So this is the situation . . .

About 9 years ago, my younger sister, J., was working at Target. One of the other workers there, a guy named Cascade, had just moved here and seemed kind of lonely, so J. invited him out to eat a few times - just as a friend thing, not a date. Then the guy started following her around at work and acting oddly, and J. told him she didn't want to date him.

He quit soon after that. A few weeks later, he left a rambling, 8 page letter, purportedly written by his "new girlfriend", in my grandfather's mailbox. The letter called J. a b***h and said she'd regret losing him. I can only assume it was left at my grandfather's house because he lives in a rural area where it would be easy to sneak up to the mailbox, while at the time my sister and I shared a townhouse where a neighbor would be sure to spot anyone hanging around. There are only three people with my last name in the phone book here - me, my parents, and my grandfather.

Anyway, at the time J. laughed it off, and we didn't hear anything more from the guy for years. Then, shortly before xmas, my parents recieved a bizarre call from him telling them that their "big house won't keep you safe", that he'd make sure "you're on the evening news" and that they had "your little daughter J. to thank for it". FREAKY.

My parents called the cops, but since he was calling from out of state (somewhere out west, while we're on the east coast) the cops said there was nothing they could do about it. My parents continued to get calls from this Cascade guy, but he never said anything, just breathed into the phone and then hung up. Their caller ID showed the calls were still coming from out west.

Now by this point, J. has moved to another state, but I'm still living in the same townhouse we used to share.

Just today, my mom got a garbled call from Cascade telling her to "go f**k yourself" which the caller ID showed was coming FROM A PAY PHONE IN MY TOWN.

So the crazy b*****d has come all the way across the country and is still threatening my parents. I haven't gotten any calls, but I usually don't pick up the phone when I'm home in the evenings unless I'm expecting a call, and my line is often otherwise tied up with the internet so it's possible he's tried and missed me.

Needless to say, I'm finding it very difficult to get to sleep tonight. Have any of you ever dealt with a situation like this before - got any suggestions? I've got all the lights on, global warming be damned, and am sleeping with a claw hammer and steak knife on my nighttable.

Have you considered recording all these calls? How about having the phones in your home monitored by the police?

If he's back in town, it seems a reasonable request to have the police cruise by your house on a regular basis. They do it when people go on vacation - this should qualify!

As a last resort, maybe I'd have a private detective track this guy down and tell him that "HE" is being watched... turn the tables on him!

Just throwing some ideas out... can't say I've ever had anything quite like what you are describing though.

My mom recorded the first death threat call, and I made her promise tonight when she called me to tell me that she'd call the cops and have them drive by the house.
The private detective thing is a good idea. I'll suggest that to her.

get a guard dog. no joke. the growl and bark of a mean pitbull, rottweiler, doberman, will scare any man away. and it would be a nice companion.

Don't guess, and don't take this lightly. Get help from those that have been through it.

A quick search found these resources, a search of your own may find others. (I do not have personal experience with these groups, but they are a place to start.)

The Stalking Victims Sanctuary is a support group. They have some resources, and they can help you deal with the other side of this. You must look out for physical safety, but just the threat can have an emotional toll, as well.

The Antistalking Website - Has a "What to do" page. You are somewhere past the initial steps where you tell him "no", etc. They also have a list of resources that can you help find out your rights and find help.

The National Center for Victims of Crime has a Stalking Resource Center, and a resource for looking up Stalking Laws by State.

End Stalking in America, Inc. seems to have some useful info. Look for links at the bottom of the page for laws by State, a decent walkthru of the criminal justice system (MUST READ), documenting your case, etc.

BadTeddy has a list of Anti-stalker Organizations. Just a page of links, but there might be something applicable to you.

eHowTo's How to deal with a stalker has some of the same info that I saw on the others, but in a list. Not as helpful as the others, but a begining. I would put more weight into a group that deals with it.

I really have no suggestions. If it was me, I'd track him down and resort to excessive violence. It'd be easier to run away from a stalker who's missing a couple kneecaps.

Apart from that, take it seriously until the situation is somehow solved. Try to get the police involved. If you have NRA buddies invite them over.

Good luck.

A private detective could get you name, address, previous arrests, phone numbers,...etc in about a day for roughly $300.00
I doubt that a person like this is clean. Get the info, give it to the cops, fill out a report, go to court. That's the legal way.

Personally, I would get the info from the private detective, and take the f**ker fishing.

If it were me, I'd be hiding under my bed and crying.

If the cops won't cruise by your house on a regular basis, give me their number so I can b***h them out.

The best of luck to you.

How frightening! Good that your mother recorded that call. Hope the cops wake up and come by the house. The recording should be seen as a valid threat and action should be taken immediately.

The private detective idea is good too.

I have a NYPD billy club you can borrow anytime.

Good luck to you all. Hope it turns out for the best.

Everyone else covered the stalking thing, so I'll just cover the phoner thing. Have an air-horn next to the phone at all times, when he calls blast the s**t out of his eardrums. We get this sometimes in telemarketing, hurts like a b*****d.

VooDoo... any update? You know we're all curious now.

Yeah! I'm for hire...wait, that's the drugs talking. Update???

BUMP.

Still need an update VooDoo. Don't leave us hangin'. Grandpa here worries.

(If a legal type said note to talk about it here, just send us a wink to know you are takin' care of yourself.)

Bumpage... VooDoo?? We're looking for some closure.

My parents called the cops and in a not enteirely unsuspected turn of events, the cops told them they couldn't do anything (and didn't seem anxious to try). I suggested a private detective and sent my mom the stalker links. We haven't heard anything else from the guy . . .

I'll bet he's still an a*****e.