Sometimes when I'm in need of a bitter, cynical laugh, I'll check to see what madness appears on Fundies Say the Darndest Things. I'm always amazed that such backwards people have actually managed to learn how to use a computer and the internet, actually.

I figured a thread here would be a good place for any gems you might find there.

My favorite that I found today:

Damn! All I learned in calculus was derivatives and integration; apparently I missed out on alot of fun!

Who are these women that need classes to know that Christian white males are responsible for all the world's troubles? Cannot these women simply observe?

I can't go to that site because I get my panties in a bunch and I don't want to be equal to the Christian white males who are constantly pulling theirs out of their crack.

You forgot the "/threadkiller" at the end.

Yeah, since AIDS is robust and able to survive outside of the human body..... but then again, who knows more, the pastor or the microbiologist?

"One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it."

my favorite

Do you know that the song Amazing Grace would never have been written but for the salvation of a slave trader? Believe it or not, and I understand from a human perspective this is going to sound outrageous, but from God's perspective, the salvation of that one man was worth the enslavement of millions. The song by that one man which has touched the hearts of millions was worht the enslavement of millions.

I have a really really hard time laughing at these things.

Here's another winner.

Women and girls should take full responsibility for any untoward thoughts that men may have about them. They need to be careful to keep fully covered; not just their midriff area, but also their neck, arms, and legs. Clothing should not only be fashioned to completely cover, but also be loose enough to fully disguise even the feminine shape or form. Bathing suits should always be avoided and even in summer, one should wear long sleeves. In some cases, hair should be wrapped up in scarves or snoods, and should never be allowed to be loose for the view of men.

Everyone knows that men are aroused by even the mere sight of loose hair. We can't blame them or expect them to control themselves. It is their nature and we ladies are responsible for helping men and boys to control their nature.

We ladies need to realize that everytime a man is aroused by the sight of our bodies, we are responsible for tempting him to sin. To remove this temptation, we need to fully cover ourselves. It is fully our own fault if we have not covered up.

Because those that rape only go after the slutty ones?

So if men are aroused by loose hair, should we keep men away from horses?

Also, if men are aroused by loose hair, and I wanted to make a man more aroused, should I also show him my long, flowing armpit and leg hair?

Are you offering? Or just teasing me like you always do?

Well...

...

brb.

If all you can see are a womans eyes, and those eyes are electric and exciting, why wouldn't you find that person provocative? I think that you would. I find many Arab women to be quite sensual despite being covered from head to toe. Sometimes anticipation and imagination create a powerful duo.

Sounds strikingly familiar to another extremist point of view:

You forgot the sarcasm tags.

Oh my, I didn't think of my av when I typed that.

I suppose my blue body in all of its yeti hairiness could be alluring.....

My little sister, who is 7 years old absolutely loves music. When I tell her that it's not good to listen to music, she says "but I liiike it". How do get a child to HATE music?

What's wrong with music?!

Hey, why dont I go make up random crap, then put quotes around it and say that Jesus said it?

Apparently its a blast, theres thousands of quotes there.

What is this place 'sweeden' that you speak of?

I think the thing that upsets me the most about this is that this ignert moron spelled googol wrong.

Oh god... I can't keep myself from laughing at this one.

Some of them are more a pause for thought and rage, however.

I think that everyone is missing the point here!!!

EDUCATION is ruining the status-quo! If we all just stay dumb we can accept our overlords and not question the system. We're supposed to just remember our place in society - we're ruining it for the old regime!!

If things continue like this, we may even have a BLACK president in a hundred years or so!

Wow. That's a gem, alright!

As much as I hated Catholic schools, I'm glad our teachers managed to teach us a thourough, almost unbiased history of religion(s). I don't ever remember thinking that Jesus, or anyone else in history or on the planet, spoke the same language(s) as I did.