stats

last online: 12 hours ago
joined: 2 years ago

biography

Some facts about donteatpoop:

donteatpoop once deleted plime.

donteatpoop slept with all your mamas!

80% of donteatpoop's bodyweight is his dick!

donteatpoop actually can believe its not butter.

donteatpoop invent modern religion, sliced bread, and the disco.

donteatpoop doesnt follow his own advice

Once donteatpoop was propositioned by a prostitute, but in the end she payed him. That prostitute turned out to be your mother.

Once when I was in a time of great turmoil, I turned to donteatpoop for advice. He gave me the wisest, most sound advice I'd ever heard and I hold to it still do this day. I don't remember exactly what it was he said, but trust me, it transcended this earthly level.

donteatpoop is the 'Lord of the Ring' around the toilet.

donteatpoop built MacGuyver out of a paper clip, a light bulb, and 3 sheets of paper.

donteatpoop once visited the Virgin Islands.
They are now known simply as 'The Islands'.

donteatpoop isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like donteatpoop

There is no such thing as a lesbian... only a girl who hasn't met donteatpoop.

donteatpoop invented lol. Before donteatpoop, it was just li.

He also once killed his imaginary friend for banging his wife. No charges were filed because no body was ever found.

There was no such thing as the the big bang. Thats how powerful donteatpoop's farts are.

donteatpoop once saw a man about to eat poop. That man was Stephen Hawking.

donteatpoop has a hidden agenda to take control of the world wide web...it starts here.

donteatpoop eats glass and shits out sand.

donteatpoop once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

donteatpoop's penis won a 'Roller Disco' competition in 1979.

donteatpoop runs Vista on 1987 IBM PC and when it blue screens, he glares at it and it starts to run perfectly again.

Plime goes down every couple of weeks just to run a script that upvotes all of donteatpoop posts.

donteatpoop started these facts because he is a narcissistic megalomaniac who also happens to have a streak of vanity.

donteatpoop once started a vanity thread for himself.

donteatpoop was vain once, but then he realized it was impossible to be vain, when you are so amazing.

donteatpoop once shat out a terd so large that a colony of beavers came to him and tried to purchase it for a damn they were contracted to build.

donteatpoop once hit a home run that traveled so far into space that Han Solo mistook it for a stray blaster shot, and was the reason why he killed Greedo.

donteatpoop is his own father.

DEP once won the lottery, and used the money to hire a team to write a bunch of DEP jokes but they decided he wasn't paying them enough so they changed DEP to chuck norris.
He killed them all slowly.

DEP beat the Sun in a staring contest

DEP can lick his own elbows. At the same time

Bigfoot takes pictures of DEP.

When DEP picks his nose, he REALLY does find Gold

DEP delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the U.S. Postal Service and the Pony Express have combined for the last 146 years.

DEP has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

DEP invented porn. Gay porn was an accident (don't ask)

All men are gay for DEP

DEP destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

DEP can kill two stones with one bird.

DEP once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

Superman owns a pair of DEP's pajamas.

DEP counted to infinity ... twice!

Once, when DEP was little, he dreamt that when he grows up he would become an austronaut. A part of this dream came true - he grew up.

DEP buried Carmen San Diego and Waldo side-by-side in his backyard, just to show them they couldn't escape and he'd always know where they both were.

The Encyclopedia Galactica, in its chapter on Love states that it is far too complicated to define. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of love: Avoid, if at all possible. Unfortunately, DEP has never read the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for DEP.

DEP ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

DEP did, in fact, build Rome in a day.

If at first you don't succeed, you are not DEP.

DEP uses a night light. Not because DEP is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of DEP.

Whoever said "time waits for no man" never met DEP.

DEP lives in perpetual sunshine, because the universe does, in fact- revolve around him.

DEP thinks Hugh Heffner is an amateur.

DEP once ate poop, because he's like, "hey, I do what I want!".

DEP beat Halo 3 before the XBox was invented.

When DEP sings karaoke, the original artists pay HIM royalties.

DEP walked into a bar... and the bar apologized.

DEP was an original member of Slayer, but he quit because they weren't hardcore enough.

DEP put his hands on his pockets once, and got arrested for having concealed weapons.

DEP found the last digit of Pi.

There is no such thing as a solar or lunar eclipse. Once every few years, DEP allows himself to have an erection and it's glory blocks out celestial bodies.

Because of DEP;

• Mershaullk dropped to his knees and prayed to his lord Jesus Christ for salvation

• irishdrunk will only drink Grape Fanta

• Dollyllama voted republican

• Craziesean watches Oprah, and considers himself somewhat normal

• 2manyusernames is suing the makers of Betty Crocker's chocolate fudge cake for 2 million, stating that their fraudulent claims of "The best fudge chocolate cake ever" are not only false and misleading, but have caused him irreparable harm and suffering.

• imnotblue has a "Vote Obama for Change" sign in his front yard and bumper sticker on his Prius.

• punthe requires anyone sitting at his dinner table to recite the "Pledge of Allegiance" before they are allowed to eat.

• smarty1052 now ownes the complete "Neal Diamond & The Carpenters" double box sets.

• Jerry still might get laid.

• Bornbad now feeds pigeons the non-exploding type of pigeon food.

• davbob grew a huge afro

Interests by participation

	5%	arts
	16%	crime
	1%	games
	18%	humor
	3%	movies
	9%	music
	1%	photoshop
	6%	science
	8%	weird
	33%	wtf-