I've avoided the strip clubs so far, blur. I feel the same way you do about it. It's strange to sit around with a bunch of guys while they get turned on.

I have been in one once for a band that was playing there, the strippers were not out. The one I was in had a bar to sit at, facing away from the stage. Then again, your friends will probably want a table.

Good luck, that's sure to be an uncomfortable night. Bring a journal or something and concentrate on that? Maybe that would work? I don't know, that's a rough spot. Good luck, man. If anyone asks you for a handjob, just say no.

I don't see how I can use that moral in my daily life.

Anyway, did she live up to the fantasy?

Omg, you pansies. :) You look at naked women for free. It's like googling boobs, but in 3D with really bad lighting.

The girls aren't going to bother you unless you are waving a wad of bills around. You aren't going to catch anything from sitting down. Guys are not going to be walking around with wood trying to hump the furniture.

I've been a handful of times, the majority for bachelor parties. I did go once with my girlfriend in Vegas, and we both got a lapdance. It was obvious the stripper was more into my girlfriend, and I believe there was some molestation going on between them. I didn't have a problem with this, and as TraumaMamma said, it's not an issue with girl on girl, but if I guy so much as touches a stripper's leg, he probably going to be escorted out back...roughly.

My issue with strip clubs is I don't think I need to pay a woman to gyrate on stage or my lap. If anything, she should be paying me for the honor. That being said, seeing a nice set of boobs, and not getting slapped for looking at them instead of her face, is not such a bad thing.

Fake an injury then stay home and watch the Discovery Channel.

Personally, I've never been interested in visiting a strip club. But then, I can't much see paying for something that's already been handled by a thousand sweaty pervs who apparently can't get their grubby little mits on the real thing.

Best man or not, its not like bowing out of the trip will cause a family feud. Unless they've really got their priorities screwed up. Say you'd prefer not to go and let it go at that. Make plans for a poker/beer night some other time if you feel bad about it.

Is part of your discomfort that you won't have your camera?

Or just get yourself kicked out by telling all the girls that you have a 6 inch pole for them to dance on.

UHH...I was actually naive enough to ask one of the more seasoned members of the wedding party if that was kosher. He said. NO. Then followed it by a funny anecdote about taking a carryout box to a AYCE buffet. If I had a camera in my hand I would truly be an observer and not a potential participant so yes...this might have something to do with it.

You say this EXACTLY like the way I feel about them, like "I fell into the mountain gorilla enclosure at the zoo luckily the gorilla was not out" Basically I have this problem seeing people who objectify themselves as anything BUT the object they make themselves into. The fact that they still walk around, can hold a conversation, produce semi-rational thought and expect people to see THEM as people really messes with my mind. I feel the same way about celebrities. I'm sure there are plenty of really down to earth cool celebs that would just be fun to hang out with, but I would never be able to in my mind divorce them from their fame and celebrity. So yeah strippers seem a LOT like livestock, or produce to me, which works ok but the fact that they try to communicate is where things start to go haywire.

OK, former stripper here. I like most of these comments here from everyone but, blurmore, I think you're overreacting just a wee bit. They "communicate" because they are in a business-a very lucrative one, at that. We don't put much thought into people who are going to be there for the one time deal. All our money is on the customers who return because they actually like us-maybe even for our personalities (shocking!) I'd rather be in a club taking your money than actually being there spending it. It is a job. It isn't our whole lives. I guess we just all have different views.

Pics or you're lying.

Wow, thanks for the insight!!!

My experience in strip clubs has been with my significant other. Usually the girls focused on me rather than him.

One time, in a very very high class joint in the Dallas area, his buddies bought him a dance. The girl came over to me, very concerned, we had a long conversation, most of which consisted of me telling her she was just doing her job and I had no problem with her coming on to my SO. She was still very hesitant, and wanted to make sure I was fine with the whole thing. I said "go for it girl", which pissed off all of Peter's buddies, because they were expecting a rise out of me.

All in all it was a fun night!

Yeah, I don't think I should have used the word moral, I think 'point' would have made more sence.



Also, to actually mention something related to the original post. Strip clubs are very boring if you are not completely s**t-faced. With you not drinking much, that could be a problem.

I must say, Blur, that I'm 41, but other than that, the ENTIRE description of your dilemma sounds word for word like I could have written it (if I had a wedding to be involved in). I'd say that there MUST be a place that one can sit, off in a corner and by displaying body language per, "I'm only along for the ride" or if need be just TELL people to back off, I'm sure nothing would be forced onto you. (of course as I suggested in my openeing, I'm a stripclub virgin as well, so I;m just projecting my experiences at bars in general onto this...)

You first. G-string only please.

You sound like a very confident woman. I'm so glad to hear you had a good time. Most women would be so nervous. I used to go with my ex-husband also. We had a blast. I guess it's fun if you want to have a good time. Peter sounds very lucky to have you.

Exactly! The girls are very respectful when I am there and even if they are dancing for my hubby, they are connecting with me on some level.

But I have seen them be equally respectful of single males at a table as well....


Alton said...."It was obvious the stripper was more into my girlfriend, and I believe there was some molestation going on between them. I didn't have a problem with this, and as TraumaMamma said, it's not an issue with girl on girl"

That is true. My husband LOVES the attention I get...and to be honest, I don't mind a hot girl in my dancing for me.

In fact, of the Satterfield triplets bit my boob when I went up to give her a dollar and I got a standing O from the crowd in there!!

I am shocked how many guys here are intimidated and haven't gone to a strip club!

/grabs Alton, Suebe and MissWinkle and JERRY! and heads out to Diamond's west!

AHEM! Forgetting someone? :D

Your perception of not seeing them as people and associating them with *livestock* and *produce* is more disturbing to me, than the people who go there because it *is* a turn on.

You will find many of those girls to be funny, smart and very business and goal oriented. Which is more than I can say for personal friends of mine and your average girl on the street.

One must have an open mind though, and it appears many of you have perceptions of what they are like as you have never been. I was that way, myself, before I went to one, it is a great mystery as to what goes on in there. All ya gotta do is go thru the door and see for yourself, though.

Guys are not in there walking around like poster boys for Viagra. Quite the opposite, most of em are talking, eating and relaxing and actually carrying on conversations with their friends.

I once went into a strip club with a male friend. I don't know why he brought me there, maybe to test my reaction. The poor woman on the bar assumed I was an eager participant, I was merely a "ok, I'll go along with this participant". I walked out with a sense of pity for her. I never paid a bit of attention to anyone else in the place.

i.e. perhaps it's all about the attitude you walk in there with. You're already repulsed, so maybe it'll be a repulsive experience. Try to look at it from a more distant approach, a casual observer of human nature. I don't know if that's possible, considering your friendship with these guys (can you just ignore them?) Oh, and don't drink, just don't.

I have no other advice, being female and having only the 1 experience and looking at it as more of a "who cares, this wasn't my choice" perspective, it's all I've got.