An older blog post, but I just found it and I think the issue is evergreen. I am just curious what plimates think.

Read this woman's personal story, think about the issue as a whole... what do you think?

I think in this case it would be a "he said, she said" thing as pertaining to the law. I can't understand why a person would not hear 'no'. Being drunk goes both ways when it comes to the moment in time. Interesting question, I have no solid answer.

God, that's such a sticky subject. I would definitely encourage a woman to report her attacker, but I wouldn't think any less of her if she didn't.

Obviously, reporting a rape can prevent it from happening to someone else, but no, I don't think a woman is morally obligated to do anything. Rape trials aren't all hugs and rainbows; in some instances they can be more traumatizing than the rape itself...in many instances, they add to the trauma.

A friend of mine was abducted and forced to strip at gunpoint. She managed to escape through sheer luck and ran back to her house (the would-be rapist forced her into a car at a bar and she talked him into going to her house since no one would be there. Another tenant was outside the apartment, so he tried to rape her in his car in an alley).

The local cops gave her a ton of s**t when she went to them. They were very rude and skeptical and made it out to be her fault and never pursued the case even though she gave a very good description of the guy's car and appearance. The next day, another girl was raped in a parking building about a block from her apartment but no one called my friend to see if maybe they were related (and this is a small town, so they probably were). She flat out said even if they caught the guy and brought him to trial and called her to testify, she'd refuse because of the way the cops treated her.

She would see the guy in town every now and then or see his truck and it really messed her up.

I'm also torn....

Reporting a rape is a difficult thing. WAY more difficult than reporting a mugging or carjacking. It's a personal invasion followed by even more personal invasions of doctors, police, lawyers....

Yes, I'd try to report to prevent another woman from being hurt. But I'm tough, and have been down that road before. I also have a GREAT support system already in place to help me through.

Is non-reporting any crime against the law? Is it aiding and abetting? Does it hurt society? Is there any way to report it without getting involved?

CC (Colorado College--not a school I go to) has a policy on school campus that a guy must have verbal, ongoing consent or else sex is considered rape. This means that the girl (or the weaker of the two..whomever that may be) must first consent to having sex. Then she must consent throughout the activity (meaning she doesn't say no...and it implies that the guy must continue to ask "is it ok that we keep doing this?"). If at any point she says no, it's considered rape. Additionally, if either party is drunk, that cannot count as consent.

I don't necessarily agree with the CC policy. But I do think it would help the girl who wrote this blog.

As to the question posed: if you're not sure it's rape, then you shouldn't call it rape. If it was against your consent, then it's rape, and you should report it.

Legally, yes it is. If you are aware of a crime, you are legally bound to report it because it can happen again if you do not.

Considering how traumatizing rape is, they could only instill such a law if cops like the ones Abandonedcouch's friend had to deal with were held accountable for not traumatizing a rape victim further.

While that is a bit much, I understand the worry. Most rapes committed are done by guys in that age group, and the victims are usually within the same age group. I would think the better option would be to really stress how traumatizing rape (even date rape) can be for a girl. Nearly 1/3 of all guys who rape really do not understand how much it hurts the girls, in fact they truly believe she wanted it.

I don't think this is a good rule of thumb. There are some that think date rape is fine if the girl teases him (with clothing, or by stopping at 2nd base)
There are also others that think it is fine if the girl in question is their own girlfriend/wife.