Yeah - no idea why I changed the Simpson's one.

I think I've got it sorted now. So hopefully none of this will make sense to innocent bystanders...

Exactly. I'm very innocent and I have no idea what you are talking about, so your hope was not in vain.

Moving right along.... :P

what was hitler's first name?

Translation:
"Celia totally saw the spider pinching her crack and stealing away with it through the power outlet. The spider's gonna pay for it."

Drugs. Only funny if you don't use them.

She's waaaaaaay too pretty and healthy-looking to be using crack! Maybe this is her first time, but if it were her first time, she wouldn't be seeing a spider running off with her crack and going into an outlet, so it's not her first time.

/end analysis