My mom had just got home from work and my dad was to lazy to cook so she had to cook. I went into the kitchen to hang with her, while I was sitting there at the table she and I sighed really loud. Just out of coincidence. She turned and looked at me and said to me " Are you making fun of me?" She then called my father into the kitchen and he kicked my ass. I did not go around her for 2 weeks.

I was minding my own business during third grade work time and a girl behind me started kicking my desk. It really was distracting. I told the girl to stop. She didn't and started kicking harder to spite me (she ended up getting knocked up in 8th grade). I went to the teacher to ask for the teacher's help. The teacher looked at me and said I was being a tattle tail (she used to have a raccoon tail that she'd make you wear if you were being a tattle tail, but I think the Administration put the kibosh on that). The teacher then said she was going to put my name in "The Book," a little register of students who acted up. There were repercussions from having your name in the book, but I can't remember. I was shocked that she'd do this to me. On the verge of tears, I sighed and flopped my arms to sides and walked back to my desk. The teacher yells "stop! Come back." I go to her and she says, "do you know why I called you back here?" I say no, a tear perched on the lid of my eye. She tells me that I was being "exasperated. Do you know what means?" I say "no," and she puts a mark next to my name in The Book and tells me to go back to my desk. A mark was worse than just having your name in The Book. Another mark and my parents would be called. I felt awful. I went back to my desk, put my head inside, and cried.

Girls can get pregnant five years after kicking your desk?

Yes, I am that virile.

Yep. Hmmm...Summer of 93 through 94.

If you were there in that time block, did you know the Eds?

I am assuming this means being punished when I didn't do something wrong, not being punished for something I thought was a small transgression. (Half of the folks posting here is luck I wasn't their dad, LOL.)

For the most part, I got away with enough that I think I came out ahead, in the long run.

My best story:

When I was 3 or 4, my sisters and I were staying with my Mom's friend while my folks were gone for a weekend. One of her "I am a super baby-sitter" activities was to take us to the movies. The movie "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" had just come out, and somehow I latched on to the name. (For those that do not know, this is a KIDS movie, not an Asian porn flick.) I started with the "I wanna..." chant, like only a 3 year old can.

Unfortunately, my Mom's friend had never heard of the movie and didn't really know what I was saying. This led to getting my mouth washed out with LAVA soap for the very first time and we didn't get to see any movie.

When my folks got home, she told them what happened. When asked what I said, the answer was "It is so bad I can't repeat it." This led to my second flavorful experience with LAVA.

AFTER having my mouth washed out with soap (TWICE) my older sister told Mom what I said. She didn't know it was a movie, and neither did Mom. Nobody could figure out what it meant. You can't just ask the 3 year old, so she let it pass. Apparently I had "learned my lesson".

Yeah, not so much. I was about 12 when you were in FoCo.

OK, one time I got what was coming, but it was funny:

We were visiting my Mom's Mom. I do not know what possessed me, but I thought it would be the perfect time to be a smart-ass and talk back to my Mom. (I was 10 or 11, I think.) I don't even remember what I said. I didn't swear, or anything, just being defiant. I guess I thought Gramma would protect me.

Gramma didn't. I took one look at their faces and hit the front door at a dead run. Mom was less than 10 steps behind.

Some geographical information. Gramma lived in Oregon, and next to her house were 2 very large trees, a Plum and a really tall evergreen of some sort. I had never been able to climb the evergreen because the lowest branches were too high.

Well, this day I hit that tree running and managed to grab the low branches. I climb as high as I could. I looked back down, expecting to see Mom standing under the tree, yelling and screaming.

Surprise!! She was two branches below me and still climbing! She beat me with her shoe until I fell out of the tree. Then she made me go get a ladder so SHE could get down. Then she whooped me again because I made her ruin her clothes.

Ahhhh, good times.

Your mom sounds like that chick from Terminator 3.

I got licks from the vice-principal in high school when we had a class in the home-ec room/lab/kitchen due to some temporary over-crowding. Whenever there was a teacher meeting or some such, they would have the home-ec classes bakes cookies and brownies, etc for refreshments. A few of us discovered some fresh chocolate chip cookies in the refrigerator and helped ourselves. Someone else squealed on us and we got to lean over the chair in the VP's office.

In school when I was about 13 or 14. I had a cup of water on my desk, cos I had a bad cough. I have a bad chest too, so I was quite worried it would get worse. Our chaplin had us for religon, and it was the last class of the day. The person in front of me pushed their chair back, and knocked my cup over. It went all over the table, and onto my coat. I asked if I could go get a cloth to wipe the table. He said no, I could move to the front and sit at another desk. I then asked if I could put my coat on the radiator to dry off. He said, no, that "school was not the place to dry coats". So I was pretty cross at this stage, and didn't really participate in the class, just sat there and kept quiet. At the end, he called me up to speak to him, and said that my behaviour was terrible and very unusual, and he would have to report me to my year head. I just lost it and told him about how unreasonable he was, and that I already had a cold and to not let me dry my coat, and make me walk home in a wet coat was daft, and if I caught a flu it would be his fault. I cursed at him and told him I wouldn't have been so sulky if he had just treated me fairly. Then I said "you can just f**k off!" I walked off bawling my eyes out, and all the class came up around me. He snuck off and never did report me. Though I wouldn't have blamed him for the language I'd used! But he knew I was right. *smug smile*

You slept with her, so you should know!

I hear she spanked your ass and left you beggin for more.

The dumbest thing I have ever got in trouble for (that I remember because my parent cn remember every thing I have every done bad but nothing good :-) becuase their d**ks) was when i left something in my pockets that was metal I think and my step mom swore thats why the drying machine blew up because it couldn't be the quilt of lint or the tubbing messed up noooo it had to be me... anywhere it killed her dog... twisted ending I know.

See this thread Well..now you don't have to travel to the link.

I went to Hunter College High School in NYC. There was going to be an anti-Vietnam war protest at Hunter College and my motley crew (called "The Conspiracy")and I were planning to be active participants.

My father was a Sergeant Detective for NYPD (Homicide). He had an old police helmet that we used to go go-kart and mini-bike riding (yeah, a spoiled childhood!). I wanted to wear it at the protest. I asked him if I could take it to school--didn't tell him why. He told me no. Mind you, my dad's nickname among my friends was "Pistol Pete" since he was so strict with me.

The rebel in me took over the morning of the protest. I snuck into my parents room while they were sleeping, grabbed the helmet and wore it at the protest (We closed down Hunter College!!!).

Two members of New York's Finest noticed my chapeau, and asked me where I got it. I told them it was my father's. They said it was illegal for me to be wearing it and they could either call my father to verify ownership, or take it from me and turn it in to the precinct. Naturally, I handed the helmet over.

I realized a short while later that my dad would notice the helmet was missing the next time we would go riding. So, The Conspiracy and I head off to the 20th Precinct (where my father was once stationed). They hung out on the steps reading "The Quotations of Chairman Mao" while I went inside.

I asked the desk sergeant if anyone had turned in a helmet. As I was standing there, the 2 officers that had the helmet walked in and loudly stated "We found her with this".

Busted. They put me in a room (not a cell) while they called my dad. I was grounded for a month and sentenced to scrub black heel marks off the new linoleum floor in the basement playroom (a very very big room).

A few years ago, I went over to my Mom's for lunch. She was still on her way back home from work, but sent me a text message:
"Please boil potatoes for three [o'clock]; I'm bringing fish for lunch."

I instantly answered her message with what I still regard one of the best and wittiest puns I ever made:
"Why, will the fish have lunch, too?"

For some reason, she went absolutely mad. I didn't get any fish that day or the following weeks.


This week, on christmas eve, we were having fish again. I just had to dig out that story and ask my Mom whether she still couldn't see the brilliance of that pun. She laughed a little, then didn't talk a lot any more, and I didn't get any more fish that night.

skateboarding is not a crime.

waxing and grinding public property is.

Lol umm wags, I would punish you for that too. That could really hurt someone, lol but I got punished cuz I forgot to do a load of laundry. THAT SUCKED! lol

Dumbest thing I've ever been punished for.

Well, in third grade I went to a Catholic school, and one of the nuns really pissed me off, so I flipped her the bird. That was pretty dumb. I got punished too.

[edit]
Damn it. I had no idea this thread was so old, or that I had already told this story in the thread. Who the hell bumped this?

In the second grade, while sitting in class and minding my own business I was chewing on my hair. My teacher didn't like this. She told me not to. I stopped as most kids would do. And when she wasn't looking, I had the hair back in my mouth whether I realized it or not I do not know. She got mad at me and pulled my hair into a ponytail with a rubber band. She was not in the slightest gentle with doing this. I was a "latch-key-kid" and my key was on yarn around my neck. When she grabbed up my hair, and yes she did GRAB it was quite brutal in the mind of a 7 y/o--she grabbed that yarn as well. My mother had to cut the yarn and rubber band out of my hair. It took a good 20 minutes of fiddling to get it all the way out, and as I recall there was quite a few strands of hair on the yarn and rubber band.

Another incident with a teacher was in the 11th grade, when a teacher busted me for chewing gum. Of all the dumb things! GUM! I wasn't popping bubbles or even smacking. She just had it in for me. She wanted me to write 1400 word essay.

Here's what I wrote:

1 paragraph of the chapter we working on...

middle: telling why this punishment was totally stupid.
end: last few sentences of the chapter.

She never confronted me on it. I doubt she ever looked at it. I could have cared less.

is "bugger" really bad? a friend of mine who was born in britain (she only lived there til she was 10) said that "bloody" is worse than f**k. is that true?