You know, just when you've thought you've heard the dumbest crook story, someone comes along that makes the rest of the idiots look like Harvard graduates.

No. I got one..

On duty as a medic, we were called to a gas station for a shooting/robbery.

Cool.

So we get there and the 18 yr old robber was the one that was shot. In the arm. He pulled the gun out of his jacket to rob the clerk, hand on the trigger and popped himself in the process.

"Gimme all your...BAM...oh, never mind"

He was waiting and cuffed in the MEANEST police department in the counties cruiser.

I get him out, we cuff him to my cot and I start working on him.

He pisses and moans and freaks out over the IV I am gonna give him.

I said, "Dude...you just SHOT yourself in the arm with a 9mm handgun..this is a cakewalk compared to the damage you just did to yourself"

As I was torturing him, Mr Policeman comes charging in the ambulance.

"Why the F*CK did you leave a bag of crack in the back seat of my cruiser?"

My new friend didn't deny it was his..(as most do) but rather said...."Oh I just sell the stuff, I don't use it!"

DOH!
Drug dealers go away to jail longer than drug users.

they clean rental cars?