guy in front of us who had a couch on a trailer lost his couch just as he was heading onto an off-ramp. The couch went flying and my wife had to slam on the brakes. So this couch, it managed to clear the ramp and land on those little diagonal lines that mark the road edge and the guy pulls off the road on the other side of the off ramp (putting an empty lane between him and the couch).

First, clearly he should have strapped that thing in if he was going to drive on the highway; but then, as my wife attempts to go around him he gets out of his truck without bothering to check for traffic and crosses the lane. As he crosses it dawns on him to check for traffic, so he looks at us as he walks, making eye contact the whole time.

My wife, understandably, is a bit agitated at this. She's practically fuming behind the wheel, but not saying a word, while this guy has the goofiest idiot-smile on his face; the smile being a blend of "I'm a f**king moron" and "please don't run me over, lady".

Mrs. Poop is a bit hormonal, being super pregnant, so she was probably a bit more heated over the incident than she should have been (definately more than I would have been because I would have just got out and helped him grab the couch while mocking him the whole time, but we were in a hurry and I wasn't driving so I stayed where i was). So when the guy drags the couch across the lane, despite seeing that we were trying to move through, he continues staring with his stupid smile and vacant eyes.

When he finally clears the lane, my wife hits the pedal and says in a not-yelling-but-loud-enough-for-him-to-hear voice "Most people look before they walk out in front of traffic on a highway!"

So he says, "Well you don't have to be a b***h about it."

Thankfully we weren't going too fast yet, so I was able to lean out the window and look back at him and say (not yell, just say) "Hey go f**k yourself on your hand-me-down couch."]]><![CDATA[mewhitenoise @ 8/9/2008 9:34:43 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q19
When I was in middle school, a friend of mine had this little area in his house, which we had dubbed The Loft, it was like an attic like room, except it was in the basement.....so it was like an attic to the basement.

Anyways we had a few sleepovers in there, and the sleep madness started to set in sooooo we started doing some strange things, for some reason we decided not to leave the loft for the whole night and we peed in bottles behind a curtainish thing made from blankets and left them in the corner.

Eventually we came to the conclusion that rolling little pieces of paper into cigarette shape lighting them and pretending to smoke would be a good idea. This was before I had ever smoked a cigarette or even seen weed. So we were performing this strange act for a while, and then someone got the "cigarette" too close to the insulation, and all of a sudden, the ceiling caught fire.

So we all get really freaked out and start beating the ceiling rapidly with the pillows we had with us. Finally we finish off all of the flames and relax. Then one of my friends sees some more fire way up high in the ceiling in a little niche. So I shoved the pillow I had into the hole and luckily this worked. We had almost started my friends house on fire and his parents never found out (too my knowledge)

This story seems a lot stranger telling it now then it did then. (with pissing in bottles, and the cigarettes) Man my childhood was strange.....but so has been my whole life.]]><![CDATA[Sputum @ 8/9/2008 9:04:04 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q18« muppetmaker 

So one day for Bruce's Birthday my Grandmother brought him home a amputated breast in a jar.

I'll give him ten bucks for it...]]><![CDATA[SparklyEyedGal181 @ 8/9/2008 8:53:59 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q17« muppetmaker :amputated boy partsewwwwwwwwww!]]><![CDATA[bingo @ 8/9/2008 2:07:15 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q16« muppetmaker : So, this post about boobs made me think of this story.


Needless to say he never said tit again.HAHAHAHAHAHA - did he keep it?]]><![CDATA[sykeo56 @ 8/9/2008 2:00:34 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q15« muppetmaker : Needless to say he never said tit again.Needless to say, I just threw up.]]><![CDATA[muppetmaker @ 8/9/2008 12:53:59 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q14boobs made me think of this story.

My Grandmother worked in a hospital with my Grandfather, they worked for a company that would send them to hospitals everywhere to set up labs, with all the brand new lab equipment and show the staff how to use it, conduct tests, all that jazz.

My uncle Bruce, who was the third of seven children, my father being the youngest had this unnatural fascination with Breasts. LOVE BOOBS. Though back then the proper slang for breasts was Tits. And he would use that world like there was no tomorrow. 'Tits. Tits. Tits.' This wouldn't have been so big a problem if it weren't for my Grandmother hating the word tit. HATED IT. Every time an argument would arise between mom and son, Bruce would simply throw down 'TITS... TITS." And this would anger my Grandmother so much she would storm off.

She had to do something to stop this crazy boy and his foul mouth. Having full access to a hospital at the time it seemed my Grandmother had a plan. Most hospitals stored their amputated boy parts, for what ever reason, honestly I dont know. But there would be rooms and rooms of jars stuffed with arms, eyes, a kidney, what ever needed to be chopped off.

So one day for Bruce's Birthday my Grandmother brought him home a amputated breast in a jar.

Needless to say he never said tit again.]]><![CDATA[supaman @ 8/5/2008 12:32:52 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q13(Marz)]]><![CDATA[meggysue @ 8/1/2008 12:54:21 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q12
Bornbad and I are cousins. EEEEEEEKKK!

And that's just the start of it. When I was 12, we visited my Nana in Point Pleasant, NJ. My sister and I were relegated to sleeping upstairs. I don't know where my mother slept, maybe on the couch? Never wondered that before, hmmm.

Anyway, Bornbad's sisters made a special point to tell us that NO ONE had EVER spent a whole night upstairs in Nana's house. You see, it backed up to a graveyard, which was already spooky, and it was supposedly haunted. We laughed it off as a prank, but it stayed in the back of our minds.

That night, my older sister Barbara slept in the bedroom at the front of the house. Little old 12 year old me slept in the back bedroom, which faced the graveyard (THANKS BARBARA.) I turned up the standing mirror so that it wouldn't reflect the gauzy curtains in the window and freak me out if I woke up unexpectedly. We were worn out from traveling, so went to sleep.

In the middle of the night, the slats fell out of my sister's bed, and the mirror flipped back over, at the same time. We didn't even touch the stairs on the way down, just flew over them.

To this day, I don't think ANYONE has EVER spent the whole night upstairs in that house. And mom must have slept with Nana, 'cuz I don't think she did either.]]><![CDATA[blurmore @ 8/1/2008 12:29:26 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q11« smarty1052 : the freighter sucked me under, it was creepy.. and do freighter really suck people under or were they lying to me?I was like almost born on a boat. What they are probably referring to is getting caught in the boat wake, which if you were close enough would probably happen. You might find yourself underwater and at the business end of a HUGE prop which turns relatively slowly, but still fast enough to screw up your day. When the QEII came to Baltimore the recommended that boats under 20 feet stay 500 yards away, probably an liberal estimate, but when dealing with a craft that cleared the center span of the Key Bridge by a mere 11 feet, it is probably best to be liberal.]]><![CDATA[smarty1052 @ 8/1/2008 12:23:40 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q10« blurmore:Wait...You are black...AND YOU RIDE a JET SKI!!??? FTW... You need to come to B'more and teach some people that Jet Skis not Dirt Bikes are where its at.lol, I was at one of my white friends houst in saint clair shores.. he has 2 jet skiis and a big boat, that was my first time riding one.. those things are sweet.. I almost died once on a one seater jet ski..I fell off out in the middle of a lake once and a big freighter was coming and I couldn't get back on it and after like 15mins I was so tired I could barely move..

My brother was on land with my friend paul(we were at his cottage on harsens Island) and he had to drive te 2 seater jetski back out and switch with me b4 the freighter sucked me under, it was creepy.. and do freighter really suck people under or were they lying to me?]]><![CDATA[blurmore @ 8/1/2008 12:16:40 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q9« smarty1052 :
So after smoking about 2 blunts and riding on a jet-ski all day (Wait...You are black...AND YOU RIDE a JET SKI!!??? FTW... You need to come to B'more and teach some people that Jet Skis not Dirt Bikes are where its at.]]><![CDATA[smarty1052 @ 8/1/2008 12:10:38 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q8
So I already had my speech written so I decided to go to one of my friends houses before and got jetskiing and stuff since the speech wasn't until 8pm. This is the summer after my senior year in high school by the way. So My friend convinces me to smoke some pot with him while at his house.. seeing as how it was only 4pm.

So after smoking about 2 blunts and riding on a jet-ski all day I finally get to my house and pick up my mom(my date, awww) and head to the place. We got there just as dinner was being served and sitting at my table next to me was Dr Mae Jemison(black female astrounaut, and very beautiful) and Dennis Archer, lol and the head of the Tuskegee Detroit chapter. So after a bunch of conversation I don;t hardly remember and some awkward momments of me hitting on Mae Jemison I had to go up and give my speech after dinner

I walked up there tripped a lil, got a little laugh from the crowd, and began.. I went through it slowly and perfectly and got a standing ovation for comapring the new times to the times of the past and how I wanted to reach back and help someone like they had done for me. So yea All 700 people were standing cheering and I kinda zoned out for about 50 seconds then finally found my seat. I should probably post some pics of that night.. I dont have a scanner though :-(]]><![CDATA[Chez @ 8/1/2008 6:11:37 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q7« mewhitenoise : I used to be one weird ass little kid.

I would make what I called potions by pouring together the little tiny bits of liquid left in all of the bottles in the recycling bin (why my parents didn't get me a chemistry set, I don't know....guess they were to busy pushing sports on me).

So one day I have my potion in my back yard and I am hanging out with my neighbor, who I was on and off with friendship with him. The neighborhood wandering cat Aris comes along and wants too be petted. My neighbor being a mean little kid decides to pour my disgusting wine milk apple cider grape juice apple sauce "potion" onto this poor cat.

I react quickly and unintentional poor the potion on him. So he runs away covered in some disgusting substance.....and I guess it was karma.DUDE! I USED TO DO THAT TOO!!! I used to pour my concoctions onto different leaves on plants and I would check them every day to see if thhey were dry or mutated lmao

awww yay for being mad scientists!]]><![CDATA[mewhitenoise @ 8/1/2008 6:01:40 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q6
I would make what I called potions by pouring together the little tiny bits of liquid left in all of the bottles in the recycling bin (why my parents didn't get me a chemistry set, I don't know....guess they were to busy pushing sports on me).

So one day I have my potion in my back yard and I am hanging out with my neighbor, who I was on and off with friendship with him. The neighborhood wandering cat Aris comes along and wants too be petted. My neighbor being a mean little kid decides to pour my disgusting wine milk apple cider grape juice apple sauce "potion" onto this poor cat.

I react quickly and unintentionally pour the potion on him. So he runs away covered in some disgusting substance.....and I guess it was karma.]]><![CDATA[chinook @ 8/1/2008 5:35:44 AM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q5
Saskatoons!
The summer when I was 9 or maybe 10, I was at the cabin with my brothers and my mom and grandma. The weather was good one afternoon, but hangin' out with my family got a bit boring after 10 minutes, so I decided to go and play with my cousin, Jono. I sauntered down the dirt lane, grateful it was never really graveled as I was barefoot as usual. Jonathan and I played minigolf on the little minigolf course we had set up (using atco flags and soup cans), and then climbed trees and the treehouse like monkeys. I was super excited that day because my bestest friend in all the land was supposed to arrive later that afternoon, and I couldn't wait to see him. Jono and I both kept our little ears strained for the sound of tires crunching on gravel, and eventually ended up back out on the lane so that we wouldn't miss the first glimpse of our friend's car.

At the end of the lane there were several large saskatoon bushes, and being mid-July they were just loaded with delicious berries. We were hungry after playing all afternoon, and decided to just have a few berries.

"Hey look, Lex, I'm eating like a bear!" Jonathan exclaimed as he shoved a berry-laden branch into his mouth.

I just laughed, and did the same. It then became a contest to see who could eat the fastest, and then who could put the most in their mouth, and then who could eat without using our hands....

It wasn't until there were no more berries on the branches we could reach that we began to notice the time. We'd been eating berries for over an hour, and it was now suppertime. Time to skedaddle!

I ran straight home, and my mom and grandma were just setting the table. They took one look at my purple lips, cheeks and fingers and began to scold me for ruining my appetite for supper AND for being late. As a punishment, I'd be missing supper AND helping with the dishes once everyone was done eating, even though it wasn't my turn. Curses!

I hurried through the dishes while whining about cleaning up after a supper I didn't eat. I just wanted the dishes to be done because my best friend was almost here!

As I put the last dry dish on the shelf, I felt something really rumble in my tummy. It was NOT good, not at all. I thought back to the infinities of berries I had eaten just a few hours ago. Uh-oh.

I spent the rest of the night curled up near the toilet. My bestest friend in all the land came over to see if I could come and play, but I was too scared to move. My mom was trying hard not to laugh, though she said in hindsight she hadn't really needed to punish me with the dishes.

Now I try not to eat berries like a bear.]]><![CDATA[dork @ 6/5/2008 8:18:55 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q4« donteatpoop : So... Do you have a plane now that you're older?

My funds are a little short at the moment and I don't wanna use a credit card or take out a loan ;-).

I didnt say how much older I would be before I got one, give me ten more years.]]><![CDATA[donteatpoop @ 6/5/2008 4:46:23 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q3« dork : I promised myself that when I'm older I would get a plane.
So... Do you have a plane now that you're older?]]><![CDATA[dork @ 6/5/2008 4:39:36 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q2
I will never forget that day...]]>
Tales from our collective past
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<![CDATA[donteatpoop @ 12/9/2007 12:25:47 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/f/2567/1/rss0_91.rss#q1