Umm... can you say "p-whipped"?

Nah, it wasn't about that. He was closer to her family and wanted to take her name. I think it's more a matter of him associating himself with her family more than being whipped. It's pretty cool actually - I've never heard of a man taking his wife's surname before.

Um...can you say 'sweet and loving gesture to his wife'?

I've seen this story a few places, and the comment everywhere seems to be "well THAT guy's whipped!" Not necessarily - what if you really like your wife's family and really hate your own? As a married guy, I see nothing wrong with this.

(Yeah, I know people will read this and think I'm whipped too, but my opinion is that there is no good husband who people would not occasionally see as whipped. When it comes to husbands, people seem to lose the distinction between being thoughtful and being whipped.)

Hmm... after careful consideration of your three comments...

I'm going with whipped.

;-)

it is crazy that both parties spent so much money fighting this. Still it is good that the law was changed. The former law made no sense whatsoever.

I know some states allow you to take any name you wish when you get married.

My husband used to joke about taking my last name when we got married, but when I asked him to actually do it, he balked. Loser.

I kept my own until we had a child together, and then changed it to his, because I wanted us all to have a family name. I still actually hassle him to change it, or at least combine our two names and come up with a new one. And I flip flop on wanting to go back to my own name. I just can't get used to his...

Does that mean women are traditionally whipped, then?

Nope.

I'm trying. It just won't come out right. Every time I try, it sounds like "whipped".

After months of in-depth research, surveying millions of people worldwide, and crunching numbers using all the computing power of NASA, the Pentagon, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, I have determined - scientifically - that vexingmodstwo is right.

This guy is seriously p-whipped.


Too bad for him that now they're married, she'll stop putting out. (except for select holidays, birthdays, and their anniversary)

I mean really... All this for what? To buck the system? You know that's all this is.

Now California (and then every other state) will have to revise all their applications, forms, records, etc to allow for men to choose to take the last name of their wives. How much money will be wasted on it? Think about all the forms and other documents that have been printed out that will be shredded and replaced with the new version...

Oh and another unintended consequence regarding forms and records: Now there needs to be a new field added for the husband's "maiden name"... but of course there will be the need for meetings to figure out the new term. A man isn't a "maiden". So "bachelor name"?

Millions of dollars thrown out the window because ONE guy clearly has a problem with his dad. Are you friggin kidding me?

There are certain societal norms that harm no one. This is one of them. Somewhere along the way this tool turned in his man card and I guarantee you that in about 5 years this chick is going to banging some other guy because her husband is a wuss.

I said something and now I'm deleting it.

But just so you know, f**k you.

Women are not property.

I am not Mrs. Zach Lastname.

Not everyone has a good family.

Tradition is pointless.

Men and women are equal.

The law is sexist.

There is no logical reason for a man to not be allowed to take his wife's last name.

I'm getting married in 17 days, and I'm not taking his last name. Assume the rest.

If you look at any of my comments you'll note that at no point did I ever say ONCE that a woman should be required to take her husband's last name.

Oh, and Congratulations!

In this case I think the system needed a bit of bucking. A woman isn't required by law to take her husbands last name when marrying (it's still considered outside the norm when she doesn't though),but if she does it doesn't cost her hundreds of dollars to do so. Why should a guy have to pay hundreds of dollars to do what his wife could do for free? Simply because he's taking her name instead of the other way around? To all the guys who claim he's whipped (it does seem like it's mostly guys saying it), think about it. Maybe this guys father is awful and the family name is just another connection to a horrible person. Taking his new wife's family's name is simply a way to bond and even more fully accept them as his new family.

And kudo's to imnotyoo for both your post and your upcoming wedding!

Well said!

What if his last name was "Arselicker" or something along those lines? Would he still be p-whipped for wanting to change it?

Admit it, you're sexist.

But so am I. So are all men. But I'm trying to change the system.

Just because you're a man doesn't mean you're automatically sexist.
By trying to change the system, you are proving that.

But if you are a man who can't *see* that these things are sexist, you are complicit.