is Yelling the New Spanking? Posted: 1 month ago by gammerus
"we spend hours teaching our elementary-school offspring how to understand their feelings. But, incongruously and with regularity, this is a generation that yells."
Comments: 4 Score: [-] 189 [+].
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Posted: 1 month ago by jLoSsDh:
My gf YELLspeaks...especially on the phone.
Annoying
Score: [-] 69 [+].
Posted: 1 month ago by chez:
I'm hispanic, yelling is my nature. :P
Score: [-] 23 [+].
Posted: 1 month ago by chinook:
I abhor yelling. I don't mind hollering, like when a raised voice is necessary to convey a message over excess noise, for example. To me, yelling and a bunch of other things are just signs that a person has no control over his or her temper, and I don't like that
Score: [-] 88 [+].
Posted: 1 month ago by drogue:
« chinook:To me, yelling and a bunch of other things are just signs that a person has no control over his or her temper, and I don't like that I grew up amidst yelling, and much worse than "spankings" as a kid. My paternal Grandmother, on the other hand was sweetness and light personified. If you did wrong, she took care to calmly explain why, and set you right. It worked famously. None of us grandkids wanted to see her upset.
The only time I witnessed her get angry with me was after I tracked quite a bit of that black south-Georgia mud into her house, without thinking.
She took me out back, and with a hose and brush, cleaned me off, holding me firmly by the lapel, saying, behind her teeth: "Now...you have to think...before you come into the house...If you're dirty...then you let someone know...etc."
She didn't yell anything, but the impact was so much stronger, coming from a quieter overseer, who was clearly restraining herself.
It's about dynamics. If you see, say, a punk rock band who go from 0 to "11" in 30 milliseconds, and maintain that volume through the whole show, it can be interesting, but ultimately a wash of sound. A band with good dynamics exercise restraint, and when their big moments happen, they seem a thousand times bigger.
Even so, in my view, yelling equals loss of control, and the damage isn't that the kids feel "extra punished," (if yelling is the norm, they'll come to expect it of their environment, and yell on their own, to try and be heard) but more from seeing that their parents aren't in control. And if the parents aren't in control, then who can be?
I've seen it happen with dogs. Alphas aren't typically the ones running around barking at and "policing" all the others all day. They're generally quieter.
But when the apha does speak up, you can see it ripple through the pack.
Score: [-] 52 [+].
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