Tequila Stories : RSS 2.0http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/low.mtmen-usplime.com2008, plime.com.Plime/1http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rssTequila Stories : RSS 2.0http://www.plime.com/images/logo.gifhttp://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/low.mtm<![CDATA[mewhitenoise @ 6/15/2008 7:52:44 AM]]>« drstrangelove : Okay, it goes like this:


epic drinking storyThat story was awesome.

The horror is always the part that makes the best drinking stories.....and it is also why I avoid getting extremely drunk most of the time.]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q24http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q24plime.com <![CDATA[bluenutria @ 5/12/2008 11:53:26 PM]]>
And since that time my parents always assumed that my brother and I were boozehounds. Good thing I moved out.]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q23http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q23plime.com <![CDATA[drstrangelove @ 5/12/2008 9:12:27 PM]]>« Moe : OK I saw the length of this story, and almost did not read it. But at the last second, I changed my mind.

You had my upvote at "sodden bliss"

I almost retracted it at "bile flavored popper vomit"

I laughed, I cried.

Five stars.Gee thanx.. I'm only glad I survived... :)]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q22http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q22plime.com <![CDATA[Moe @ 5/11/2008 11:02:14 PM]]>« drstrangelove : Okay, it goes like this:

Sordid taleOK I saw the length of this story, and almost did not read it. But at the last second, I changed my mind.

You had my upvote at "sodden bliss"

I almost retracted it at "bile flavored popper vomit"

I laughed, I cried.

Five stars.]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q21http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q21plime.com <![CDATA[sparklyeyedgal181 @ 5/11/2008 10:54:28 PM]]>
When I was 20, my brother and his fiancee and a bunch of their friends wanted to rent a houseboat at Lake Powell for the bachelor/bachelorette celebration. I drove down there with three things: margarita fixings, a bikini, and a cooler of beer.

The first full day there, my brother's fiancee's little sister and I put on our life jackets and spend the entire day floating around our canyon drinking beer. We did not realize how incredibly drunk we were until we got back on the houseboat and still didn't feel like we were on solid ground.

Already pretty blitzed, I think that extra tequila in the margs will be a perfect addition, and it was. Unfortunately, no one else thought the extra tequila was a good taste, so I had nearly a whole pitcher to myself.

After dinner, we all head up to the top of the houseboat to drink and talk. Not having the foresight to drag a lawn chair up top with me, I decide that sitting on the railing was a good idea. Sure enough, after someone said something funny, I threw my head back in laughter and just kept on going.

I landed neck first in the water, lost my bikini top, and got my leg tangled in the rope that was hanging off our anchors. Everyone else was drunk too, so instead of coming to my rescue, they all stood there and laughed. Although I was laughing too, I was in bad shape the rest of the trip and had to borrow someone else's extra bikini top.]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q20http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q20plime.com <![CDATA[maven @ 5/11/2008 10:52:41 PM]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q19http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q19plime.com <![CDATA[drstrangelove @ 5/11/2008 10:35:45 PM]]>« Bornbad : I think it's sex.Buuuuurp.]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q18http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q18plime.com <![CDATA[Bornbad @ 5/11/2008 10:34:44 PM]]>« drstrangelove : 'By the ninth, I was singing AND doing the Electric Slide with one of the groomsmen.'

Electric Slide..... That is a euphemism right.. :)I think it's sex.]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q17http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q17plime.com <![CDATA[drstrangelove @ 5/11/2008 10:31:38 PM]]>
Electric Slide..... That is a euphemism right.. :)]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q16http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q16plime.com <![CDATA[maven @ 5/11/2008 10:19:28 PM]]>
Another story--though I am drunk in this one as well.

My best friends big sister got married, and they had the reception at her parents house. I spent the day coordinating caterers, cake delivery, band setup, bartender, etc, so all was ready when the guests arrived.

First 4 hours were fabulous. My friend kept trying to peel me away, but I persisted, did my job, got things all squared away. Around 1:30, the band was in full swing and I was allowed to slack off. So the bartender, who'd been very friendly during setup, starts pouring me Long Island ice teas.

After the third, I was doing karaoke with the bridemaids.

After the sixth, the maid of honor and I were doing the Electric Slide down the driveway.

By the ninth, I was singing AND doing the Electric Slide with one of the groomsmen.

No hangover, I was the first one up in the morning and started making waffles for everyone.]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q15http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q15plime.com <![CDATA[drstrangelove @ 5/11/2008 9:49:12 PM]]>

After a night out on the town, we all convened back at my friend's house. We were pretty buzzed, but as we were still standing we decided to drink some more. The only 'bottle' in the house was one of those magnum bottles of Jose Cuervo you buy at the border ( so you can get ten times the volume of hooch while paying the tax on only one bottle you see.... ) So let me be clear, this is a bottle that is about three feet tall and about nine inches around.

Well, being the brilliant drunkards that we were, we busted it open and commenced the drinking. Now, we had a contingency of ladies around so we showed 'em how to do 'tequila poppers'. For those of you who don't know what that is.. you basically fill a glass with equal amounts tequila and Seven-Up, cover the top with your hand, then 'pop' it against your thigh. The concoction will foam and becomes so fizzy-ly palatable that even snow white would indulge in the demon hooch.


The girls were delighted, and so were we. We all ended up in the hot tub doing poppers until our eyes were weeping tequila overflow and we were seeing quadruple. At some point the bottle fell in to the hot tub and we were floating in a filthy swill of chlorinated water spent limes and rancid agave nectar. It was sodden bliss.

At one point someone declared they were hungry.. everyone agreed that they were too and someone went off to forage for food. They came back triumphantly with a hoard of chicken quarters and a huge thing of barbecue sauce. The grill was ceremoniously lit and the chicken began to sizzle. Someone emerged from the kitchen with a bottle of cooking sherry, but at that point everyone was just holding on for dear life. I could see the squirming horror in everyones slowly oscillating eyes. We were all breathing heavy and choking down ominous fetid burps. I'm pretty sure I said a seriously slurred prayer in my head somewhere in there.


The only thing that kept us going was the sweet, sweet, smell of the barbecue slowly sizzling away. The girls were bravely smiling crooked smiles of suppressed fear and they guys were just trying to act non-chalant through the waves of burbling worm nectar burps.

When all of a sudden a smoldering platter of chicken was brought to the hot tub. Greedy hands grabbed the slippery barbecue desperate to suppress the burgeoning nausea with some greasy food. A few screams of pain tempered the frenzy just a little as they were scalded by the charred and steaming chicken flesh.

Cautioned, we all gingerly grabbed a piece and started to voraciously eat the red hot chicken. It was our salvation. The barbecue sauce was like an antidote to the Cuervo, the tender juicy meat was like a wet blanket to a raging fire. As we were silently chewing away, one girl exclaimed. "Eeeew, mines all cold inside." suddenly I realized mine was too.. we all did.

"It tastes funny too!" squealed another.. in the darkness of the glowing pool lights we all knew something was wrong. Dead wrong. Someone brought over a flashlight and inspected a Piece. There was no report. Only the sound of a deep foul wretching and the gush of a toxic stream of liberated tequila pouring right into the middle of the hot tub. At that moment someone turned on the deck lights and we all saw to our horror that we were all halfway through eating raw chicken that was merely burned on the outside.

The apocalyptic horror that followed will haunt me forever. imagine nine cursed souls all uncontrollably turning themselves inside out, facing each other, in close proximity, while sitting in a circle of filthy frothing liquid. I was vomiting out of my nose with such force that my head splayed around like a loose garden hose on full blast. The searing violence of my wretching was like a satanic freight train on fire barreling through my skull on razor tracks. I felt a convulsive tangle of limbs hair and teeth all around me clamping down in quivering harmony with the most vile of splattering sounds. It seemed like an eternity. At one point I managed to crawl into the adjacent pool only to be showered on the head by a blast of spent chicken and bile flavored popper vomit.


The scene was horrifying. We all managed to live to fight again another day. But the moral of the story is thus: NEVER. For God's sakes, never mix tequila poppers poured from a magnum bottle with 'Barbecue chicken' at four in the morning.

-B]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q14http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q14plime.com <![CDATA[gratheo @ 5/11/2008 9:33:55 PM]]>« maven : StoryMaven, you are the perfect friend. Is eye candy a requirement for this sort of treatment?]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q13http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q13plime.com <![CDATA[maven @ 5/11/2008 9:27:36 PM]]>
College, spring semester, Albuquerque NM. I was fairly sober. Several members of the football team lived in the same dorm. Around 3 one morning, I hear someone putting a key into my door (which wasn't locked). I open the door to discover Jeff, the kicker. Nice guy. About 6'3, not the smartest boy but nice eye candy. He looks at me for a long moment, then asks why I'm in his room. I explain I'm NOT in his room, he's at MY door, what does he want. It occurs to me that he's smashed. So I ask him if he wants me to take him to his room. After wandering around me room and agreeing that it really wasn't his room, he thinks maybe he does need some help.

The problem is that his room is on the third story. It took me 30 minutes just to get him up the stairs. Another 10 minutes to get him to his door. After watching him fumble with the key for 5 minutes, I took it away from him and got him into his room. I even made sure he had a convenient puke bucket.]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q12http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q12plime.com <![CDATA[mobase @ 5/11/2008 8:10:03 PM]]>« AutumnLotus : Ewww!!! That made me gag a little.

My tequila story - never tasted it.Interesting.

Click here to show image

:P]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q11http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q11plime.com <![CDATA[AutumnLotus @ 5/11/2008 7:55:24 PM]]>« pocksucket :
A big ol' nasty puddle of tequila flavoured puke that I'd just been sleeping in.Ewww!!! That made me gag a little.

My tequila story - never tasted it.]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q10http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q10plime.com <![CDATA[mobase @ 5/11/2008 6:54:12 PM]]>
If you take an active alcoholic, who also happened to be a musician, you get some reeeeaaally good drinking tequila stories.
(keep in mind, Horsefeathers met me after I was sober, so she's never seen this side of me.)

1) Decided it would be a good idea to ride my amp (it was on casters) around the dance floor. This was also the night I thought I whispered "The manager's wife has huuuuge boobs!". He was not impressed with my assessment. I also tried to crawl over the counter and serve myself at KFC.

2) Playfully kidnapped two college girls and insisted they play strip uno with me. They did and they lost. Heh.

3) Ruthlessly enforced the "beer or boobs" rule before you could get on the bus. Also told the lead singer's girlfriend we'd videotaped him having sex with some girl. (We did, but she refused to believe it, and he paid me twenty bucks to forget it. Whenever I needed cash, I'd "remember".)

4) My friend, who was African American, couldn't keep up with me and passed out in the hotel bar. (My tolerance at that time was legendary..) I loaded him onto a Hotel luggage cart and was wheeling him down the hall, shouting "Who ordered the Black Man!! Who ordered the Black Man!" at the top of my lungs. I couldn't find a sheet in time or I would've worn it like a Klansman. Hotel guests would peer out of thier rooms and quickly slam the door. (He thought it was hysterical, BTW..He was alert enough to giggle and burp.)

5) Would sign any body part with a sharpie. I could make a pig's nose out of a nipple, and draw the ears and cheeks on the areola.


I'm lucky I survived without getting killed.]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q9http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q9plime.com <![CDATA[horsefeathers @ 5/11/2008 5:51:23 PM]]>« doggylives : Same. Only I had a small Storm Trooper action figure shoved up my ass.

*editz* Tequila has been involved in some of my less well thought out and more disastrous decisions.

What turns a dog into a fox? Half a dozen Tequila'sHmmmm, interesting. Dare I ask? How do you know that was the only thing that had been stuck up your ass? jk]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q8http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q8plime.com <![CDATA[Moe @ 5/11/2008 5:25:48 PM]]>Pocksucket: Waking up in bed full of vomit story...This is what is typically called "fun" while one is in college.

EDIT: Oops, I need to add a tequila story. Ummm ok, this IS a real story. I did not make it up. It is however, lame as tequila stories go.

One time me and a friend drank some and we split the worm. That's about it really.

I was never one to get totally sh*t faced. It has happened to me less than five times that I got blind drunk. One of them was the great NYC blackout from a couple years back. I cannot recall if tequila was involved for sure, so I am going to say that it was...because honestly it could have been. Hell I could have been drinking shots of flaming camel sweat for all I know. Just...if you DO go out and drink a lot...stay away from the bar popcorn.

Let's just say that there ain't a whole lot to do when all the power goes out in the middle of the summer on Long Island for many hours. When you are with your whole family. And your sister. And your mom. So yea, there was not much of THAT going on. But we were drinking. Oh yes we were. Did I mention I was hanging out with 4 Irish dudes at the time as well? Well I was, (not to bring the race thing into all of this because you know, I can't stand that Sharpton guy and all) but...'nuff said.]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q7http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q7plime.com <![CDATA[pocksucket @ 5/11/2008 5:21:41 PM]]>
Back when I was at college I had a friend from Mexico who was in the habit of heading back there for the weekend. He would always bring back some sort of exotic treat, and usually that treat was tequila. On the weekend in question he was good to his form and had a couple of bottles with him, which we started on pretty much as soon as he arrived back at college. There were three of us involved in this venture and between us we demolished both bottles. One problem was that we only had two shot glasses (an exact measure) and a plastic cup. I had the plastic cup.

In retrospect I've no idea why we didn't use one of the shot glasses as a measure to ensure accuracy, but that's one of those things that comes with maturity, I guess.

So we drank the tequila and my measures were getting larger and larger as time went on.

Add to that I remained seated for the entire time, so the tequila was just sort of pooled in my stomach. Until I stood up that is.

Pretty much as soon as I did stand up a blankness descended on the evening, bar a few vignettes. Things like trying (and failing) to climb onto a pool table, things like some friends helping me get back to my room, things like on the journey me asking why my head was so close to the ground (I couldn't stand upright), things like my head in a metal bin, things like that.

Late the next day I woke, feeling pretty damn rough. I got up, wandered over to the sink in my room to get some water, splash my face, that sort of thing.

Standing there, staring at my poor, dishevelled reflection in the mirror I began to wonder where the smell of sick was coming from. It took a few moments to realise it was my bed. A big ol' nasty puddle of tequila flavoured puke that I'd just been sleeping in.

All of which proves one of two things. Either I'm more rock & roll than Hendrix, or drinking that much tequila is just a dumb idea.

It was, incidentally, about 5 years before I could even smell tequila without feeling ill.

Luckily I'm over that now.]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q6http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q6plime.com <![CDATA[Bornbad @ 5/11/2008 4:03:56 PM]]>(three cheers for Jose Cuervo)]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q5http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q5plime.com <![CDATA[KEROberos32 @ 5/11/2008 3:26:53 PM]]>« xiatethebish : Drank tequila one night, woke up naked and confused.
/storyHopefully it was in your own place... :P]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q4http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q4plime.com <![CDATA[doggylives @ 5/11/2008 12:44:43 PM]]>« xiatethebish : Drank tequila one night, woke up naked and confused.
/story Same. Only I had a small Storm Trooper action figure shoved up my ass.

*editz* Tequila has been involved in some of my less well thought out and more disastrous decisions.

What turns a dog into a fox? Half a dozen Tequila's]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q3http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q3plime.com <![CDATA[xiatethebish @ 5/11/2008 12:42:16 PM]]>/story]]>http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q2http://www.plime.com/plime-com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q2plime.com
Tequila Stories
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<![CDATA[sykeo56 @ 5/11/2008 12:32:33 PM]]>
This thread is for tequila stories only! Do not bring in stories other than tequila stories. Or if your stories are about drinking something other than tequila, just lie and make them about tequila. If you have no tequila story to share, go out tonight and drink a sh*t-ton of tequilla and come back tomorrow. After your hangover subsides.]]>http://www.plime.com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q1http://www.plime.com/f/4175/1/rss2_0.rss#q1plime.com