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Posted: 6 months ago by chinook:
Sometimes when I'm in need of a bitter, cynical laugh, I'll check to see what madness appears on Fundies Say the Darndest Things. I'm always amazed that such backwards people have actually managed to learn how to use a computer and the internet, actually.
I figured a thread here would be a good place for any gems you might find there.
My favorite that I found today:
Good points, Nick. The Marxist environment in colleges is tailor-made for anyone who isn't a Christian White male. Every single class, be it psychology or calculus exists to indoctrinate all people groups that the Christian White male is responsible for all the hell that you and people before you have ever gone through. So, of course women are going to outperform men. Colleges are all about convincing them that they're equal to men. And they're all about convincing everybody else that they're equal to everybody else. So how is the lie perpetuated? By leveling the playing field of course. Any woman is going to excel in college with idiotic and Satanic feminist goddess poetry classes and "How Christian White Males Destroyed Civilization" classes. Are those classes for mainstream college-bound men? Of course not. And even the less extreme classes are full of Marxist indoctrination and guilt trips. No young man wants to pay for 15 units to be told all day long in one form or another ( and he'll get the message loud and clear) that he's a cancer in society (Susan Sontag's words) and that everything horrible in the world is his fault.
Damn! All I learned in calculus was derivatives and integration; apparently I missed out on alot of fun!
Score: [-] 315 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by dollyllama:
Who are these women that need classes to know that Christian white males are responsible for all the world's troubles? Cannot these women simply observe?
I can't go to that site because I get my panties in a bunch and I don't want to be equal to the Christian white males who are constantly pulling theirs out of their crack.
Score: [-] 106 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by cheeselog1234:
« dollyllama :
I can't go to that site because I get my panties in a bunch and I don't want to be equal to the Christian white males who are constantly pulling theirs out of their crack. You forgot the "/threadkiller" at the end.
Score: [-] 151 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by tundramonkey:
my pastor told me that if we let gays get married their aids might mutate and become airborne, and then what, huh? airborne aids! then we'll all have to walk around wearing masks and rubber suits and that wouldn't be much fun now would it!
Yeah, since AIDS is robust and able to survive outside of the human body..... but then again, who knows more, the pastor or the microbiologist?
Score: [-] 164 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by theclansman:
"One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it."
my favorite
Score: [-] 130 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by mahler87:
Do you know that the song Amazing Grace would never have been written but for the salvation of a slave trader? Believe it or not, and I understand from a human perspective this is going to sound outrageous, but from God's perspective, the salvation of that one man was worth the enslavement of millions. The song by that one man which has touched the hearts of millions was worht the enslavement of millions.
I have a really really hard time laughing at these things.
Score: [-] 163 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by mahler87:
Here's another winner.
Women and girls should take full responsibility for any untoward thoughts that men may have about them. They need to be careful to keep fully covered; not just their midriff area, but also their neck, arms, and legs. Clothing should not only be fashioned to completely cover, but also be loose enough to fully disguise even the feminine shape or form. Bathing suits should always be avoided and even in summer, one should wear long sleeves. In some cases, hair should be wrapped up in scarves or snoods, and should never be allowed to be loose for the view of men.
Everyone knows that men are aroused by even the mere sight of loose hair. We can't blame them or expect them to control themselves. It is their nature and we ladies are responsible for helping men and boys to control their nature.
We ladies need to realize that everytime a man is aroused by the sight of our bodies, we are responsible for tempting him to sin. To remove this temptation, we need to fully cover ourselves. It is fully our own fault if we have not covered up.
Score: [-] 94 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by gammerus:
« mahler87 : Here's another winner.
Women and girls should take full responsibility for any untoward thoughts that men may have about them. They need to be careful to keep fully covered; not just their midriff area, but also their neck, arms, and legs. Clothing should not only be fashioned to completely cover, but also be loose enough to fully disguise even the feminine shape or form. Bathing suits should always be avoided and even in summer, one should wear long sleeves. In some cases, hair should be wrapped up in scarves or snoods, and should never be allowed to be loose for the view of men.
Everyone knows that men are aroused by even the mere sight of loose hair. We can't blame them or expect them to control themselves. It is their nature and we ladies are responsible for helping men and boys to control their nature.
We ladies need to realize that everytime a man is aroused by the sight of our bodies, we are responsible for tempting him to sin. To remove this temptation, we need to fully cover ourselves. It is fully our own fault if we have not covered up. Because those that rape only go after the slutty ones?
Score: [-] 60 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by tundramonkey:
« mahler87 : Here's another winner.
Women and girls should take full responsibility for any untoward thoughts that men may have about them. They need to be careful to keep fully covered; not just their midriff area, but also their neck, arms, and legs. Clothing should not only be fashioned to completely cover, but also be loose enough to fully disguise even the feminine shape or form. Bathing suits should always be avoided and even in summer, one should wear long sleeves. In some cases, hair should be wrapped up in scarves or snoods, and should never be allowed to be loose for the view of men.
Everyone knows that men are aroused by even the mere sight of loose hair. We can't blame them or expect them to control themselves. It is their nature and we ladies are responsible for helping men and boys to control their nature.
We ladies need to realize that everytime a man is aroused by the sight of our bodies, we are responsible for tempting him to sin. To remove this temptation, we need to fully cover ourselves. It is fully our own fault if we have not covered up. So if men are aroused by loose hair, should we keep men away from horses?
Also, if men are aroused by loose hair, and I wanted to make a man more aroused, should I also show him my long, flowing armpit and leg hair?
Score: [-] 198 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by mahler87:
« tundramonkey : So if men are aroused by loose hair, should we keep men away from horses?
Also, if men are aroused by loose hair, and I wanted to make a man more aroused, should I also show him my long, flowing armpit and leg hair? Are you offering? Or just teasing me like you always do?
Score: [-] 64 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by suckersklub:
« tundramonkey : Also, if men are aroused by loose hair, and I wanted to make a man more aroused, should I also show him my long, flowing armpit and leg hair?
Well...
...
brb.
Score: [-] 143 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by coldbladed:
« mahler87 : Here's another winner.
Women and girls should take full responsibility for any untoward thoughts that men may have about them. They need to be careful to keep fully covered; not just their midriff area, but also their neck, arms, and legs. Clothing should not only be fashioned to completely cover, but also be loose enough to fully disguise even the feminine shape or form. Bathing suits should always be avoided and even in summer, one should wear long sleeves. In some cases, hair should be wrapped up in scarves or snoods, and should never be allowed to be loose for the view of men.
Everyone knows that men are aroused by even the mere sight of loose hair. We can't blame them or expect them to control themselves. It is their nature and we ladies are responsible for helping men and boys to control their nature.
We ladies need to realize that everytime a man is aroused by the sight of our bodies, we are responsible for tempting him to sin. To remove this temptation, we need to fully cover ourselves. It is fully our own fault if we have not covered up. If all you can see are a womans eyes, and those eyes are electric and exciting, why wouldn't you find that person provocative? I think that you would. I find many Arab women to be quite sensual despite being covered from head to toe. Sometimes anticipation and imagination create a powerful duo.
Score: [-] 64 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by moe:
« mahler87 : Here's another winner.
Women and girls should take full responsibility for any untoward thoughts that men may have about them. They need to be careful to keep fully covered; not just their midriff area, but also their neck, arms, and legs. Clothing should not only be fashioned to completely cover, but also be loose enough to fully disguise even the feminine shape or form. Bathing suits should always be avoided and even in summer, one should wear long sleeves. In some cases, hair should be wrapped up in scarves or snoods, and should never be allowed to be loose for the view of men.
Everyone knows that men are aroused by even the mere sight of loose hair. We can't blame them or expect them to control themselves. It is their nature and we ladies are responsible for helping men and boys to control their nature.
We ladies need to realize that everytime a man is aroused by the sight of our bodies, we are responsible for tempting him to sin. To remove this temptation, we need to fully cover ourselves. It is fully our own fault if we have not covered up. Sounds strikingly familiar to another extremist point of view:
Score: [-] 46 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by tomphoolry:
« dollyllama : Who are these women that need classes to know that Christian white males are responsible for all the world's troubles? Cannot these women simply observe?
I can't go to that site because I get my panties in a bunch and I don't want to be equal to the Christian white males who are constantly pulling theirs out of their crack. You forgot the sarcasm tags.
Score: [-] 67 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by tundramonkey:
« suckersklub:
Well...
...
brb. Oh my, I didn't think of my av when I typed that.
I suppose my blue body in all of its yeti hairiness could be alluring.....
Score: [-] 63 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by Marz:
My little sister, who is 7 years old absolutely loves music. When I tell her that it's not good to listen to music, she says "but I liiike it". How do get a child to HATE music?
What's wrong with music?!
Score: [-] 90 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by cycostinkoman:
Hey, why dont I go make up random crap, then put quotes around it and say that Jesus said it?
Apparently its a blast, theres thousands of quotes there.
Score: [-] 8 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by chinook:
It seems to me that everyone is jealous of America. I do wish that all of the gays would go to their home town of sweeden. We dont worry about little places like sweeden making fun of us. We will shove a bomb up their rear. Dont forget who the worlds leader in everything is "USA". Now go take a nap.
What is this place 'sweeden' that you speak of?
SO im guessing you believe in the big band theory? I hope you know that science has proved that the big bang theory had about a 1 in .0000000000000000000000000000000000000001 X a google Chance in working out the exact way it did to make the universe. God made everything. Im sorry for anyone who actualy believes in the BBT i really am.
I think the thing that upsets me the most about this is that this ignert moron spelled googol wrong.
Score: [-] 97 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by gratheo:
[on the sunject of a Bible printing company]
Yes, that is a great company. I bought one of their large print version (old eyes... what can I say?).
The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English.
It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English.
Oh god... I can't keep myself from laughing at this one.
Some of them are more a pause for thought and rage, however.
Score: [-] 82 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by tdiggity:
I think that everyone is missing the point here!!!
EDUCATION is ruining the status-quo! If we all just stay dumb we can accept our overlords and not question the system. We're supposed to just remember our place in society - we're ruining it for the old regime!!
If things continue like this, we may even have a BLACK president in a hundred years or so!
Score: [-] 15 [+].
Posted: 6 months ago by chinook:
« gratheo:Oh god... I can't keep myself from laughing at this one.
Wow. That's a gem, alright!
As much as I hated Catholic schools, I'm glad our teachers managed to teach us a thourough, almost unbiased history of religion(s). I don't ever remember thinking that Jesus, or anyone else in history or on the planet, spoke the same language(s) as I did.
Score: [-] 23 [+].
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