From a source like WIRED, I expected some more accurate information.

One of the most rediculous claims I hear when people talk about combat with zombies is the need for firearms. Unless you've got a shotgun and you're blasting their head off at close range, a gun is not going to do you any good.

There are so many manuals and articles like this one that are grossly misinforming the public. Please, whatever you do; know the basics of zombie survivial. The simple fact remains that zombies will not bleed to death (they're already dead). No matter how many bullets you plug into them, they will continue moving towards you.

The only exception to this is if you are able to destroy the head. Destroy the head and the zombie falls; specifically the brain. Just cutting the head off won't do any good, because the zombie can continue moving; you must blast or smash the brain to smitherines in order to destroy the zombie.

A shotgun is a great weapon for zombie combat for a few reasons; the first is that the blast from a shotgun is strong enough to destroy the head with one shot (given a close enough range, remember that shotgun damage lessens with distance); and if you run out of shells you have a nice;y balanced bludgeoning weapon.

In the event of a zombie attack, be sure to secure your home so that they cannot simply break in and eat your brains while you are sleeping. Be sure to stock up on food and water supplies board up your windows and doors.

The author spends far too much time pondering guns and the like.

Sure, a shotgun is fun, and if handled right it can be very, very funny indeed; but ask yourself these two questions - how long does it take to reload one of these? And can it run out of ammo?

Bladed weapons can be handy when used properly, but the severed appendages can continue to persue potential prey. If you choose to use a bladed weapon, be sure to chop everything up into tiny pieces, and cut the brain up a lot.

In one on one zombie encounters, or even 2 or 3 on one (since they move so slowly) a long bladed weapon is certainly a viable option. In large crowds however; when you find yourself swarmed, you will need a large blunt weapon. A shotgun, a sledgehammer, a baseball bat, etc.

The use of a car is not recommended. Sure it sounds like a good idea at first, but the problem is simple: 5 Zombies or more weighing around 70 kg each can be a pretty effective roadblock.

Zombies have one great weakness: They are dumb.
They used to be slow as well, but nowadays they can run as hell. (This probably has to do with the fact that "fresh" zombies are faster, because they still have enough energy to do fast things.)
But still, they are dumb.

Excellent point about motorized vehicles, spew. Remember also that in a motorized vehicle (unless it is a tank) you are surrounded by glass. Zombies can and will break through the glass.

I may be being a living stereotype, but if it's blunt weapon trauma, then I'd lean towards one of these:



Nothing like the crack of willow on skull to encapsulate an English summer in the height of a zombiepocalypse.

Yes, a cricket bat is also effective. Unfortunately, due to the flat edge of the cricket bat, however, they are more prone to snapping upon during periods of prolonged use.

Even better than either of the bats mentioned, I recommend a metallic bat.

I've seen this on here already..

With all this talk of supposed "experts" on the topic, I am shocked that one of the most effective methods available has not come up.

What is THE fundamental rule with almost (almost...) ANY monster whatsoever?

KILL IT WITH FIRE



Homemade flame throwers are both easy to use and easy to make. They are effective at close range (not too close) and far away. Plus, nothing comes closer to mass destruction than fire, with the exception of nukes (it's the only way to be sure).

An aluminium baseball bat with a weighted business end will never let you down. If it gets bent, it still works. In the extremely unlikely scenario that it snaps you've still got a stabbing weapon.

That said, I have discovered (because I went looking) that there are hockey sticks made out of kevlar. I would certainly consider a kevlar hockey stick.

On reflection, I think this might require some research. Some sort of fact finding mission to Haiti might be required. I'm sure none of us want to be caught with our pants off in a full on zombie invasion scenario.

Unless of course activities at the time of the invasion decree an absence of pants. Then it's part of the plan, I guess.

Kevlar hockey sticks? That sounds delightful.

I was going to mention that golfers have a decent selection of weapons as well, but this kevlar hockey stick news cancels out the validity of a bag of clubs (though still useful).

Flamethrowers are covered in the original article, but one thing that isn't mentioned there is that if you don't stop the thing, you've just made the problem worse - instead of it being a walking corpse intent on eating your brains it is a walking corpse intent on eating your brains and on fire.

Like RPGs, never use them indoors and only with caution outdoors. Have fun, but above all stay safe.

If you've seen it on here before, you really should have been prepared with better zombie related jokes.

(a few rules of thumb for you, epic: link to the original if you are calling 'dupes', if it's been more than 30 days don't bother calling dupes because it's technically not a dupe)

Wow. Golf clubs. That's a thought. A good sturdy Mashie Niblick by your side. Beautiful.

Makes my next suggestion of a pool cue seem a little lame.

A little medieval, but a flail or morning star would be good. Nunchucks, I suppose wpuld be a possibility too. The wooden kind. Not a Wii controller. Only resort to a Wii controller when your options are running really low.





(As a side note, I'd just like to point out that using "Mashie Niblick" legitimately here on Plime has long been an ambition of mine. I guess I can strike that off my To Do list now).

Bingo!

Guns, besides running out of ammo, are difficult to get the constant headshots.

Why a machete may seem like a sure bet, anybody that has used one to cut through brush, knows they tire you out quickly. Besides, they will dull quickly, and chances are, you are going to get it stuck in some bone matter. Any blade, for that matter, will likely get stuck.

Flamethrower, as mentioned, will just give you burning zombies.

Until laser guns become a possible option, give me a nice size chain saw with an aluminum bat for back up.

Max Brooks put together and up to date handbook for it.

I got my copy on audio through Emusic.

And what an awesome book it is... Double Upvote*


*Double upvote not technically possible. It's the thought that counts.

I also have that book, but I don't agree with a lot of what Brooks has to say in it. Many of his suggested weapons are illogical.

After reading Mr. Brooks' zombie survival guide, I came to the conclusion that he was uninterested in the survival of mankind. He purposely printed several false pieces of information on the hope that he and he alone would survive a zombie apocolypse. Well I will have nothing to do with it.

Actually, as far as guns go, one of the better firearms would be a .22 Rimfire. According to Max Brooks, the bullet will rattle around inside the zombie's skull, effectively turning the brain into a bloody pulp.

For melee, katanas. They can cut through a tank, I swear! I saw it on a video!

I can't really say that I would trust my life in the hands of a morning star/flail. After all, they are built to get stuck in opponents, which of course leaves you with one seriously PO'd zombie and you defenseless against the others. The same problem would occur with a chainsaw, because eventually it would get stuck in the brain.

I would personally choose a scythe. It has a long range, no ammo required, and if the blade breaks, you still have a whacking instrument. Maybe add a flamethrower if I don't need to move quickly.