My parents had a system where I got spanked only when I caused physical harm to another. So when I decided that my friend was annoying me and punched him, I got spanked. Guess what? I never punched my friend again and haven't ended up suicidal like the very "scientific" APA thinks I will.

Edited out a long post and I'll just say that I do not agree with this.

I'm confident that not punishing your kid is a worse idea. Enabling them to be brats and let them walk all over you not only does not prepare them for when they have to support themselves and live courteously in the world, but it also makes it hell on your life because you will end up playing waiter on them.

I'm going out on a limb and saying that most people who grew up in the 80s and previous were spanked as children. Yet, how many of these people *really* are so screwed up? Spanking isn't abuse, since abuse is disassociated with the consequences of wrongdoing.

I was spanked as a kid, and I turned out just fine. I remember it happening quite clearly (not because it was traumatic, because it wasn't, but because I have a decent memory). I never became scared or skiddish around my parents. I never felt abused or wronged. I rarely even thought about it unless I knew I did something wrong. And it got the message across pretty dang quick, and worked.

I do not agree with this recommendation, which while it is by a scientific panel, it is hardly a causation and it is hardly the results of a true study. All they had is a correlation, which just means they did not have enough information to draw a link, though they seemed to occur in correspondence with each other, but that could be for other factors. It does not mean they are related at all.

I think this is just jumping the gun a little bit, and yet another incident of the baby boomer generation being overprotective and sheltering kids to the point where it is unnecessary and creates undue hardship on everyone else.

Baby boomers got hit a lot. Take my word for it. My parents thought hitting was the thing to do. I've never hit my kids, and they are great people. They didn't even miss getting hit. Who'da thunk?

It wasn't meant as a generalization (I know there's several on here). But, it seems to come out of that age group, when people start banning things like tag or letting kids pick teams. Spanking seems to go right in hand with that type of stuff.

Of course, you don't *have* to spank, and if it works for you, the more power to you. But, it's not quite so damaging as it is made out to be, and it does get the job done. So, that's what I meant behind the post.

I think it's people trying to draw a boundary for abuse, which is difficult. There were times when I was spanked when I accepted the terms of what I'd done, and why it was not right, and the punishment, all in.

There were also other times, though, which I'd rather not relate, and it's these that give me pause.

Spanking is nothing. I got more than spanking, but I turned out fine.

I think spanking or not spanking is the choice of the parent, not society. I do agree that lines must be drawn to prevent abuse, but saying "no one can spank, because a minority of parents don't know how to control themselves" is a lot like the zero tolerance rules in American schools. I think we can agree that the zero tolerance rules were abused to get people into trouble that didn't deserve it.
I spank, but there comes a time that my kids don't need them, I haven't spanked my 9 year old in a while, because there are other punishments that work better as his ability to reason develops. My 2 year old cannot reason through, I bit my brother and Daddy took my toy away so biting is bad. She can understand I bit my brother and got a spanking. The convenient thing comes when after a few spankings the threat of a spanking becomes as effective as the actual thing, making it so I don't have to spank as often.

I think there are some false dichotomies being thrown up. Many people tend to frame it as, "either you spank your child or YOU DON'T DISCIPLINE THEM IN ANY OTHER WAY THAT'S EFFECTIVE." This, of course, is NOT what psychologists are saying. They're saying, given a number of different factors, there are other ways of disciplining that work at least as wel, if not much better,l as corporal punishment without all the possible drawbacks.

In the end, violence in violence. Teach your kids to respect your soundness and wisdom, not your muscular left open palm.

I've also always noticed one major thing about spanking: Ever wonder why parents stop spanking their kids around the time they hit puberty? Could it have anything to do with the fact that the kids are getting dangerously close to being able to take the belt away from you and beat you with it? Naaaaaah. It's all some nonsense about how kids are more mature at that age mentally. It's just a huge coincidence.

As a child, I was spanked and slapped on several occasions. But, after my parents spanked me, they would always apologize and then carefully explain why they had to resort to physical punishment. Of course, at the time of the spanking I was always extremely angry with my parents, but, after they apologized and talked everything through with me, I always realized what I had done wrong and, in most cases, never did it again. And, of course, I almost always forgave my parents for the punishment.

Now, I believe in using spanking as a way to discipline children as long as it is used carefully and with moderation. Physical punishment is not something that should be used lightly. There are plenty of other less-violent discipline methods that can be used in place of spanking.

You've summed up everything I was about to say.

How about if every time you messed up at work or pissed your boss off he came up to you and whooped your ass or slapped you.

Kids need disciple and guidance and mainly through example, but lets not forget that they are young people, not property to be dealt with as we see fit, they should be accorded the same dignity and respect as any other human.

Spanking teaches children that hitting is a viable way to solve issues.

I saw a lady wallop her child's backside and use the following words, "How many times have I told you, it's not nice to hit people!!1" Yup, that makes perfect sense.

Your child bites someone and you discipline them by inflicting physical pain what the hell does that teach them?

When I met my wife she had 3 children from a previous relationship, I was 21.

After we got married and I took on the dad role I used to smack as discipline.

When I had 2 boys that were biologically mine I smacked them too as discipline.

Everytime I did I felt physically ill at doing it.

Here's why, I thought that spanking was my only option to discipline my kids.

I was raised receiving ass whoopings on a regular/daily basis.

My parents used Proverbs 13:24 as the logic and justification behind this, "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.", and other bible verses.

As time passed I realised that this not only wasn't the only option but it wasn't an option for me at all.

There are far better ways to discipline a child and instil good values and behaviour.

Spanking is a quick fix and often only serves to make the parent feel better.

I agree that there are other methods that work wonderfully. Some work better on some kids than others. My sisters were the type that if you sent them to their room it was the worst thing you could do, but me? My room had my toys, books, later TV and computer. Where's the punishment? My son you can spank until the cows come home and he will look at you like you have just done nothing to him. But sending him to his room is very effective. You need to know your kids and what will be a punishment. Alot of it is just that, get to know your kids, spend time with them and you can manage discipline.

Again, I feel it's that line between discipline and abuse, which can only be drawn between a particular child and parent. You don't want to cross it, but to try and legislate that boundary for a nation is a possibly terrible proposition. Some kids will always take a spanking over some restriction or penalty, if given the choice, because the temporary pain seems less a burden. And sometimes they go on to f*ck up in larger ways.

At other times the parent is working out their frustrations on the kid, which is just not right. I suppose this is why police officers, judges, and social workers are provided with case-by-case discretion, which, as Shakespeare pointed out, is the better part of valor. And which also reminds me of a quote from a comedy genius: "If Shakespeare's so great, how come no one's ever heard of him?"