I usually don't intentionally eavesdrop, but sometimes when I'm in a crowded area I just can't help overhearing other people's conversations. Usually they're boring, but sometimes I hear the funniest or weirdest things.

Right now, for example, I am sitting in one of the engineering buildings on campus, waiting for my class to start.

A class just got out of a room nearby, and I saw a young male student chasing after the old, grey-haired female instructor, saying "Pardon me and my language, but did you say there is no such thing as blue balls?"
He turned bright red, but it was her lack of reaction to it all that I found even funnier.

I'm sitting on a little ledge, trying so hard not to just crack up...

Have you guys overheard some funny, random conversation snippets recently?

I haven't heard anything lately but when I was going through Radioman school we were taught to really listen well. I could sit in a restaurant or other crowded place and pick up on three or four conversations going on at once and comprehend them. Of course, nowadays I have selective hearing, just ask eljay.

And there is this creepy lady sitting on a ledge and I think she is listening to my "blue balls" conversation. Who is that lady, and why is she trying not to laugh? Weird.

I've got to get new glasses. I thought this was going to be about autumn.

;)

Okay. That was funny.

Greatest Eavesdropping mistake ever:

"If it werent for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

-Lewis Black

And I over heard this yesterday while we were at dinner after a rehersal. It was going on down at the other end of the table, so I was sorta part of the conversation, but ill put it here regardless.

Jack, whom is an older man, likely around 30, whom attends our college part time, he is from Portugal and speaks English, but still has some problems with it. He is in the show Im a part of right now, and we were talking to him about where we were going to have the cast party. He pipes up and says:
"We can have it at my house. But there are two rules."

"What are the rules Jack?"

"No one sleeps in my bed. And no one vomits in the jacuzzi. Otherwise, you are free to go do what ever you want."

"What if we want to have an orgy in your front lawn."

And with a stone face, as serious as he can be, he replied, "That is what I have a toilet for."

It was freaking genious. He didnt know what an orgy was, we had no idea what he was talking about. It lead to hours of laughter.

Ahh Canadians should appreciate this, Halifax and Dartmouth are basically the same city. They are separated by a relatively small bridge. Their is also a ferry that goes between them.

One day I am walking past the ferry terminal and there is a couple in front of me, the guy turns to the girl and goes "Hey, there's the ferry to newfoundland".

I laughed

Bartending I overhear LOTS of random stuff.

More than a few times I have heard people talk about how their husbands / wives will never find out / don't understand them they way the person they are with does / etc etc.

The best is when I hear drunk people trying to talk all sexy to each other. It's all I can do to not bust up laughing. I seriously think that people think bartenders are deaf or that we just live behind the bar and don't talk to anyone.

Oh well, it makes the nights go by faster and gives me fun stuff to write about here!

I heard this gem at the airport when I was dropping off my family this afternoon:

Man, to leggy woman: "s**t! You have to go now; I can see my wife's car..."

If I had a giant foam mallot with 'moron' etched in it, I'd have hit him with it.

Most validating was when the guy who said an intruder stabbed his fiance whispered "oh god baby, don't tell them" as I transferred them to the police and was getting EMS going.

He didn't know I was still on the line. I called the police on side phone while he was talking to the officer and told another police officer he admitted it and to NOT let him go when they got there.

Seems he stabbed her and was CHOKING her as he called me for help.

I got to go to court and meet her (she survived....I could hear her gurgling in the background and he wasn't doing anything I told him to help her, he choked her instead) and help put him away with the tape.

oh wow, you wouldn't believe the s**t i overhear sometimes. i'm not sure whether its luck or i have big ears, but i pick up the strangest things from people's conversations.

example one: when i was in high school, every friday my friends and i would go to a diner after school and eat. we were seated behind these other people we didn't know and as i'm sitting down i hear "I don't know how it happened but the donkey was OK. The docotr said just to use oinment for now." i almost fell out of my seat.

example two: while working for my former job i was on the phone with the customer when i overhear in the background a person say "Hey John(or Joe I can't recall the name) where's the lube?"

i can go on and on, but i think i'll save the other stories for another time.

WOOT! Go TraumaMama! You da man...er...WO-man thats it.

Sometimes I listen to my coworkers as they talk with callers. I often learn things that were never touched upon in training.

My favorites are the idiots with the cell phones that just say whatever the f**k they're thinking as though they were at home on their phone and not in a crowded room in front of a bunch of strangers.

For instance, clean cut man dressed up in a business suit carrying a briefcase in one hand and talking into a cell phone with the other gets on the elevator with two pther passengers (me and some a conservative looking older woman): "Yeah, she put the thing in my butt." (pause) "Well I kind of liked it actually." (pause) "No, I don't think I'm gay or anything, but I don't mind having things inserted into my ass either." (pause) "hahahahahahhahahahahaha. I know, right?"

Elevator reaches his floor and he steps off.

Me to the older woman in the elevator. "Did he seriously just say that s**t?"

Then we laughed.

I really have to remember that there are other people around sometimes. Sorry about that.

Betty White and Dr Ruth get on a bus...

Sunday I was riding home on the bus when two elderly women climbed on board. The first woman looked a lot like Betty White, and the second woman sounded almost exactly like Dr Ruth Westheimer. "Betty" sat across from me, while "Dr Ruth" sat next to me, and they continued the following conversation, which was obviously already in progress:

Betty White: So about that time this teenage kid walks up to me at the bus stop and says, "I like your Keds" and I had no idea what he was talking about.

Dr Ruth: Vat arr keds?

Betty White: At first I thought maybe he knew my grandkids, but then I realized he was looking at my feet. He liked my shoes. Who tells someone they like their shoes?

Dr Ruth: Vell, it could possibly be zat he vas a shoe expert. Shoe experts know a lot about shoes... Or maybe he vears shoes.



At this point the conversation just stopped. I can only assume that they silently agreed that the teenage shoe expert wears shoes. What other reason could there be?

I am probably going to get censured for telling you this, but what the hell...

You ran into the true forms of Punthe and Suckersklub. They knew it was you and were trying to get you to post about it on Plime. They won the bet they had with Hoosker and 2manyusernames.

my boss was on the phone next to my friend (coworker) and I talking about artificial insemination with his friend. Doesn't seem like much, I mean he;'s comfortable around me.. but my friend just started working there so her eyes nearly popped out of her head haahaha

I wasn't the one eavesdropping here, but:

We were discussing drilling targets in the kitchen one night, and I voiced my opinion on one of the geophysical targets: "I'm positive it's a dyke, and there's no point in drilling an old dyke!"

At which point the non-geologist guys in the room all burst out laughing. It took me a bit to 'get' it.

I'm back in the office. People talk and argue loud. This just overheard:

"It's got really good cleavage"

"No, it's not cleavage, they're just joints"

"Yes, it's cleavage, you can see it on Google earth! You can't argue that it's cleavage, and possible the best cleavage anyone could ask for"

"It's not cleavage. It's too big to be cleavage"

"Arrgh..... <Chinook>, I need your opinion on this..."

And did you offer your opinion of the quality of the supposed cleavage?