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 How I became a divorced virgin
How I became a divorced virgin
I was twenty-nine, single again after a five-year marriage, and a virgin. When I met my now ex-husband Mike, I had just turned 21. We met at small Catholic liberal arts college, and even though I no longer believed in Jesus, the Saints, the Bible, God, really any of that. I was a virgin then, and I was a virgin when we divorced.

*NSFW if your boss reads over your shoulder. Safe images* picked by lynxears 2 years ago
tags divorced virgin abstinence first time married sex
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31
 gammerus
2 years ago
You marry someone that doesn't even care to makeout... What do you expect?
quote #2
21
 bcgrote
2 years ago
I'm fortunate I suppose to have never dated anyone asexual, which it seems her "perfect" man may have been. If this story is real...

I slept with hubby on our first date. We met on alt.com, a BDSM dating site. We are an excellent match, lots in common, have a great relationship. Sex is phenomenal, as we are both experienced and know what we ourselves want and need, but we don't have sex all the time!

As pagans, sex is a sacrament more holy than anything I experienced in any church. It is a replication of the joy of creation, the sorrow of destruction, and everything in between that quantifies our existence as humans.

Hubby is more forgiving and polite than all the Xtian men I ever met before. Also waaaay more sexy!

It seems the Xtian sort of religious training expects people to deny a part of them which was created by their god, then suddenly they are expected to procreate, and they expect to enjoy the act automatically.

Sex is a learned skill, and takes practice. It also takes trust and knowledge of both yourself and your partner. Few religions address this side of the humanity of their followers. But it is the deepest portal to a spiritual experience available to us.

That's why the French call an orgasm a "little death". You should "see God" if you're doing it right!
quote #3
23
 drogue
2 years ago
My longest relationship ever was with a woman who, while I wouldn't call her asexual, she kind of leaned that way. Don't get me wrong, there was a lot of love there, and a certain kind of passion, but she was...I don't know, always "held back" physically, by something. I always supposed it was some internal struggle she had with sexual expression, a problem I never had. (Neither of us was or is religious, or had that upbringing.)

But over the course of nearly seven years, as a whole, sexual acts always seemed "granted" on her part. ("Granted" meaning, "Oh you and your sexy sex stuff...I'll grant your wish....")

I think the term "frigid" is an ugly word, but damn.

My problem is, that since we split, years ago, I've dated and been in relationships with nothing but women who love good, "seeing God" athletic sex, but nearly every one of them has been a toxic relationship for me, otherwise.

So I kind of understand this woman's struggle, whether it's real or hypothetical. There has to be a balance, right? Between things like tenderness and sacrifice, and raw animalistic expression?

Maybe I'm just in the wrong city.

Sorry for the "pity party," but the article just got me thinking.
quote #4
45
 maven
2 years ago
No one else is thinking that Mike was most likely in the closet?

I'm calling this a) a fake and b) probably not by a woman. Sorry. Just too many things a girl should know about her own body. Anyone THAT worried about what would and would not fit, would certainly be able to experiment with her own fingers.
quote #5
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33
 chinook
2 years ago
And that is why it's important to make sure the shoe fits first!
quote #6
33
 lynxears
2 years ago
I completely believe it's real, though a rare circumstance.

A couple I know that is soon to be married never, not once in the whole time they were dating, were completely alone. Intentionally chaperoned. So who knows if that spark of physical desire is there for them? I hope they do, at least.
quote #7
46
 donteatp...
2 years ago
« chinook : And that is why it's important to make sure the shoe fits first!
That is way more than I needed to know and yet somehow sexy in a dirty kind of way.
quote #8
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