Oh god f**king damn it.

THAT IS A TERRIBLE REASON TO KILL A MAJOR CHARACTER, YOU GIGANTIC SCHMUCK

(Warning, I am a nerd.)

Okay so, this has always, always, always annoyed me about Marvel comics: it is impossible for me to appreciate any peril your heroes are in if death in your universe is a temporary inconvenience.

Death in the Marvel universe is a revolving door. It's where characters go to hang out, have coffee and relax until the door turns, there's a huge splash panel and SHOCKING TURN OF EVENTS, HE IS BACK AND HIS COSTUME LOOKS A LITTLE DIFFERENT!

This is why people do not take comics seriously in America. Neon spandex and black leather in a peek-a-boo mask on the cover, absolutely nothing that remotely respects the reader's intelligence on the pages.

Captain America was shot dead on the street to massive, massive media fanfare, hardcover special editions, while-cap-was-getting-shot books, world-without-Cap books, aftermath books. Major, major event in the Marvel universe, Captain America is one of their figureheads.

This is a huge event, oh my god, they killed Cap.

Nine months later, all of that turns out to have been completely unnecessary, see, we were always planning on bringing him back to life. So all of that? Yeah, forget all that.

Marvel does this all the time.

Every single character that has appeared in any X-Man book has died at least once and in several circumstances multiple times.

Marvel treats all continuity with the same level of total apathy.

Recently and notoriously, Spider-Man editors wanted Peter Parker to be single again, so they had him make a deal with Mephisto, the devil: to save his elderly-for-the-last-forty-years-Aunt May's life, Peter Parker, the Incredible Spider-Man, gave up his entire history with his wife, Mary Jane.

And so, the entire Marvel Universe shifted two feet to the left, Mary Jane and Peter Parker never met and never will and the entire last twenty years of continuity didn't f**king happen.

How am I supposed to care about any of these characters? How is it possible to care about anything that happens in a universe where nothing that happens matters?

Any sense of peril is completely blunted with the knowledge that even if Doctor Octopus finally just yanks Spider-Man's heart out of his chest, he'll be back in three months with a robotic heart and a more-currently-relevant costume.

That's it. To hell with this. I'm done with Marvel.

Don't hold back...say what you feel, dude.

"Civil War" was overhyped, and completely squandered what could have been a fascinating storyline dealing with responsibility, turning it instead into a heavy-handed excuse to let heroes punch each other.

And what they did to perennial loser Speedball was a f**king crime.

"Penance" my d**k. Hooray for the world's first hero who gains his powers by cutting himself.