I am Kelli and I have thoughts and opinions. Good ones, too.
The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks Posted: 2 months ago by abandonedcouch
You "know" you've seen them. Those "signs" where "people" misuse "quotation marks" in both "horrible" and "hilarious" ways.
Well, here's a "blog" that's "dedicated" to "them."
Comments: 4 Score: [-] 165 [+].
Stay classy, OC Register Posted: 3 months ago by abandonedcouch
In which sports writer Mark Whicker writes an incredibly tasteless article about the horrors Jaycee Dugard experienced during her 18 year imprisonment. And by "horrors" he means sports moments she missed out on.
The article in question (check out his pisspoor apology for an extra dose of rage).
Comments: 3 Score: [-] 368 [+].
What not to wear beyond your teens Posted: 5 months ago by abandonedcouch
Any ladies in here over 19? Still wearing bright colors, mini skirts, sequins and high heels? Well, according to this MSN UK article, those sort of things are for TEENAGERS ONLY.
Time for us old bags to dig out our mom jeans and subdued florals, eh?
Comments: 4 Score: [-] 172 [+].
Australian fire suspect charged amid public fury Posted: 10 months ago by abandonedcouch
MELBOURNE, Australia - Authorities charged a man Friday with lighting one of the wildfires that killed a total of more than 180 people in Australia, and whisked him into protective custody to guard him from public fury.
He's also charged with possessing child pornography. I think a little public fury is just what he needs.
Comments: 4 Score: [-] 454 [+].
Private Plane Crashes in Wayne, WV - Multiple Fatalities Reported Posted: 10 months ago by abandonedcouch
“I just heard a very large crash and saw the power lines shake and the electric went out,” Amanda Smith said. “My husband ran in with my daughter because they were sleigh riding and said, ‘Call 911. A plane crashed.’”
For those of you not in the area, the snow is pouring in. I can't imagine anyone attempting to land a private plane in this weather.
Comments: 1 Score: [-] 88 [+].
Satan Turns Four Posted: 10 months ago by abandonedcouch
Satan Turns Four by the multitalented Andrea Zuill. Andrea, aka Badbird, is also known for her awesome embroidery skillz and her blog.
Websites may be NFSW due to stitched/painted boobies.
Comments: 1 Score: [-] 214 [+].
Mourned Posted: 11 months ago by abandonedcouch
A member of the military accompanies Rachel Guy-Latham at a viewing of the body of her husband, Sergeant Thomas Lee Latham, 23, who was killed by an IED in Baghdad, Iraq in March.
A Time Magazine Photo of the Year. Click the image to view the entire gallery.
Comments: 4 Score: [-] 387 [+].
Wreaths At Arlington Posted: 12 months ago by abandonedcouch
Morrill Worcester initially brought 4,000 surplus wreaths from the holiday decoration company he owns to adorn gravesites at Arlington in 1992.
Every year since then he has set aside several thousand wreaths especially for that purpose, driving to Arlington in December with a trailer full of decorations and dozens of volunteers to distribute them throughout the cemetery.
Comments: 2 Score: [-] 508 [+].
Bah Humbug Posted: 12 months ago by abandonedcouch
Christmas is all about making dogs wear stupid hats.
Comments: 0 Score: [-] 60 [+].
Election spurs 'hundreds' of race threats, crimes Posted: 1 year ago by abandonedcouch
Cross burnings. Schoolchildren chanting "Assassinate Obama." Black figures hung from nooses. Racial epithets scrawled on homes and cars.
Incidents around the country referring to President-elect Barack Obama are dampening the postelection glow of racial progress and harmony, highlighting the stubborn racism that remains in America.
Ugly stuff. I'd hoped we were [but knew we weren't] better than this.
Comments: 1 Score: [-] 44 [+].
Alaska's largest newspaper endorses Obama Posted: 1 year ago by abandonedcouch
Another "ouch" moment for McCain-Palin: The Anchorage Daily News declares Governer Palin "too risky" a choice of VP.
Comments: 5 Score: [-] 161 [+].
The 10 Best Nickelodeon Shows You’ve Forgotten All About Posted: 1 year ago by abandonedcouch
The greatest part of all this is the YouTube clips of all the shows' intros [including what I'm pretty sure is a full episode of David the Gnome]. Great memories!
PS: IT'S PICNIC TIME!!
Comments: 14 Score: [-] 194 [+].
Telemarketers quit over Barack Obama-Bill Ayers calls Posted: 1 year ago by abandonedcouch
MADISON, Wis. — Telemarketers in Wisconsin and West Virginia asked to make calls bashing Barack Obama and linking him to 1960s radical William Ayers quit their jobs rather than read the required script.
Comments: 3 Score: [-] 71 [+].
Priest and former drug counselor charged with marijuana felony Posted: 1 year ago by abandonedcouch
A South Charleston priest and a member of his congregation who is also a former drug counselor have both been charged with felony possession of marijuana with intent to deliver.
Comments: 1 Score: [-] 71 [+].
The green ones make you horny! [SFW] Posted: 2 years ago by abandonedcouch
Mars Snackfood U.S. is proclaiming green the new color of love this Valentine's Day as the brand celebrates the myths, rumors and innuendo surrounding green M&M'S® Chocolate Candies. In support of this bold and fun declaration, retail establishments across the country will display limited edition all-green M&M'S® amidst a sea of traditional red and pink products.
Comments: 0 Score: [-] 99 [+].
Infant died of suffocation, blood loss in dog attack Posted: 2 years ago by abandonedcouch
LEXINGTON, Ky. (AP) _ Authorities say a 6-week-old baby in Lexington died of suffocation and blood loss after being attacked by the family's Jack Russell terrier.
Comments: 0 Score: [-] 112 [+].
Happy Birthday Internets! Love, Google Posted: 2 years ago by abandonedcouch
The current Google logo is rife with awesomeness, celebrating both the New Year and the adoption of TCP/IP protocol, the basis of almost all internet communications.
blogspot has more here.
Comments: 1 Score: [-] 240 [+].
Victim of false rape claim must pay £12,500 for bed and board in jail Posted: 2 years ago by abandonedcouch
Hey, sorry you had to spend the last three years behind bars for something you didn't do. Oh, and here's your bill.
Comments: 12 Score: [-] 406 [+].
Body Believed to Be Missing Marshall Student Found Posted: 2 years ago by abandonedcouch
Leah Hickman's been missing since last Friday. Last night the HPD found the remains of a young woman in a crawl space in Leah's apartment building.
For being a small Appalachian town, Hton has certainly had more than its fair share of tragedies.
Comments: 1 Score: [-] 170 [+].
Two years after US soldier's death, widow has his son Posted: 2 years ago by abandonedcouch
"He looks so much like his father, it's kind of scary," his mother Kathleen Smith told AFP, as she talked about her unusual decision to have her soldier-husband's baby posthumously, using semen frozen before he was deployed.
Debate, people. Would you or wouldn't you?
Comments: 14 Score: [-] 305 [+].
Police: Farmer Fatally Shoots Boy Stealing Hay Posted: 2 years ago by abandonedcouch
PORTSMOUTH, Ohio -- A farmer said he was just trying to scare two boys who stole a bale of his hay when he fired his gun at their truck, killing one.
The article {or blurb, more like it] doesn't mention that the farmer didn't even own the hay in question; it belonged to his neighbor. Sad stuff.
Comments: 5 Score: [-] 156 [+].
ZetaCreations Animal Dildos Posted: 2 years ago by abandonedcouch
No, not dildos for animals...dildos of animals [animals' boyparts, to be specific]. This takes the furry fetish to a whole new level of ick. Oh, and they also sell clocks. With, you know, aroused German Shepherds and stuff.
Probably not safe for work or your brain.
Comments: 15 Score: [-] 214 [+].