Hate me if you will, I've talked to beany. It's good you've all tried to talk him down. Jax, the titty bar thing took me by surprise. We are dealing with a human soul here. Most of you have had good advice...but what you failed to see was that he was really hurting because of something he didn't understand. I have a teenager...do any of you think it's easy? Did you forget your past? Beany is a young man becoming a man. He is part of a community that can't let him down. Don't be so cavalier as to say "f**k it, I'm a loser, I'll just go to a titty bar and forget." He will wake up tomorrow with the hangover of love. He doesnt get it like the older Plimers do. Let's support his try to get his thinking in line before we tell him..."Get over it."

I can't speak for everyone, bb, but I wasn't saying get over it. And my most sincere apologies to beany if I came off that way. I was saying "you have to get over it and move on with your life". That's the only way anyone can move on, otherwise his life will be a stalemate. One cannot heal if they keep picking at the wound.

I think humor always has a place, especially during times of sadness.

And truth be told, if he was of age, a night out with close friends is exactly the kind of pick me up most people can use when they are down.

i don't think anything anyone says will magically heal him but in retrospect this will all make sense assuming he doesn't do anything irrational

I have a teenage son who will be 16 soon. He's already gone through first-love heartache, although not to the extent beany appears to have, and it was hard on him. I related my own experiences and spoke to him in a serious, empathetic way about it. I also joked around about it. It was the joking that put the smile back on his face and helped the healing begin.

I think beany was/is able to see that all of the comments made today were with his best interest at heart and weren't meant to be dismissive. I don't know him at all and didn't recognize his Plime name when I read his initial post...but looking at some of his responses to what people wrote he seemed to "get it" that we're all pulling for him to get through this ok.

I know his head is in a messed up place right now, but I think the reason he posted it here at all was in an effort to maybe reach out for some support. From all that I've read, he got it and then some.

;-)

You got the message just right. I also have a 15 year old. Thought and time are of the essence when dealing with them. If you don't phrase it right you can lose. I've lost a son, and it's not the best thing that could happen, belive me. To lose beany would mean my most awesom failure. I only know one way to get him back...let him realise that you are real. It has to mean the world to him. Beany is a very smart individual, I think he feels my heart. I mean for him to stay strong. He knows that.

hey, beany im 16 now and i know its nearly impossible for any one to try and get over some one.

so let me tell you my story you might find it helpful.
so there was this girl and everything and to make a long story short i didnt work out and i was devistated. i was down for a long time and i never 'tried' per say to get over her it just happened one day. i litterally woke up and i was like wtf was i thinking. and wham i was 2 million times better. of course this may not be the same for you every one is different

and heres some advice

and this is if you do end up leaving her which i think you probably should. ( i know its hard)

but say if you do leave her and you finally do get over her

-dont look for anyone for a while. when im actually looking for a girl to be my 'significant other' it rarley works out. Love came to me when i was least expecting it. One day i was working at the Y and my friend brought her friend and we talked all summer and finally i asked her out and its going to be 9 monthes this saturday


and all this is coming to you from your average 16 year old Dork =P from outside Philadelphia not a shrink. which could mean that 1) it may not be right or helpful to you but it also means that 2) this message was very personalized just for you.

Good luck with whatever you do Beany.

Before you go off on this guy, think about it. Unless he kidnapped her, she made a decision. I hate it when folks see a cheater and blame the one they are cheating with. I understand why, but they are wrong.

More to the point, did she see the relationship the same way you did? I have had times in the past when the girl I would move Heaven and Earth for just didn't feel the same way. But in my emotional state I just knew she loved me, too.

If she knew how you felt, and you actually talked about and agreed to be exclusive, she is a cheater and you need to let her go.

If you never actually heard her say the words, you just assumed that because you were only seeing her she should only see you, talk to her. She may decide you are the one, or she may say "No, I don't want to be tied down". If the later, and you can't be happy with her dating around, let her go.

You people vote up the most f**ked up s**t. Where is your head? Is that what you feel? It's like American Idol...Sanjaya has friggin hair...he gets my vote. You people have to get into the real world. Not that Dork or kxmk are wrong...but he's a human, not our test subject. I think we talked today and he will sleep on it. He will make the right decision. Go to sleep!

Don't misunderstand. We aren't saying you shouldn't care. If you didn't care this would be easy. Caring is good.

But, no matter what it feels like now, it is possible to care and still move on.

Wanting to hurt someone when you have been hurt is normal. ACTUALLY hurting someone because you have been hurt is selfish, shortsighted, and possibly criminal.

You see him as having taken something away from you. That makes this girl an object or possession with no will of her own. Unfortunately, he can't take what wasn't really yours to begin with.

Someday, you will meet someone that you "love" and your first thoughts will be about how to give her the love you feel, not how to get the love you think she should give you. If it is "the one" you will find that she feels the same.

beany, you're much better looking than that roider looking motherf**ker. Listen, s**t happens in life you need to know that you're not alone and many people go through similiar situations every day, we all move on though, you will too. You hate life now and feel like you'll never really smile again, but you will. Then you'll look back and snicker at HER loss.
My emotions have been kicked, punched, and dragged around but I can tell you that you WILL be ok. Internet stranger advice sucks, but you need to trust us when we say that you're better off without her (no one deserves to be treated like s**t, must less f**ked over.) and you will feel better.

I hope today is looking brighter for you beany.

Come and let us know how you are doing, alright? You're in my thoughts.

well thing got worse last night. she called me up and was laughing and kidding about the whole situation while i was trying to explain why i was so f**king mad. then the other started to talk s**t and called me a pussy b***h and that he would kick my ass any day. so i hung up on her. havent talked to her since.

idk what im going to do now...

so me and my best friend decided that were going to kick his ass. well mostly i will he'll be there to make sure the fight is fare, but hes talking s**t about both of us now. so hes going to regret it. severely regret it. Oh and were going to record it. so it can turn into this

That's the right thing to do, my man. Good job, very mature of you.

I hope you know what you are getting yourself into. Violence begets violence. I won't try to talk you down from it any more, as it is clear you have made a decision. Just be careful. And if I can offer you a bit of advice, "there is no such thing as a fair fight." Be prepared for him to fight dirty. This I strongly discourage, dude. That's like asking for parents to get involved and lawsuits to take place. Remember that fighting isn't exactly legal, and the last thing you need when doing illegal things is evidence.

Also, I'd mess with his head a little. Start a rumor that you have herpes, and you think you may have gotten it from that girl. He'll be nervous for a little while.

Exactly. you can accomplish a bit physically, but the mental game is what its all about. Get friendly with his sister. Turn him against his best friend. Something that'll really do some damage. you can play with her head too:
[NSFW-language]

<a href='http://www.plime.com/redir.p?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpTTsTJS8j4' class='plime' target='_blank' rel='nofollow'><b>flash video</b></a>

Thanks for the update beany. I'd continue not talking to her, she really sounds like a not-so-nice person. You are better than the crap she is pulling.

I wish I had advice for you. Violence is hardly ever the answer. Just... yeah... be careful. I hope you've spoken to Bornbad. It seems like he has had some amazing advice for you.

You obviously aren't interested in reason or logic. You've been given some really good advice in this thread, it's a shame you're going to ignore it.

You start the thread telling us how severely this kid is going to regret his actions, and now you actually want to record a fight so that you can showcase it on the internet. That turns this from a really great advice thread into a terrible stubborn bragging tough guy thread.

i made out with his sister

Don't forget the 'herpes' angle. This could mean that she has it too.