I was here a long time ago. Then I stopped being here. Now I'm here again, at least while I'm actually here.
"The Winter Poop Elf does not exist." Posted: 10 months ago by Wingnut
A Chicago Tribune columnist takes the time to set people straight on their Elfin beliefs.
Comments: 2 Score: [-] 97 [+].
When it feels REALLY good to poop Posted: 10 months ago by Wingnut
"A 70-year-old man came in complaining of fatigue. It turned out that after each defecation he felt the sense of orgasm..."
Comments: 5 Score: [-] 535 [+].
Starchy Jesus Says Quit the Cancer Sticks Posted: 10 months ago by Wingnut
A couple claims to have found an image of Jesus burned into a potato chip. Their kids think it's a sign that they should stop smoking.
Comments: 7 Score: [-] 133 [+].
Some salt with your coffee? Posted: 10 months ago by Wingnut
85C Bakery Cafe, a coffee chain in Taiwan more popular than Starbucks, started serving sea salt coffee in December - and it has quickly become the chain's best selling beverage.
Comments: 3 Score: [-] 114 [+].
More Pooh for you! Posted: 11 months ago by Wingnut
Winnie the Pooh and his friends will return to bookshelves on October 5 in "Return to the Hundred Acre Wood", the first authorized sequel to the original A. A. Milne stories (notwithstanding a hundred or so Disney stories).
Comments: 1 Score: [-] 396 [+].
Smarter men have better sperm Posted: 11 months ago by Wingnut
Recent research says that the smarter a man is, the more sperm he produces and the better they swim. Stephen Hawking is now officially a stone cold pimp.
Comments: 9 Score: [-] 447 [+].
Kanye West's mother's plastic surgeon jailed for DUI... Slow news day? Posted: 11 months ago by Wingnut
I'm not posting this because I'm interested in Kanye West, his mother, or her doctor. Rather, I'm fascinated that a news source thinks that a celebrity's relative's doctor is worth reporting about.
In unrelated news, I hear that Paris Hilton's nephew's second-grade teacher is having a garage sale.
Comments: 2 Score: [-] 148 [+].
The secret of levitation: quantum physics Posted: 11 months ago by Wingnut
U.S. scientists have figured out how to use quantum mechanics to make nanoparticles levitate. Microscopic flying car is now one step closer to reality.
Comments: 0 Score: [-] 265 [+].
Palin blasts media for going easy on Kennedy Posted: 11 months ago by Wingnut
Sarah Palin told a documentary filmmaker that she thinks the media are giving Caroline Kennedy an easy time in her pursuit of a NY Senate seat because of her social status. Gun-toting, elk hunting women with pregnant teen daughters everywhere yell "Darn right!"
Comments: 4 Score: [-] 98 [+].
Polaroid goes digital Posted: 11 months ago by Wingnut
Polaroid is releasing a digital camera later this year that will take pictures AND immediately spit out 2 x 3 inch prints directly from the camera. In true Polaroid style, the images take up to a minute to show up on the paper.
Welcome back to the days of waving fresh photos to make the images show up faster.
Comments: 5 Score: [-] 610 [+].
What a bitch! Posted: 11 months ago by Wingnut
Bandit the beagle took such a shine to the new kitten her owners brought home that she even started nursing him... even though she'd never been pregnant.
Comments: 2 Score: [-] 324 [+].
Testing. Testing. Is this thing on? Posted: 12 months ago by Wingnut
Greatest comic strip ever
Comments: 0 Score: [-] 296 [+].
Ashlee Simpson hates her baby Posted: 1 year ago by Wingnut
Bronx Mowgli. She named her first child with Pete Wentz "Bronx Mowgli". If that's not parental abuse, then I don't know what is.
Comments: 9 Score: [-] 308 [+].
Not just another heartless teenager Posted: 1 year ago by Wingnut
A South Florida teen was kept alive by doctors for over 100 days WITHOUT A HEART while she waited for a transplant.
Comments: 4 Score: [-] 414 [+].
Super Secure Lego Safe Posted: 1 year ago by Wingnut
This safe, constructed with Lego bricks, requires 1 of over 305 billion possible combinations to open and even has a motion detecting alarm. So your valuables are safe.
Unless the safecracker has a hacksaw. Or fire.
But nothing's perfect, right?
Comments: 4 Score: [-] 312 [+].
The return of Inspector Gadget Posted: 1 year ago by Wingnut
DiC Entertainment is planning to resurrect the Inspector Gadget franchise with a new cartoon in which he chases... ghosts?
Comments: 3 Score: [-] 157 [+].
Scientists hunt wimps underground Posted: 1 year ago by Wingnut
The wimps, short for "weakly interacting massive particles", are believed to hold the key to understanding dark matter. And where do you find dark matter? Someplace dark, of course, like a cave 3300 feet underground...
Comments: 1 Score: [-] 84 [+].
Sheriff doesn't want deputies carrying guns while drinking Posted: 1 year ago by Wingnut
Responding to a spate of shootings by allegedly intoxicated off-duty deputies, Sheriff Lee Baca plans to implement a policy banning deputies from carrying firearms when they are drinking.
Oh, and we're not talking about some small midwestern town here. We're talking about LOS ANGELES County.
Comments: 1 Score: [-] 166 [+].
Kitten rescued from deep fryer Posted: 1 year ago by Wingnut
Yes, it was in a Chinese restaurant.
No, the restaurant owner did not deliberately put it there.
Comments: 7 Score: [-] 435 [+].
Driving from Paris to New York Posted: 1 year ago by Wingnut
Sounds pretty hard to do, what with that ocean in between. But three biofueled jeeps plan to do it by taking the scenic route - driving across the ice covered Bering Strait in February.
Comments: 1 Score: [-] 88 [+].
Limber lips love loopy language Posted: 1 year ago by Wingnut
15 contestants vied for top honors at the International Tongue Twister Contest this past weekend. The grand prize? A jar of pickled peppers, of course.
Comments: 1 Score: [-] 86 [+].
Team says dead hockey player is "eligible to be drafted next year" Posted: 1 year ago by Wingnut
The New York Rangers want a compensatory draft pick to make up for the loss of 1st round pick Alexei Cherepanov, who died while playing in Russia. But league rules say teams only get compensated if a player becomes a free agent or re-eligible for the draft. The Rangers argue that nothing keeps other teams from drafting the dead player... other than the whole "being dead" thing.
Comments: 1 Score: [-] 130 [+].
Gimme all your money. And your viagra. Posted: 1 year ago by Wingnut
Crimes committed by persons over 65 have doubled in Japan over the past five years. Next time you hide grandpa's dentures, he's gonna bust a cap in yo' ass.
Comments: 0 Score: [-] 37 [+].
Kittens rescued from dumpster Posted: 1 year ago by Wingnut
Employees at a Fort Wayne restaurant are being called heroes after rescuing four kittens that were inside a garbage bag placed in their dumpster.
Comments: 1 Score: [-] 28 [+].
Let the Presidential second-guessing begin Posted: 1 year ago by Wingnut
Rahm Emanuel, recently appointed by Barack Obama to be his White House Chief of Staff, served on Freddie Mac's board of directors when it misreported profits to deceive investors from 2000 - 2002.
Comments: 8 Score: [-] 170 [+].