Naw but we both know chicks with guns win everytime. And here's my thought. When does everyone else get on????

This is my family. My husband, our two kids, and our cats. I wish I was in this picture too, but I was holding the camera.



Zach is like the poster child for a pack leader here.

That was a trial couch arrangement and it lasted two days.

<making use of the double post>

Tornadoes.

Constant tornadoes.

Must be June.

</making use of the double post>

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I have just given the syllabus for my next class a good reading and I'm all stressed out. I'm normally a pretty chilled out person, but the work load for this class is ridiculous.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
;ljwleknqwejqw;jnwrjwrjwnr1wjnroi3jtuhjfvn;olfjqwpoifhpuhqpwiuhfjknc;kljfhqpwoifhwifjq;wfh;wefhqc;wecfq;wfijnwpeoijwejdlfkjjfjf
Thats me letting out some frustration.

Take two of these, call me in the morning:

Do you deliver? juz' askin'

I can feel it's sticky goodness on my fingers, I smell the sweetness with my nose, my eyes sees the beauty and color and if only my lungs could experience the wonderful smoke, but alas.. The organization I work for makes me pee in a cup randomly.

DAMMIT!

Note to self:

Backwards, and flipped upside down.
Backwards, and flipped upside down.
Backwards, and flipped upside down.
Backwards, and flipped upside down.
Backwards, and flipped upside down.
Backwards, and flipped upside down.
Backwards, and flipped upside down.
Backwards, and flipped upside down.
Backwards, and flipped upside down.
Backwards, and flipped upside down.
Backwards, and flipped upside down.
Backwards, and flipped ups-

...or rather rotated?

For me this belongs in the "WTF is it" thread. But from the contextual clues of kakana I'm guessing its some kind of drug.

Your right eye twitches when you're lying.

A slight nod to the "old school"

I'm going in for a consultation for breast reduction surgery on tuesday.
On monday i have an obgyn appointment cause my uterus hates me.

I'm driving to miami tomorrow *sigh*

"Knock knock

Oh hi, how’s it going? It’s me! Every girl ever. I’m really looking forward to this date. I’m not nearly as attractive as you remember me being because when we met the bar was dark and you were drunk. Come on in.

Let’s start off with the unavoidable tour of my incredibly typical post-college-girl apartment.

You’ll notice that I went ahead and purchased everything that Ikea and Pier 1 have ever produced. There’s my decorative birdcage over there even though I don’t have a bird, and there’s my gay wicker basket with bamboo poles in it. I don’t know what the hell that’s thing’s all about, but I bought it.


Hey check it out, I have more candles in here than a Roman Catholic Church. Doesn’t it smell like Hazelnut!? If I were to light all of my candles at once you could see my apartment from space! I f**king love candles!

Come on into the living room.

Oh, I see you met my cat there. That’s “Freddy Paws Jr.” Why don’t you pet him and act like you like cats even though you hate cats? There you go. Oh, he took a little swing at your eye there huh? Yeah, he’ll do that. Hey, let’s check out the kitchen.

Hey look at my refrigerator. There are pictures all over it! Look at all these pictures of me and my equally vacuous friends from college! We were so crazy! You can tell we’re really good friends because our faces are all pressed up against each other like that.

And check it out, we’re holding up alcoholic beverages to the camera in every single picture. That’s to prove that we were partying. College was so fun! But of course I don’t talk to any of these girls anymore because now they’re all b***hes.

Let’s go back into the hallway!

Hey, before we leave I’m going to go in the bathroom for ten minutes for some mysterious reason. Why don’t you sit awkwardly in my big, stupid, round papizan chair over there while you wait for me. It’s like you’re sitting in a hug! Be right back…

Sorry that took a half an hour, I don’t know what the hell I was doing in there. Let’s go!

Wow! Thanks for opening my car door for me! I’m totally going to blow that meaningless gesture out of proportion and delude myself into thinking that you’re a really good guy because that’s what I want to believe.

Well, here we are at the restaurant. No thanks waiter, I don’t need to see a menu, just bring me some expensive things. Hey I know, while we wait, I’ll tell you all about my unspeakably boring job. I hate my boss. He’s a jerk! I might get another job. Maybe something in pharmaceutical sales.

Now let’s talk about my family. I love my family. I want you to love my family. I want my family to love you. I want you to make love to my family! I want you to go golfing with my semi-retarded brother Travis. That would be so God damned cute!

Wow! I can’t believe I ordered all this food! I have no intention of eating any of it. No thanks waiter, we don’t need a box. Just throw it out.

Hey, I’ve got an idea, let’s go to a bar and have an after dinner drink! It’ll be great, it will be just like how we’re drinking here, only it will be louder and we’ll have to stand up. Come on!

See, isn’t this better? Oh hey, what a coincidence. Look over there! It’s a group of my friends that I knew was going to be here. Let’s go over there so that they can judge you!

Hey, I have to go to the bathroom for a half an hour again for some reason. You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Christine! Christine’s so ugly she scares kids! Talk to her! She has a job and a family that she wants to talk to you about too. Be right back.

I’m back! Sorry I was gone for three hours, there was a line. I want to go home now.

Well here we are at my door again. This was really fun for me and not you. You should pretend like we’re going to do it again sometime! Maybe I’ll see you at Target a few months from now and we can avoid eye contact because you never called me. Here, have this awkward goodnight kiss that’s as empty as my soul. Good night!"

Source: craigslist

According to this, I'm not a girl :( Maybe that's what the bleeding is... I'm growing a penis!

And people wonder why I avoided most of my female classmates and continue to avoid msot of the women I meet IRL.

Seriously.

And I KNOW I'm not growing any dangly bits.

That made my day. Couldn't stop laughing. I was hoping you wrote it the whole time though. Regardless, awesome find.

This is the best double post you have ever seen.

In all honesty I do not know what that is.

Your right eye is twitching.

I happen to be a pissed off Plimate, because right now I am fairly certain I have a broken ankle, and no one in my household will drive me to the doctors and its been like a day and it looks like I have an egg sized tumor its swollen up so much. Grrr!