I hate doing these things, but I would hate having that generic humility phrase on here more...Gnikgnok by the gnumbers:10+ years of marriage to a strange, funny man. We'll never divorce because neither of us wants the kids alone full time9 pets8 ummm... can't think of an eight right now[edit]Look! Eight people on my friend list before I wandered off and lost interest in adding everyone I like because it would take too long (thanks, muse)7 speeding tickets I've gotten, three of which I deserved6 times I've moved since I've been married (I have recurring box avalanche dreams)5 classes completed for a degree in... something computerish4 children - three of whom are cool, one who is a little jerk.3 sports I like to play, watch, and coach: baseball, soccer, and sport stacking 2 part-time jobs1 college schedule0 free time (after Plime-ing, of course)
Kitten rescued from deep fryer Posted: 1 year ago by Wingnut
Yes, it was in a Chinese restaurant.
No, the restaurant owner did not deliberately put it there.
Comments: 7 Score: [-] 435 [+].
Thumb Thing Posted: 1 year ago by AutumnLotus
If you like to read, here’s “Thumb Thing” you must have! Simply put the Thumb Thing on your thumb and pick up a book; the two wings will hold the pages open more easily than if you just used your hand, making reading more comfortable.
Comments: 4 Score: [-] 383 [+].
DHL to stop US domestic shipments Posted: 1 year ago by suebe
9,500 jobs will be lost. The carrier will continue service from the US to international destinations.
Another sign of the troubled economic times
Comments: 4 Score: [-] 374 [+].
Snake caught eating cocky Posted: 1 year ago by AutumnLotus
Last month, it was a spider chowing down on local birdlife that caused a media frenzy around the world. Not to be outdone, a python has taken up the challenge with a hapless sulphur-crested cockatoo (bird) falling victim to its hungry jaws last Thursday night.
Comments: 6 Score: [-] 459 [+].
Perhaps The Strangest Suicide In History Posted: 1 year ago by muppetmaker
"The decedent had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide (he left a note indicating his dispondency). As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, which killed him instantly." And the story gets better...
(The website has some strange colors, hard to read. The full story is copied in the comments.)
Comments: 10 Score: [-] 432 [+].
Two-Headed Baby Under Police Protection Posted: 1 year ago by suckersklub
...because 150,000 people want to worship it.
Not Florida.
Comments: 17 Score: [-] 605 [+].
Chipmunk Story Posted: 1 year ago by gnikgnok
Cute photo-essay and your daily dose of awwwww!
Comments: 9 Score: [-] 597 [+].
How To Rear Children Posted: 1 year ago by suckersklub
Quite long, but remember, you're doing this for the kids!
"Never give a child that for which he cries. [...] Riots are not started in the streets but in the crib."
Comments: 2 Score: [-] 11 [+].
New Nebraska 'safe-haven' law allows abandonment of teens Posted: 1 year ago by tigertony
Instead of following the lead of other states, which focus on the abandonment of newborns, lawmakers here wanted to extend the protection to all minors. In Nebraska, that goes all the way up to age 19!
Followup to this story by dollyllama
Comments: 2 Score: [-] 105 [+].
You've seen those Back-to-School supply lists at Wal-Mart Posted: 1 year ago by tigertony
Yea well, they make those lists up themselves... and include sh*t that schools specifically DON'T want kids to bring.
Comments: 14 Score: [-] 430 [+].
How To Win A Fight Against 20 Children Posted: 1 year ago by theclansman
I’m not going to ask why you’re fighting twenty children. That’s your own business, but here are some tips to help you out.
I've also found that picking up one of the smaller kids and using his body as a weapon can be pretty effective.
Comments: 3 Score: [-] 125 [+].
Sixty pandas safe after China quake Posted: 2 years ago by jhordie
Some 60 giant pandas at a Chengdu research centre near the worst hit part of the massive China earthquake are safe, Xinhua reported on Tuesday.
Comments: 2 Score: [-] 197 [+].
Indian Music Video Posted: 2 years ago by jhordie
Well, I can't get this tune out of my head, so I thought I would share the pain.
This is sort of like a train wreck between The Sound of Music, bad disco and the Smurfs on helium. (I was going to say Alvin and the Chipmunks but I figured you young'ns wouldn't know what I was talking about.)
Comments: 5 Score: [-] 61 [+].
Teen Graduates High School, College In Same Week Posted: 2 years ago by dollyllama
An Iowa teen is graduating from college just one week after graduating from high school.
*This is jaw-dropping, he was preemie and they weren't sure he'd develop normally. He started taking college courses at 14.
Comments: 2 Score: [-] 291 [+].
Angler gets 2 for one Posted: 2 years ago by suebe
While photographing his catch, the fish's last meal started crawling out of its mouth.
Links to photos in article.
Comments: 8 Score: [-] 307 [+].
San Diego Mom Held in '76 Prison Break Posted: 2 years ago by cb__
Walsh is a woman with a past – a big one – and it finally caught up with her last week.
Comments: 12 Score: [-] 348 [+].
Good... Better... BEST Sportsmanship! Posted: 2 years ago by gnikgnok
Even though it meant losing their chance at further post season advancement, opposing players picked up the injured home run hitter and got her around the bases.
Comments: 8 Score: [-] 543 [+].
The new library fad: borrow a person Posted: 2 years ago by davethefish
A new library allows readers to borrow people for a 30-minute chat. Here's the experience of one man who offered himself as a human book
Comments: 7 Score: [-] 266 [+].
Mugshot Dujour Posted: 2 years ago by Chez
A Collection of interesting mugshots. Take a wild guess as to where most of them spawn from!
Just keep hitting 'previous' for more. *shudders*
Comments: 14 Score: [-] 743 [+].
Fake Motivational Posters Posted: 2 years ago by buddha
Some are priceless, some are just plain dumb, like the real ones.
Comments: 7 Score: [-] 140 [+].
Iowa Pranksters Get Just Desserts: 3,000 Forks In Their Yard Posted: 2 years ago by dollyllama
When known pranksters Rick and Marilyn Jones left town for a wedding, neighbors seeking payback eyed their property and decided to stick a fork in it _ a few thousand forks, in fact.
Comments: 13 Score: [-] 587 [+].
It's Like Sea Monkeys In Your Pants Posted: 2 years ago by tigertony
I have now officially heard it all!
Of all the fetishes people indulge in, this one really made me say "WTF!!" It's pthirophilia, which means getting off on crab lice. Not your garden variety crabs, either. Big, specially bred, ones from Japan.
Comments: 16 Score: [-] 298 [+].
Sisters Secret Porn Life Posted: 2 years ago by doggylives
He hadn't seen her in years, not since she left home for good. Then he found her — in the pages of a porn magazine.
Well that'd be a fap-stopper.
Comments: 8 Score: [-] 47 [+].
The Chaos Theory in action Posted: 2 years ago by moe
Sometime in 2004 a hamster got sick. Then it was sold from a PetSmart store. Then the woman who bought it died from a stroke. But she had contracted lymphocytic choriomeningitis from said hamster beforehand. Then her liver was donated to a guy. They guy then died several days later allegedly from the virus from the hamster.
The guy's wife is suing PetSmart for negligence.
Comments: 14 Score: [-] 425 [+].
Improv Everywhere: The Best Game Ever Posted: 2 years ago by muppetmaker
What happens when a group shows up at a little league game and turns it into a major league event?
Good times, thats what. God I love these guys.
Comments: 9 Score: [-] 558 [+].