...



I'm drawing a blank. Anyone else want to take a crack at this one?

I'd be happy to offer up a suggestion, but I'd need to see a picture of you first for reference....

;-)

Four words...

2 Girls 1 Cup.

I tried to come up with something better than BeelzaBeth, but am drawing a blank. I say you go with that.

I knew someone was going to bring that up..

Helen Wheels...don't be deceived...it's so cool.

Man, roller derby sounds interesting - I too had to look it up, but it looks pretty fun. I assume you're not allowed any instruments or anything, right?
Just unarmed combat/pushing/whatever?

If you want some serious advice:
Have you ever heard of capoiera?
It's a lesser-known Brazilian martial art that is basically what you'd get if you crossed say jiu-jitsu with Tae Kwon Do and a whole bunch of dancing - moves include things like backflipkicks and all kinds of intimidating stuff, and it's incredible for learning to roll with attacks.

<a href='http://www.plime.com/redir.p?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdIBKH-Nk8w' class='plime' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'><b>flash video</b></a>

Don't try to tell me that's not awesome.

YES! I looove roller derby and want to join too!!!

One name I've always been partial to is Betty Bruiser :D

I like the name Miss Winkle...

He speaks the truth, though.

I've always wanted to join a roller derby team, but didn't know how, when, where, blah blah.

Good on you!

Love Helen Wheels and BeelzaBeth!!!
/start's singing Paul McCartney's Helen Wheels...

That's a song?! I did not know that. I like it, too. And I can see it fitting on the back of a tank top. This "thinking" thing is pretty hard.

The one problem I can see straight off with Helen Wheels is that it only works without contraction.

The moment someone calls you just Helen the illusion is shattered.

Helens aren't scary or intimidating people. That's just the way it is.

In the entirety of mankind's history there has been only one* famous Helen and all she had going for her was that she was pretty. All she did was to give it up to the first marauding Trojan that came her way. Not a great role model for the kids.

The name you want is Bodacioucea, it being a portmanteau of bodacious and Boadicea, the erstwhile name of the Queen and Revolutionary now known as Boudica - the hardest woman on wheels ever.

Say it out loud and tell me you don't like it - Bo-day-shuh-see-ah.



*Disclaimer - there may have been other famous Helens in history. Helen Mirren. There's one. But really, is anyone scared of Helen Mirren? Helen Keller - Deaf, dumb and blind, sure; but did she play a mean pinball? No? Didn't think so. Fail.

In roller derby, they call you by your full name always during a bout :)

The Twitty Tister

Oh, please be careful Misswinkle. A coworker of mine has a sister-in-law on a team here in Austin, and she recently fractured her arm after getting pushed into the railing. This was on the raised tracks. The same league that was on A&E a couple of years ago.

So, please...

Sassafras!

I'll try to be as careful as I can. Thanks for the warning, Alton. But thank God there is no railing here. This is a flat track roller derby league. Still dangerous, but not as bad as the one you mentioned. Those ones are brutal.

I really am so excited.

These will be filmed I assume? And posted on the internets? Be sure and link us.