Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down in their tent for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Holmes questioned.Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe Saturn is in Leo. Logically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. "Is that all?" Holmes asked. "Yes," Watson replied. "Why, am I missing something?" Holmes was quiet for a moment, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen the bloody tent!"
Australian Tank Rampage Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
A man has been arrested after an armoured personnel carrier (APC) was taken on a rampage in Sydney's western suburbs.
Comments: 0 Score: [-] 36 [+].
"Jogging Nude Makes Me Feel Alive" Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
Russell Rotta has been jogging in the buff six miles a day since he was a teenager. Cops took a dim view of his exercise routine and arrested him for indecent exposure.
Comments: 1 Score: [-] -34 [+].
Who's Laughing Now?!? Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
When his hand is possessed by pesky demons, Ash cuts it off (and replaces it with a chainsaw). Now THAT is badass. Not for the easily squicked.
Comments: 15 Score: [-] 192 [+].
Basra Badgered By Badgers Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
British forces have denied rumours that they released a plague of ferocious badgers into the Iraqi city of Basra . . . is it just me, or does this sound like a Monty Python sketch?
Comments: 9 Score: [-] 128 [+].
Bush Lied. Soldiers Died. Lawmakers Freaked. Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
Arizona lawmakers voted to stop the sale of anti-war t-shirts featuring the names of soldiers who have died in the Iraq conflict. The man selling the shirts refuses to quit, calling on his First Amendment rights.
Comments: 4 Score: [-] 105 [+].
The World's Biggest Dog is Still Growing Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
Standing over six feet tall on his hind legs, "Samson", a Newfie/Mastiff cross, is likely to get bigger still.
Comments: 0 Score: [-] 82 [+].
Nevermind Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
I was beaten to the post by 1 minute.
Comments: 0 Score: [-] -32 [+].
PETArded Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
Remember Bonsai Kittens, the ancient internet hoax site about growing deformed kittens inside bottles? Apparently not everyone is in on the joke.
Comments: 17 Score: [-] 233 [+].
Creationists Threaten Evolutionary Biologists Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
University of Colorado police are investigating threatening emails and notes sent to biology labs on the Boulder campus.
Comments: 15 Score: [-] 96 [+].
Hell Boy Fights to Attend Catholic School Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
St. Peter the Apostle, an Australian Catholic School, objected to the enrollment 5 year old Max Hell because of his last name.
Comments: 1 Score: [-] -26 [+].
2 Billion Mice Overrun China Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
The trouble began when the Yangtze River flooded and drove the mice out of their holes - now the ravenous rodents are wreaking havoc across the countryside.
Comments: 3 Score: [-] 54 [+].
Obese Folks More Likely to Survive Heart Attacks Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
. . . and yet, being overweight makes it more likely you'll have a heart attack in the first place. That's irony, Alanis.
Comments: 3 Score: [-] 125 [+].
Mapinguary: The Amazonian Sasquatch Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
Is this vicious South American cryptid just a legend, or are sighting actually of a surviving giant ground sloth?
Comments: 0 Score: [-] 45 [+].
HIV+ Toddler Banned From Pool Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
2 yr. old Caleb Glover, who was born with AIDS, was barred from entering a public pool by some folks who need more up-to-date health education.
Comments: 7 Score: [-] 137 [+].
HIV+ Toddler Banned From Pool Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
2 year old Caleb Glover, who was born with AIDS and likely has less than seven years to live, was banned from an RV swimming pool by some folks who need a bit more health education.
Comments: 0 Score: [-] 15 [+].
Quackery Hinders AIDS Efforts in Africa Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
A combination of lax gov't standards (epitomized by a Health minister who thinks garlic kills HIV) and a superstitious, poorly educated population have hamstrung efforts to control the spread of AIDS in Africa and led to scammers selling homemade "immune boosters" in old Coke bottles.
Comments: 2 Score: [-] 89 [+].
Blame Spoiled Rotten Brats on Mr. Rogers Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
Is the genial kid's show host's feel good patter responsible for a generation of brats who think they're the center of the universe? One finance prof. who's been hit up by his students to raise their grades believes so.
Comments: 6 Score: [-] -13 [+].
4 Rare White Tiger Cubs Die Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
All four white Bengal tiger cubs born this week at a traveling zoo exhibit died within a few hours of one another.
Comments: 4 Score: [-] 138 [+].
4 Rare White Tiger Cubs Die Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
All four white Bengal tiger cubs born this week at a traveling zoo exhibit died within a few hours of one another.
Comments: 0 Score: [-] 15 [+].
Bookie Put Money on Wrong Al Gore Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
If you're going to bet Al Gore will be arrested, be certain to specifiy which one - as this poor guy discovered.
Comments: 0 Score: [-] 122 [+].
Another Stereotype Bites The Dust Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
Turns out when you count the words, women don't talk more than men.
Comments: 9 Score: [-] 112 [+].
Drunk & Disorderly Transvestite Firefighter Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
Arrested for drunk driving, he accepted a plea deal and was not charged for stumbling around a park wearing a blonde wig and bikini.
Comments: 0 Score: [-] 36 [+].
11 Year Old DUI Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
A drunk 11 year old girl led police on dangerous high-speed chase ending in a crash. Her parents must be so proud.
Comments: 7 Score: [-] 165 [+].
Hands Off! Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
A Baltimore woman is on a crusade to end the intrusive and unsanitary custom of handshaking. "I don't have obsessive-compulsive disorder," she says, "but I am a bit fanatical about my germs."
Comments: 5 Score: [-] 63 [+].
The Good News: Chocolate Lowers Blood Pressure Posted: 2 years ago by VooDooPeacock
The bad news: it takes an amount less than two Hershey's Kisses to do so.
Comments: 4 Score: [-] 36 [+].